OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUD: where we complain about popular things in media we don't like to feel better about ourselves

[Booyakasha]

the old Ray Williams Jr song

(*facepalms*) Man, I'm stupid. Who the hell is Ray Williams Jr? Are all his rowdy friends going to come over and bust some ghosts tonight? Or is he 'Son of the Streak'?

Ray Parker Jr, dipstick. Ugh. Boo the 'biggest idiot ever' guy.

[CaptHayfever]

I actually like the Eagles; I think Big Lebowski just made it "cool" to hate on them. That's not the fault of the movie, though.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

I think I can name four songs by them. 'Peaceful Easy Feeling' and 'Hotel California' are ass. 'Take it Easy' is acceptible. 'In the City' is hype (possibly because it doesn't sound like the others?).

I mean, the Eagles may be hated because of 'The Big Lebowski'; or perhaps the Dude hates the Eagles because the Eagles are pretty lame. Chicken and egg, man.

Oh, don't mistake me, I don't doubt there are poseurs who claim to despise the Eagles just because their cthonic stoner-god commands it, but don't let's discount people's ability to think the Eagles are weak mom music completely of their own volition.

...

...

...

I don't want to hate the Eagles; the Eagles force me to hate them! Because they suck!

I want to like the Eagles! They're only called the friggin Eagles, aren't they? (*'gee boo, would eagles happen to be your favourite animalz evor?' 'why yes, as a matter of happenstance, they are! would you believe it?'*) With a name that rad, they should be the best band in the universe! And so what, it's my fault that they're merely the crummy pointless middle-ground between CCR and Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Alabama, and the Charlie Daniels Band?!? Should I not have had high expectations of a band that durst make proud claim to ride the high places by virtue of their very name?

I'm not the bad guy, here!

[Booyakasha]

'Girl Genius', like, both the comic and the novels, gets downright spooky on occasion.

Foremost example off the top of my head is during V.8-----'Chapel of Bones', when the Torchmen appear. It's kind of scary. The buildup is tremendous. Castle Heterodyne recognises Agatha, and smash-cut to the imposter's airship. Every lamppost in Mechanicsburg suddenly erupts in a pillar of flame, and one old airman knows what's coming, and he freaks. 'Get us out of here! We're all gonna die!' And then the ornamental gargoyles sat atop every lamppost, they activate all at oncet, their wings snapping out audibly in frightening unison, and they draw their flaming lances, and they take flight, spiralling up into the sky...

...trust the old evil Heterodynes to make their streetlights the stuff of nightmares, man. Gods below.

[EDIT: ...sometimes the evil is funny. Remember in V.6 during the Battle of Balen's Gap, when the water barrel sprouts legs and a whole bunch of arms wielding axes and hay-forks, stalking towards Wulfenbach dudes, and it starts playing 'Roll Out The Barrel'? That was a stitch. I can't blame the Wulfenbachs for retreating. That certainly ain't my idea of a barrel of fun.

Agatha's a psycho, man. I love it.

[EDIT2: Ahahahaa! Agatha and her homies quite literally got the blues on the run! I didn't see it before this moment (don't even know if it was an intentional joke, but it wouldn't surprise me). Those dang Foglios, man. Haha. I swear, you have to watch 'em every second.

[EDIT3: I love when Agatha 'gets it right' in V.13. I mean, she's gotten it right so much so far, but she seems to be the first spark who gets some gigantic bugaboo to back down, and she does so by rebuking it intelligently. Clearly the snot-monster wants to do frankenstein 'conquer your dad' Oedipus stuff, and Agatha tells it she's not its creator and she does not command its loyalty or obedience, so it just wanders off.

Like, is genre-savvyness a new spark-power? Is she gonna break the fourth wall next? If so...fifty gold on me! Rowr!

[pacman000]

Yahoo Answers is closing, so I’ll complain about Quora.

Quora is a nice site, it really is, but you can’t view their archive of questions w/o an account. I don’t want an account just to read, even if it’s free. That bugs me.

[CaptHayfever]

I hate that I get notifications for how many views my answers get. That's not useful information unless Quora's gonna start paying me.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

You know...I really love Star Trek. The original one from the sixties will always be the favouritest, but I like TNG almost as much.

So can I just oncet get a 'holla!' from other people who hate that garbagey worthless crumbum Wesley Crusher.

I want more Tasha Yar! And, like, is there a Dr. Pulaski poster to be had? Ohhh, man, I like Dr. Pulaski. Sarcastic, hard as nails, seen it all and then some. Reminds me of Bones, man. That's my doctor on the Enterprise-D. Beverly Crusher can go sit on a block of dry ice and chill out her obvious boner for Picard-------I like the tough middle-aged no-nonsense broad who's divorced three times. I'd drink with that chick, not drink over that chick, ya know?

[Deku Tree]

I've been watching more Star Trek lately, and TNG specifically. Haven't seen most of the show, but I've seen enough now that I'm pretty sure I don't like Dr. Pulaski. Seems like she's got an unearned sense of superiority.

[Booyakasha]

That's cool. We don't all gotta like the same stuff. I assumed I was in the minority, inasmuch as most people don't even remember Pulaski.

Is there a Dr. Pulaski action figure? Must remember to investigate further.

[EDIT: Today at Lost World of Wonders, I was pawing through the bin of discount action figures, and they had a TNG action figure of Bones. Bones in TNG, as a 137-year-old man. I didn't buy it, and now I kind of wish I had. It isn't every dang dingdong dilly of a day you get a chancet to own the stupidest thing ever.

...what madman created this? Did they imagine it just flying off the shelves? What child growing up in the late eighties would save up his allowance to buy it? 'Myahahahah! It is I, 137-year-old McCoy! Eat fist, Spider-Man! (*punches Peter Parker's torso off*)' I wanna know.

[Deku Tree]

Mostly Pulaski was rude to Data, I think.

That's an amazing toy. I haven't seen the TNG episode with Bones. Saw the one with Scotty and the Dyson sphere, though. Giving lessons to Geordie on how to under-promise and over-deliver and all.

[Booyakasha]

^Haha, I love that one.

Bones is in the pilot----------good old 'Encounter at Farpoint'. Admiral McCoy made a point of personally inspecting the medical bay on the Enterprise-D before its shakedown cruise. Gets a cute little scene wherein Data escorts him to the shuttlebay (even at 137, Bones hates getting transported, and like who's going to tell an admiral he can't borrow a shuttlecraft if he wants?) At any rate, it's kind of a nice 'passing-the-torch' sort of thing, having one of the moldy-oldies there at the word 'go'. Kirk or Spock would have been a little blatant (nevermind that they both show up eventually anyway). Bones was kind of the perfect choice. He's already so old and grumpy and crotchety that turning him up to 137 was pretty much just a matter of makeup.

...Bones was always my favourite guy in TOS. Kind of the humanest guy you ever saw, you know? I mean, I like the whole pile of them goons, but Bones was the favourite.

[Deku Tree]

You watch any of the new biz on CBS All Access? I thought "Picard" was kind of dumb, but I liked "Discovery" a lot more than I expected to. Captain Pike is in it after the first season, and he feels really similar to Kirk.

[Booyakasha]

I kind of swore off new Trek after the first episode of 'Enterprise'. It was below 'Voyager'-quality, and that's a low-swinging bar.

[EDIT: I really liked the stupid Abrams reboot, even the even stupider sequel, but it didn't feel like Star Trek. It felt like...I don't know, like every dun-dun-dunh action movie from the last twenty years. It's like JJ Abrams never watched Star Trek in his life. Wanted to just make 'Action Movie: Now Including Sci-Fi!' for morons. I liked it for a minute, and then I felt hot hot shame.

[Booyakasha]

So there's a lot of things to not like overly much from 'Watchmen (2009)', and one of the big ones is how the studio pared down Zak Snyder's cut of Hollis Mason's last stand for the theatrical cut.

That sequence was pure art, man. Hollis dusting off the dukes and then dusting off some punks, and it cutting to a first-person view of him punching nazis and Dick Tracy villains and boogermen throughout, like he did back in the day--------that pulled the heartstrings, man. Old man tearing it up as a last hurrah. I won't ever call Zak Snyder a great or even good filmmaker, but he can do emotional stuff when the mood takes him and he feels like exerting an effort.

I actually think the director's cut of that scene is an improvement on the book version. Blasphemous, I know. Get out the iron maiden if you have to.

[Sim Kid]

Can we stop trojan-horsing mediocre romantic comedies and Sitcoms as if they're adaptations of animated properties?

look we get it. It's much cheaper to have people in costumes or makeup onscreen than CGI characters. But why're you calling the movie something like Tom and Jerry if the primary focus is on this random girl who lied on her resume to get a job as a wedding planner? Why is this movie called "Rocky&Bullwinkle" if the primary focus is on Boris&Natasha? And if the movie is about Alien vs. Predator, why's this some random Science Fiction film marketed as if it's Alien vs. Predator?

[CaptHayfever]

^^Overall, it's a pretty good movie. Not great, but good. Baffling that anyone would see it & think the same thing should be done with Superman, though.

^Amen.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

^I mean, don't get me wrong-------I like the movie. Liked it enough to see it twice (perhaps thricet?) in-theatre. It's a good story, and it's mostly well stylishly told. I just hate that the studio saw all the things that were wrong and chose to shove one of the cool things under the bus. That irks me.

[EDIT: Man alive. That opening sequence is kind of perfect. Like what better way to establish an alternate universe continuity, and with 'The Times, They Are a-Changin' underscoring it. Unnf. Maybe Zak Snyder secretly is a good filmmaker.

[EDIT2: I won't champion Nixon, but the movie and comic make him a monster. I don't like that. I don't like it at all.

[EDIT3: Is it stupid as hell to no one else that girls don't wear masks? I mean, I'm not asking for a full cowl or hood, but these chicks won't even do a domino. It's just them, wearing a tankini. Gee, who is it?!?

Secret identity my entire ass.

[EDIT4: Just be yourself, if you don't want a costume. Is 'Jubilee' even an alter-ego for Jubilation Lee? Is anyone fooled? Does anyone go, 'huh, asian gal in a yeller trenchcoat. Maybe that was Dick Tracy!'

[EDIT5: ...hmmm. Babs Gordon was the only one I can think of who masked up, and look what happened to her. Maybe I don't know what I'm on about. I mean, in a world where Joker or Hugo Strange or Bane can twig your identity just by studying your activities, maybe a mask is less useful than it seems.

[EDIT6: Thought of another one---------Jean Grey wore a mask. For a while. Then she switched to that weird face-buttress thing that most heroes and villains switched to in the nineties. But, like, it's not as if a mask would have helped, because her secret identity was 'Jean Grey'. Was she literally an idiot or something? What's the point of the mask if you're just you? It's stupid. I'm becoming annoyed by how stupid it is.

[EDIT7: ...that nineties cowl is really just the dumbest thing. The whole purpose of masking up is to conceal one's identity. So what do these knobs do? Make a variant of the cowl that shows off one of a person's most immediately recognisable characteristics----------hair colour and length. I mean, I realise some costumed lunatics aren't hiding at all (everyone knows Frank Castle is the Punisher, and he doesn't give frig one). And of course style trumps practicality in comics. I'm just saying, is all.

[Booyakasha]

So I'll tell you what I like unironically (occasionally I tell people I like 'MK: Annihilation, just to twist their nips--------I'm evil, it's what I do)---------I like 'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom'.

Raiders was the forerunner. Last Crusade was the best one (gospel). Temple of Doom was the Indiana Jonesest one. It was so weird and dark. I hear Lucas was goin through a hideous divorce at the time, and he was all saurkrauted and fangletoothed as a result. But, even if it isn't quite as good as the other two (two, got that?!?) flicks, it's still really good. There's lots of gross stuff, and scary stuff, and an evil nightmare cult that somehow isn't as evil as the Nazis, despite them having flayed child skins hangin up in the windows. I like Short Round a whole lot, and, yeah, Willie Scott was annoying and doofy, but would it be better if every Indy's love interest was just a cc of Marion? Shake things up. And, hey, Dan Ackroyd's in there, for like a second!

Even that old frick Ebert liked it. Called it an exemplar of the genre of 'bruised forearm' movies. Like, you see it on a date, and your squeeze grabs your forearm so hard at the scary parts, and there's soo maanny sscaarryy paartss...

Also, the music is really good. And...I mean...I like elephants.

[EDIT: Anyone who tears down Short Round can go to H. I know what an annoying garbagey child sidekick looks like, and it ain't Short Round-----------it's Anakin, or that little dipstick John Connor. Ugh. Any time someone tells me 'Terminator 2' is better than the first one, I scream silently inside, and the evil me that looks back at me from the mirror smirks. Smug bastard. I'll rip his tits off.

[Booyakasha]

Can we stop trojan-horsing mediocre romantic comedies and Sitcoms as if they're adaptations of animated properties?

look we get it. It's much cheaper to have people in costumes or makeup onscreen than CGI characters. But why're you calling the movie something like Tom and Jerry if the primary focus is on this random girl who lied on her resume to get a job as a wedding planner? Why is this movie called "Rocky&Bullwinkle" if the primary focus is on Boris&Natasha? And if the movie is about Alien vs. Predator, why's this some random Science Fiction film marketed as if it's Alien vs. Predator?

Oh, I'm right with you there. Them 'Transformers' movies probably would have been garbage one way or another, but it sure doesn't help that they were mainly about Sam Witwicky (at least in the first two----------I barely remember the third one, the part where Optimus blew Megatron's head off hurt my brain so much I probably talked like Grimlock for a couple days) (needless to say, I didn't progress any further in the series. Even my masochism has limits).

[Sim Kid]

I pointed out that Detective Pikachu would have been at least 20x better if it was animated.

"Yeah but we already have a dozen Pokémon movies."

Okay then. If a mediocre James Bond movie comes out, but it's animated, does it get a pass?