111 Movies for 2022

[Booyakasha]

I watched 'Rifftrax: The Wonderful Land of Oz' for free on YouTube. It's from the same insane people who made 'Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny', so it was pretty not great, but the Rifftrax gang made it fun.

(EDIT: I have to say, I feel bad for Tip. His whole character arc goes from 'my evil witch stepmother wants to murder me--------please, i just want to live' to 'glinda the massive-air-quotes good witch kills me instead and destroys my soul forever'. None of the evil b-holes in the whole dumb movie get any comeuppance, and the ostensible hero (an innocent boy) gets unmade on a fundamental level. And none of Tip's so-called friends object in any way. Jack Pumpkinhead stands idly by as Tip, the guy who created him, and whom Jack addresses as 'father' all through the flick, is removed from existence. It's not okay, man.

I've never read any of the Oz books------------if this is representative of what happens in them, maybe I'm glad I haven't.)

[Booyakasha]

So I'm watching one of my favourite martial-arts movies. It's called 'The Protector'. I've seen it before-------------it is bonkers squared. If you like rad action, sell your soul to see 'The Protector'.

Tony Jaa was pretty much the new Sonny Chiba or Jet Li at the time, and it shows. If you don't want to sit through a whole dang movie, please at least do yourself the favour of watching this. It is perhaps the most gorgeously-shot action sequence that has ever been.

In which Tony Jaa obliterates an entire building's worth of a-holes in one long take. They took his elephants, and he is pretty damnably irritated. It is glorious.

[EDIT: Flip, man. I've watched this video about thirty times since I posted it. I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching Tony Jaa throw chairs and vases at people. I know that's how I play Smash.

[CaptHayfever]

37) Blade - A-
38) Shanghai Noon - B+
39) Doctor Strange - B
40) Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness - A-. They went hard with this one. Super Raimiesque. Simply delightful. Don't show it to small children.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

...the new MST3K is improving, but it still isn't very funny. Like, I can appreciate the effort that goes into the show, but if the entire point is to make people laugh, and people aren't laughing as much...well, I don't know.

Just saw the 'Mac & Me' episode. 'Mac & Me' is a garbagey rip-off of 'ET', something I already don't like very much. MST3K-ing it helped. There were some funny riffs, but the best part of the new MST3K is still the host segments.

Oh, and one last thought-------------nearly four minutes of end credits. Never noticed that before. Old MST3K didn't need that. Don't even think the movie needed that. They need all these extra people to deliver mediocrity. Is that just how things are, now?

[EDIT: I also watched Jim Gaffigan's new stand-up special 'Comedy Monster', and Brian Regan's new show 'On the Rocks'. They were both pretty funny.)

[CaptHayfever]

41) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) - A
42) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze - C
43) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III - D
44) TMNT (2007) - B
45) You've Got Mail - C-

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

'Bolt'------Liked it quite a lot, actually. Good clean fun.
'The Bad Guys'------‐Also good, and entertaining. Here's a laugh-------the only people in the main cast whose names I recognized (aka Marc Maron and Richard Ayoade) were the only people my sister didn't know.
'Paddington'---------I'm flabbergasted at how good this was. They could have phoned it in so easily, and yet it was just terrific. I watched it with Iree one morning, and honestly, I'd watch it again solo.
'Back to the Outback'-----------...it's hard not to look at this as a ripoff of 'Madagascar' or 'The Wild', which is a shame, because it's way better than them. Ehhh.
'Whisker Away'---------Goofy anime flick Riv wanted to check out. It was silly enough that we could both laugh at it.
'Five Feet Apart'--------Meh hospital melodrama about highschoolers with cystic febrosis. Riv wanted to check it out because she'd read the YA novel it was based on, and she was annoyed by some of the changes they made in adapting it. We ended up talking a bit about filmmakers having to streamline things and fudge details a little to make a book into a movie. She's sharp, man.
'MST3K: Atlantic Rim'----------You know, if the new MST3K wants to succeed, it should tackle movies that are hilariously stupid, not just painful. New MST3K needs a 'Teenagers from Outer Space' or 'Brain That Couldn't Die' or 'Pumaman', stat.

Riv and I also watched 'Batman: Mask of the Phantasm'. I'd seen it before, she hadn't------------I don't think she's seen any of the Burton/Schumacher flicks, so she was a little weirded out by the gothic/art deco/pseudo-noir look of Gotham. She liked Mark Hamill's Joker, though.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Hamill's a great Joker, he's who comes to mind when I hear the name. He strikes a good balance; a bit hammy, but not to the degree of 60's Batman or even Nicholson's. A bit edgy, but not as much as Phoenix or Ledger.

I'd have thrown Leto in there somewhere but I haven't subjected myself to his film yet.

I got around to watching Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie. It's not terrible but he's at his best when he's playing a game, not doing a skit, and the movie is basically one elaborate skit.

[Heroine of the Dragon]

Aquaman

[Booyakasha]

I saw 'Wreck-It Ralph' for the first time today. I thought it was super-great. It was lots of fun to see all the video game references and all (also helps to contextualise Ralph being one of the racers in 'Sonic and All-Stars Racing Transformed').

I'm really glad this was so good-----------I saw most of the stupid sequel with the kids a couple years back, and it was stupid.

...'Sugar Rush' looks dope as heck. I'd play the everlovin out of that, if it existed.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

^ I saw it, yet I never connected the dots and still thought it was a bit random Ralph was in Sonic Racing Transformed, but now it clicks.

[CaptHayfever]

Fell behind on logging for a while there, sorry. Since I last checked in, we've had Christmas in July, a Hunger Games marathon, & an Amanda Bynes fest.

46) While You Were Sleeping - C-
47) Thor: Love & Thunder - B. Not as good as Ragnarok, but I was really impressed with how well Jane's story was handled.
48) Creature from the Black Lagoon - B-. Standard 50s rubber-monster schlock, but very well-executed.
49) How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) - B+
50) Silver Skates - D+. We got bored & gave up on it; there are more interesting Russian Revolution stories.
51) The Secret of the Nutcracker - C. Most of the movie felt like setup, & then all of a sudden it was over. The little brother was great, though.
52) Christmas Again - C+. Too long, too many subplots. Pretty clever, though.
53) The Hunger Games - B+
54) Catching Fire - B+
55) Mockingjay Part 1 - B
56) Mockingjay Part 2 - B-
57) Big Fat Liar - A-
58) What A Girl Wants - B-
59) LoveWrecked (PG cut) - D-
60) Robots - C
61) She's the Man - A
62) Hairspray - A
63) Sydney White - C
64) Living Proof - C
65) Easy A - A
66) RV - B-. Actually better than I expected it to be.
67) The Parent Trap (1998) - B+

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

68) Ancient Caves - B+. Thrilling cinematography, strong sense of both wonder & danger.
69) Wings Over Water - B-. Great info about sustainable farming, & following the birds is adorable, but some jarring music cues & unnecessary animated shots distract.
70) Revenge of the Creature - D+. We got bored & put on the MST3K version instead.
71) Monty Python & the Holy Grail - A
72) Bernie the Dolphin - D. Were the producers on drugs, or did they just not get to see any dailies?

I am now the proud owner of two empty halves of coconut.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

73) Christmas Twister - D. Or should I said "Christams Twister"?
74) Thor: Ragnarok - A
75) Frozen II - B+
76) 50/50 - A-
77) Don't Look Under the Bed - C+. Better than I expected.
78) The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones - D. Mocking how lazy this script is was the best part.
79) Begin Again - A-
80) Friendship's Field - C-

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

81) Christmas with Felicity - D. Boring & predictable, with obnoxious characters.
82) Howl's Moving Castle - A-
83) Christmas in Florida - F. Insulting, meandering, nonsensical, incompetent.
84) The Woman King - A-. Magnificent, intense, thematically powerful.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

I saw a Ghibli movie too, yesterday. Made it through Princess Mononoke this time, I can't remember why I lost interest before, it's pretty cool.

[Booyakasha]

Took my ma to 'Young Frankenstein' on Sunday for her birthday. Neither of us had ever seen it on the big screen before. Great flick------------I hadn't seen it in years and years, it's funny how much you forget.

Gene Wilder could go from zero to 100 in the blink of an eye, man.

[CaptHayfever]

^I read his autobiography earlier this year. Fantastically witty & deep.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

'Rifftrax: Cyber Tracker' is free on YouTube.

...I like Don 'The Dragon' Wilson. I'd like to know how he earned 'The Dragon' as an epithet. Like, even if it turns out he gave himself that nickname, I'm still fine with it. Because Don Wilson is kind of a generic name. Don Wilson could be an acupuncturist or an insurer. Don 'The Dragon' Wilson is not generic at all.

On the other hand, once you're an action star, you can change your name to whatever you want. "I'm tired of being Fred Mertz-----------if you want me in your flick, you can call me Rad Kasplodicus."

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Watched a few movies recently:

Inuyasha the Movie: The Castle Beyond the Looking Glass. It's good, but not particularly memorable. Late 90's & early 00's animation has a great aesthetic though.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2. I liked the first one more but it's fine by current standards. I hope Mario does better, I think it might but we'll see.

Loose Change 9/11: An American Coup. Interesting watch, but I'm not sure what to make of the information nor how accurate it may or may not be.

Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes. Creepy, not much else to say.

[Booyakasha]

Didn't see much new stuff with the kids this time.

'Lightyear'-----------I thought it was good. Well made and all. About the only thing I'd say against it is that it kind of makes the canon of 'Toy Story' weird (supposedly 'Lightyear' is Andy's favourite movie, yet Andy's room decor and imaginative play are all cowpoke-themed up until after Andy gets the Buzz toy) (also...I mean, not to get political, but I think 'Lightyear' would've been ridiculously controversial back in 1995, what with its positive portrayal of LGBT characters. I don't know if anyone else remembers the 90s clearly, but there were parents' groups worrying about Tinky-Winky, the genital-free gibberish-speaking goblin, influencing their kids to be gay. Worrying whether Bert and Ernie the puppets were gay, to the point of calling their local PBS affiliates to ask about it and threaten boycotts. Presumably 'Lightyear' would have made them small-town Karens apoplectic). It isn't strictly wrong, and it doesn't hurt any of the movies; just, sometimes a retcon kind of clunks, and this is one of those times.
'Luck'------------...it was alright. Upper-tier kids' entertainment. I'll probably never watch it again, though I'm glad Simon Pegg is getting work (sort of seems like his star in Hollywood faded after the dippy new Star Trek flicks petered out).