OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUD: where we complain about popular things in media we don't like to feel better about ourselves

[CaptHayfever]

I always thought it was funny in SSB64 that Samus's electrocution animation was just her humanoid model under the suit instead of a skeleton.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

^^Ahahaa oh wow. I'm amazed that I thought of 'Home Alone 2' and not RotJ. Nice one, man.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

I think I remember Pikachu shocking people and their skeletons showing too, funny how even in another country so far away and different that they have that same idea.

[Booyakasha]

So everyone knows 'Troll 2' is a ridiculous pile of garbage, but there's one complaint everyone has about the movie that I've never understood--------------the notion that the movie doesn't have any trolls in it, just goblins. As if there's an appreciable difference between trolls and goblins outside of the D&D Monster Manual. Come off it.

Yeah, I get it, the stupid town is called Nilbog (fun fact----------if you spell 'Nilbog' backwards, do you know what word you get? Yes, that's right! 'Dracula'!). But be honest---‐-----the movie would be every bit as moronic if the town had been called 'Llort' or '2 Llort' or 'Leuqes Llort Dellac-os Yenolab Ynohp' instead.

[Booyakasha]

...I actually had to flee the room just now. 'Turning Red' is just the worst. I hate it it so, so much. It is abominable.

[CaptHayfever]

^It gets MUCH better after the first few minutes. I can't blame you for utterly loathing that first few minutes, though.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

I missed like five minutes in the middle and then went back (the kids are home-------------------I'll watch a bad movie to spend time with them).

[Booyakasha]

...how did the trash compactor monster get onto the Death Star? I want an explanation.

The Death Star was built in space. All of the stuff in it, the laser beams and barracks and break rooms and tree forts and vending machines and all, it was all built in space. The crappy cold life-sucking void of space. So how does a goldang dianoga get in there.

...is the dianoga some stormtrooper's poor pet aligator that he flushed down the toilet? Did Grand Moff Tarkin wind up with a horrible space parasite after one too many Utini Supremes from Space Taco Bell? Did Admiral Got-Choked-Guy order up a gross sewer monster from Amazon to frig up the Death Star's sewage system because he felt hurt and vulnerable and impotent after Vader choked him, and it was the only way he could think to enact petty revenge? I wanna know.

[Deku Tree]

...how did the trash compactor monster get onto the Death Star? I want an explanation.

The Death Star was built in space. All of the stuff in it, the laser beams and barracks and break rooms and tree forts and vending machines and all, it was all built in space. The crappy cold life-sucking void of space. So how does a goldang dianoga get in there.

...is the dianoga some stormtrooper's poor pet aligator that he flushed down the toilet? Did Grand Moff Tarkin wind up with a horrible space parasite after one too many Utini Supremes from Space Taco Bell? Did Admiral Got-Choked-Guy order up a gross sewer monster from Amazon to frig up the Death Star's sewage system because he felt hurt and vulnerable and impotent after Vader choked him, and it was the only way he could think to enact petty revenge? I wanna know.

You underestimate how much every stupid little thing in Star Wars movies gets expounded upon elsewhere.

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Omi

This one is particularly silly. There's a whole backstory to the thing and the monster was actually force sensitive and was only trying to baptize Luke Skywalker.

[Booyakasha]

AAAAAHHHHHHHH THE HORRIBLE TOY LIGHTSABRE-WIELDING HORDES ARE TRYING TO EAT MY BRAIN OR MAKE ME WEAR A BABY YODA HAT OR SOMETHING

PULL BACK TO TNE 2ND PERIMETER--------------BILLY ACCIDENTALLY REREAD THE THRAWN TRILOGY AND TURNED, HIS CHECKPOINT HAS BEEN OVERRUN

Mother of pearl. There's nothing I despise more than a clever-trousers retcon in Star Wars. That was almost physically painful to read. 'Omi'? Moar like 'Oh bite mi' amirite

That's right up there with the horrible IG-88 story from 'Tales of the Bounty Hunters', wherein IG-88 gets his consciousness uploaded into the computer of the second Death Star and uses his control of Death Star systems to trap the Emperor in an elevator for a minute. Wow, IG-88, you sure showed him, you hilarious prankster. Maybe next you could make his toilet overflow, or order him something he doesn't want from Pizza Hutt.

Did these unbelievable subnormals forget that it's possible to write about new things in Star Wars? It's Star Wars! Remember? 'Space----The final frontier!' 'Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations!' Those are quotes from Star Wars, right? Of course I'm right! So broaden your horizons! Thou fool!

That old 'Tales of the Jedi' comic series was flippin fantastic, and we didn't have to hear one damn word about any insignificant background characters from the original trilogy. And that's me saying this, the guy who pretty much hates lightsabres and loves everything about the original original trilogy and not much else in SW these days.

I don't care how good the story is, I don't want to ever hear a damn word about that Y-Wing 'I'm hit!' idiot in RotJ. I'm sure there's forty-thousand words on Wookieepedia about that guy-----------his planet of origin, his beliefs, his upbringing, the time his older brother held him down and farted on his head and stole his Leonardo action figure and that act of injustice formed the spark of outrage that inevitably led him to join the rebellion and rise to the rank of 'I'm Hit!' Idiot Leader------------I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know what a mouse droid is actually called, I don't want to know what happened to the maintenance technician that accidentally placed a bad motivator in R5-D4, I don't want to know what happened to Bea Arthur after her cantina shut down for good. The next person who tells me something interesting I didn't know about Star Wars is getting a spanking!

[Deku Tree]

...how did the trash compactor monster get onto the Death Star? I want an explanation.

...

I wanna know.

[Booyakasha]

...yeah, alright.

Sometimes we are the creators of the hell we live in.

[Deku Tree]

[Booyakasha]

you're a gonk one, mister gonk
you really are a gonk
your gonk is full of gonkiness, your gonk is like a gonk
mister go-onk
the words that best describe you are as follows, and i quote
gonk! gonk! gonk!

[Booyakasha]

...man. So Disney finally found the part they snipped out of the theatrical release of 'Muppet Christmas Carol', and they restored and remastered it and stuffed it back into the film, and now the whole shebang's up on Disney+.

I'm glad they fixed it, but I find myself wondering why they cut it out in the first place (for those not in the know, the scene is from the Ghost of Christmas Past sequence. Belle breaks things off with young Ebenezer, and sings this beautiful sad song, "When Love is Gone". Disney cut the song out, because their hearts are full of unwashed socks, I guess). It's such a weird move. You have this nice song, you've got Michael Caine acting his ascot off (I hear he took the role solely on the understanding that he was going to treat it like Shakespeare, and it shows), and there's only a flipping reprise of the song at the end of the movie. Did Disney just have no faith in their audience? 'Kids are too stupid to understand this part-------it dun gots no dumb garbage in, no Gonzo hitting Rizzo with a clown-hammer, at all. Lose it.' Jim Henson would never have dumbed things down like that. Ugh.

[CaptHayfever]

^It didn't play well with the test audiences; they thought it slowed down the film too much. They did put it back into the TV version, though, so the 4:3 ratio cut has always had it, just not the widescreen cut.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

...those test audiences can go eat worms, the slack-jawed scum.

"Slowed the film down" my backside. What were they expecting in the second act of 'Muppet Christmas Carol', a jetski chase? Fools. Clownshoes.

[Gametrek]

I don't know what your getting at OP.

So to sum things up. Think of the world like this from now one. How would me life be without cellular phones?

My moms/dads generation is nothing but TV, TV, TV, and honestly my generation is about videogames, videogames, videogames, then the generation after that is youtube, facebook, twitter. Somewhere before youtube my generation was P2P, forums, and ebay ( before enforcement of taxing internet sales came into reality which is stupid for garage sellers ).

but when you look at the bigger picture their is a real world out there. A world of the opposite sex, nice moments, hard work through education and labor, and driving vehicles.

.............

Your problem OP is that your like me with television. I have watched so much nook, cranny, and could spot the garbage a mile away. I could look at something and automatically guess the next line, outcome or series of events. I know where these things are going. Guess what?

That is not how we are suppose to watch television. We should come home from our work ( slavery ), school ( slavery ), or whatever event, have some pizza, booze, and be able to cuddle in bed with the opposite sex, while the crap is playing.

TV is really radio for sex. Imagine the lustful joy of the opposite sex while the crap is going on in front of you.

................

Scientifically women have the ability to see more colors,

Since post WWII the usage of colors and any other psychological advancements like LSD, has been in usage.

During the 1800's did you know Cocaine was inside of Coca-Cola ??? Why? It was used as a way to quiet women down and shut them up, while putting them inside an ideal state of mind. So the man of the house could be the man of the house and she would not get in the way. Even after that women was mostly carried to insane-asylums ( which is sorta practiced by specific individuals ) for acting out inappropriately to even given shock treatments of sorts, and it was legal to hit ones wife with a stick no bigger then your thumb for the longest, while the belt, and paddle was left unanswered. This normality continued even into the modern era where scenes of the Honey-Mooners and I Love Lucy show had them being dragged to a backroom and put in their place to correct their attitudes, leaving them with a momentary of stress. Women had to be made normal in order for society to progress and nowadays [removed].

That is how terrible things are. I ask myself "Why does my mother till this day just continue to drown her time in endless TV". I know why because it is like beer to my father, and videogames for me. It is a type of escape from reality, then actually admitting "Things was a lot better when everybody was in there place, right or wrong.

By that I mean the nook of the world, and progress where everybody has a chance to thrive. Not a world where your only friend is your imagination and your co-workers, and class-mates ( AKA your fellow slaves ) you undoubtedly talk with. The real world is sex, food, dance, and everybody working hard to enjoy it all. If the world was one big gym, or imaginative Rome ( like from "Startrek:Next Gen ) maybe we wouldn't need the escape to begin with.

.................

In short you have been into it too much and need a change of pace. Like exercizing or talking with people. Go to a bar, have a drink, hit on a girl or mess with a guy, or just take a walk somewhere. Go dancing, find an actual club or meet-up event. Invest your time into something else.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

I'll just say, cocaine isn't exactly known for its quieting properties.

[Booyakasha]

So I just watched this video on YouTube wherein a trauma surgeon talks about every horrific injury Harry and Marv experience at the hands of Kevin McCallister in the first two 'Home Alone' flicks. It's a good video------she knows her stuff. But she says multiple times in the video that there's something extremely wrong with Kevin, he's a psychopath for the horrifying tortures he inflicts on these two reprobates.

Umm. Counterpoint:
1. These movies are cartoons. Yes, Kevin takes them to church, but they keep standing up and coming back for more, and Kevin is...home alone. He doesn't know they're the Wet Bandits--------they could be the Wet Human Traffickers or the Wet Child Vivisectors or the Wet AMs, for all he knows. He's defending the homefront, he's defending himself, and his parents and the coppers are nowhere to be found. Cut Kevin a flippin break, lady. Might as well call Tweety Bird a psychopath for occasionally rending Sylvester limb from limb. (Great, now I'm defending Tweety Bird. Ugh.)
2. The lady says over and over again how many times Harry and Marv should be dead or kasploded (or at the very least incapacitated), and yet they keep standing back up. What the hell are they, the Wet Terminators?

So my basic point, I think, is leave Kevin McCallister alone, lady. At worst he was a scared sad kid who had to pump himself up like John McClane (he literally says to himself 'This is it. Don't get scared now.' If you don't think that's more-or-less the same as 'Oh, John, what the hell are you doing?!?' right before John jumps off the roof, then you can get out of my face)--------------at best, this kid needs to be an analyst in fighting the Borg, or the Xenomorphs. We will always need tough savvy little bastards who aren't afraid to tear monsters apart at the seams.