The worst of Star Wars Legends

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Valigarmander
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The worst of Star Wars Legends

#1

Post by Valigarmander » Mon Jan 02, 2017 5:43 pm

There was a lot of cool stuff in the old Star Wars EU. Shadows of the Empire, Rogue Squadron, Kyle Katarn, Knights of the Old Republic, Thrawn (wait, he's canon again). But if we're going to be completely honest with ourselves, most of it was just okay at best, and at many times absolute trash. Let's take some time to reflect on parts of the old EU that won't be missed. Like C-3PX, or "what if C-3P0 was a bounty hunter?"

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Or Beldorion, the lightsaber-wielding Hutt Jedi.

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Or Lord Nyax, with his mighty lightsaber suit.

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Or Dracmus the space otter Selonian, seen here fighting Han Solo.

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Or Jaxxon the space bunny Lepi smuggler.

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Or Hohass Ekwesh the space horse Thakwaash fighter pilot.

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#2

Post by Calamity Panfan » Mon Jan 02, 2017 7:08 pm

this was supposed to be a "worst of" topic and you picked all the coolest star wars things wtf val
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes
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#3

Post by RinkuTheFirst » Mon Jan 02, 2017 7:44 pm

http://io9.gizmodo.com/crystal-star-rea ... 1788426849
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#4

Post by Booyakasha » Mon Jan 02, 2017 7:45 pm

Anyone read 'Tales of the Bounty Hunters'? Pretty good book. Has one of the best Boba Fett stories I've ever read. 'Last Man Standing'-----------if you've never read it, you should check it out.

That IG-88 story is a gigantic piece of sh*t, though. And, like, it's the first story in the book. I'm actually surprised I made it past that garbage to get to the awesome Bossk, Dengar and Boba Fett stories.

Actually, the Tales books in general are a mixed bag. There's some truly appalling garbage in there. Some good stuff, too, but plenty of bad.
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#5

Post by I am nobody » Mon Jan 02, 2017 10:08 pm

Holy **** those last two are real:

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Wookiepedia wrote: Han Solo: "I saw that, rabbit…"
Jaxxon: "Well, hooray for your side! You must'a been eatin' your space-carrots…never could stand 'em myself! I'm—"
Han Solo: "I heard: A meat-eater…one that needs a job right?"
Jaxxon: "Well I ain't standin' out here for the decor."
―Jaxxon meets Han Solo[src]
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"You knew he had a hard head."
―Ton Phanan to Wedge Antilles[src]
Hohass Ekwesh, also known as Runt, was a male Thakwaash from the world of Thakwaa, serving the New Republic as a founding member of the starfighter/covert operations unit, Wraith Squadron and fighting in the campaign against Warlord Zsinj.



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#6

Post by Random User » Tue Jan 03, 2017 12:36 am

Fursona self-inserts? Lmfaoooo.
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#7

Post by ScottyMcGee » Tue Jan 03, 2017 12:48 am

I only read the good Star Wars EU books. The Han Solo Trilogy was da bomb. The earlier published Han Solo stories were good too. My favorite was Han Solo at Star's End. Heck, the Jedi Apprentice books for kids was mega awesome. My childhood was in those books. I also ready the Young Jedi Knights series, albeit they were corny. I also liked Children of the Jedi and Crystal Star. Man it's been so long since I read those, but I remember enjoying them. I later found out people hated those the most but my little kid brain must have thought they were awesome. So go figure.I did actually read Splinter of the Mind's Eye, which was supposed to be the sequel to Star Wars if it tanked.

Darth Maul Shadow Hunter though was badass. Every Star Wars fan should read that.

I remember being "meh" about Rogue Planet.

The Yuuzhan Vong books were intense, trying to go all George R R Martin with the character deaths. It was a good punch in the face for the otherwise fairy-tale-endings to Star Wars.

But ANYTHING AFTER THE YUUZHAN VONG BOOKS SUCK

JUST SUCK

SUCK SO HARD

I always thought the Yuuzhan Vong saga should have been the end of the Star Wars EU. That's it. Done. But no, they had to go an ruin some more stuff.

Oh and also there was that comic series about the Emperor's clones. That was dumb. Ruined the finality of Return of the Jedi.
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#8

Post by Booyakasha » Tue Jan 03, 2017 3:08 am

I really liked them Republic Commando books. Karen Traviss managed the neat trick of making me care about clone troopers, when I could scarcely give a crap about anyone at all in the prequel movies. Yeah.

Anyone read 'Tales of the Jedi'? Pretty good comic. I especially liked "Dark Lords of the Sith". I hadn't seen a character fall to the Dark Side before (DLotS predated the prequels by years), and Exar Kun's descent was a hell of a lot more realistic and relatable than Anakin's in Episode Pathetic Three.
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#9

Post by ScottyMcGee » Tue Jan 03, 2017 8:45 am

A friend of mine had Tales of the Jedi waaayyy back in the day and I remember I wanted them. I was obsessed with wanting to read early Jedi lore. I totally forgot that series existed then until you mentioned it.
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#10

Post by Booyakasha » Tue Jan 03, 2017 8:58 am

Yeah, man. Good old Ulic Qel-droma, and Nomi Sunrider and all. Exar Kun. That was some super--hype biz, man. You should check it out, if you get half a chance.
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#11

Post by 1-up Salesman » Tue Jan 03, 2017 12:53 pm

I like the Dark Forces games. I bought my brother the Darth Plagueis novel for Christmas- technically Legends, but it hasn't really been touched upon or contradicted by anything in the current canon, so some of it might fit and some of it might not.
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#12

Post by Booyakasha » Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:14 pm

I liked the original 'Dark Forces'. Then the sequels came out and Kyle Katarn became a Jedi. What a load of wank. Like why would anyone want to play as a mere Han Solo-esque badass who steals Death Star plans (OG Rogue One, right) and punches dragons in the face. Give him the sword---------have him be a sword guy. Uggh.
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