MCU Megathread

[CaptHayfever]

More date shuffling:
Untitled MCU Spidey 3 is being bumped to 4 months to 5 Nov 2021 by Sony. Such a delay was expected, but not yet announced until now.
To coordinate for this, Marvel Studios is bumping Multiverse of Madness all the way to 25 Mar 2022.
To give that more breathing room, Love & Thunder will release a week earlier, on 11 Feb 2022.
No other dates have changed at this time. Yes, that now puts 5 films in 2022 (but they could still potentially give up their 4th release date for that year).


Agents of SHIELD season 1, part 2:

#1.08 "The Well":
--So our tie-in is just "clean up the debris & remind everybody that Thor's an alien"?
--Directed by Riker!
--I have a good friend who actually practices Asatru; he gets really pissed about being associated with people like the villains in this episode (who actually exist, just without the magic staff).
--MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A TRUCK. BERSERKER!
--Renfield is in this too.
--For once a functional-immortal who doesn't mind outliving everyone around them.
--And now, random idiot with super rage strength versus trained martial artist with super rage strength. Wonder who's gonna win.
--That's May's secret; she's always angry.
--Ha, Coulson knows the Portland Philharmonic well.
--WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MAKING BLEEP? BERSERKER!
--Stinger: Oh, he wants some dang answers.
--This one was just as good as the last one. I'll be happy if this keeps up.

#1.09 "Repairs":
--I always stand out on my porch & just stare sadly at an angry mob wanting me dead.
--Coulson's absolutely right about neckties being nooses.
--Ok, this guest actress is *really* bad.
--I don't care for the generally insulting attitude towards people of faith in this script, either, particularly after Cap's great line about how God dresses.
--So, FitzSimmons' big "prank" was...to slightly exaggerate the story of May's nickname?
--The approaching silhouette thing with May was awesome.
--Ford is trying to "protect" Hannah by murdering anyone he thinks is slightly upset with her, & failing to understand that he's making her life worse each time. Is he selfish, or just incredibly stupid?
--May, there have to be options between "continue harassing woman" & "let yourself die."
--The agent who just said "yes, sir," & wasn't named onscreen got a name in the credits?
--I hate this episode so much. There's one really good camera shot, & it's nice to get backstory on May, but the rest...ugh.

#1.10 "The Bridge":
--What kinda jackhole refuses a rescue attempt because the guy doesn't say "sir"? Priorities, man.
--A female psychology book makes perfect sense, bros.
--The Cap line is cringey.
--Looks like the night-night juice was an even better stabilizer than Scorch's blood was.
--May is projecting some kind of irrelevant crap on Skye right now; she's literally asking about the mission & is getting berated for not thinking about the mission?
--Oh no she didn't go after Ace!
--Oh no he didn't roll on Coulson!
--Oh no they didn't all explode!
--Now it really is all coming together. We officially have a story arc!

#1.11 "The Magical Place":
--So this is the VanChat everyone's been talking about?
--Ugh, Hand is back.
--Po's voice is a chore to listen to.
--Much more realistic abuse of OnStar than in Die Hard 4.
--Oof, Skye's trying to get May in trouble. I wonder when that comes back to bite her?
--That was a creepy death.
--Raina's sales pitch is better than Po's, but she's giving up too much info herself.
--May totally played Hand & I love it.
--And Raina played herself. She got Coulson to cooperate fully, but he was so caught up in what he was remembering that he couldn't tell her anything useful anyway.
--Poor Mike.
--If we'd jumped straight from episode 2 to this, I'd go into shock from the sudden quality jump.

#1.12 "Seeds":
--Hey, skinny-dippers, ICE to meet you!
--Aww, May's working on Skye's case now.
--Don't worry, guys, Donnie just needed to CHILL out!
--Quinn should've checked tonight's forecast: a FREEZE is coming!
--Donnie now knows what's cooler than being cool: ICE COLD!
--Quinn is with Centipede too? Boom.
--A bit of a step back, but we'll see if this keeps up.

#1.13 "T.R.A.C.K.S.":
--A good old-fashioned train job, except that it's law-enforcement trying to steal from crooks.
--Criminy, May. Dat catsuit, tho.
--Simmons is going all in, & I'm here for her.
--Hi, Stan!
--Whoa, David-Copperfield grenades.
--Oh, I get it, "tracks"!
--Ward, this is why you should never pose as a customer service employee.
--The holotable gag is a nice moment to breathe.
--Ward, this is why you should never have sex.
--May has had a day.
--Ward, stop being a jealous dolt.
--Fitz & Skye have this thing locked down.
--That roboleg is forming *over* Mike's pants. Is he never gonna be able to change his pants again?
--Holy crap, Skye?
--How convenient of Quinn to leave that cryo-chamber there.
--Ok, I've heard of Deathlok.
--Back up to the quality of "A Magical Place."

#1.14 "T.A.H.I.T.I.":
--Whoa, a location card that actully includes a location!?
--Bill Paxton is on this show.
--Shepherd Book is no longer on this show.
--FitzSimmons look like they're buying a car online.
--I kinda like the guards. They seem like good fellas who just happen to have opposing goals.
--Fitz is adjusting well to the field.
--Clairvoyant played himself; he won't be able to come back here even if he knows where it is.
--Simmons definitely seems to have a type.
--So, the drug is Kree blood? That's just like how Carol was revived! Nice callback!
--This show is really starting to gel. I think we're out of the woods.
--Wait, that's a legit next-episode tease. Huh.

#1.15 "Yes Men":
--I feel so bad for this dude's new wife. At least when she finds his corpse, she'll think he was just kidnapped.
--This gang leader used to be on Numb3rs.
--Never have the words "It sucked" been more powerful.
--It's all about the President Benjamins, baby.
--Rooster's name is Duane?
--"Son of Coul" never gets old.
--Appreciate May enforcing proper firearm discipline.
--Oof, Coulson, you should've sent May instead of Ward around back.
--I'm glad Sif has at least had one romance before she started pining for Thor.
--"He might try to kill me, but he won't kill me." ~Melinda May
--Simmons may not be able to improvise, but Coulson is a MASTER.
--All these blows to the head are gonna give Fitz brain damage eventually.
--Wait, did Ward fire after the collar went on?
--"Odin" ordered Lorelei back alive? I wonder if Loki was (or even could be) compromised by her magic.
--Holy crap, May!?
--Very cheesy premise, but well-executed.

#1.16 "End of the Beginning":
--Why would an icer work on Deathlok? Icer juice is in his bloodstream!
--Congrats, Agent Skye!
--Why is Sitwell even in this episode if he's just going to leave it immediately?
--This plan is good. It probably won't work 'cause Deathlok is basically bulletproof, but it's still a good plan.
--So the Clairvoyant placed obstacles in multiple locations, as if he knew what their options were. Hmm.
--Ward, you idiot.
--Coulson & Skye just made a huge breakthrough. Fitz is also making a huge breakthrough of a different kind.
--Ugh, is Hand the Clairvoyant?

Executive summary: Great buildup of suspense as the Tahiti plot & the Centipede plot converge. Now it's time to see how the next movie tie-in plays out.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

And now the movie that put us on the path towards Captain Falcon...


Captain America: The Winter Soldier:
--Cap is not an anti-vaxxer. Life is good.
--Sitwell gets taken off of the Deathlok mission only to screw the hell up on this mission.
--The Triskelion is a very silly shape.
--"Last time I trusted someone, I lost an eye." To be fair, (a) this is true, & (b) it's still pretty badass of him to be able to spin that story into something intimidating.
--Project Insight must take place in a world that never saw Minority Report.
--Aw, Peggy.
--Robert freaking Redford is in this movie.
--Sam's VA meetings may be the closest a Disney film ever gets to addressing the sad state of veterans' affairs.
--Cops flashing their sirens to run red lights without cause. Nothing surprising.
--This assassination attempt may be the closest a Disney film ever gets to addressing racial profiling.
--The dirt-stupid AI of Fury's car is part of why I will never trust driverless vehicles.
--Wait, this was the stinger of the last AoS episode!
--The girl from Everwood is in this movie.
--If only that Tahiti base hadn't exploded, they could give Fury some Kree blood.
--I hope only 2 people in that hospital like Hubba Bubba.
--Why is Pierce calling him Nick?
--Bloody hell that elevator fight is amazing.
--There's really no reason to ever buy a Mac, even if you really need their exclusive software; a dude once recorded, mixed, & mastered an entire album in an Apple Store.
--Howard looks different again, but same different.
--The USB drive wired up to Zola's archaic tape mainframe is hilarious.
--Cap watched WarGames before Star Wars?
--Poor Renata.
--Senator Stern is every bit the sleaze he was in IM2, & now we know why he was so bent on getting an Iron suit.
--Welp, Sitwell's finally dead.
--Another awesome fight, but I don't know why gattling man didn't shoot at Steve's legs.
--Bucky's alive!?
--Director cameo: Joe Russo is not the actor Jon Favreau is.
--Skinny Steve is way less creepy this time.
--Hi, Stan!
--Hill gets some great reactions to speeches happening right next to her.
--These submerged bay doors baffle me. How is EVERYTHING down there not soaked when they open?
--So that's where Natasha went.
--And that's why Fury didn't use any of those glass eyes.
--Threatening a 2-inch hole in the sternum isn't that bad; Stark has one of those & he's doin' just fine right now.
--And now A River Runs Through Project Insight.
--Well, Cap's been in a plane crash again; I guess we'll see him in another 70 years.
--"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers."
--Mid-credit scene: Oh snap it's the Maximoffs.
--Post-credit scene: Bucky's gonna have a much easier time learning his past than Carol did, because the records aren't buried.

Executive summary: Even better than the first one. Right up there with IM1 & Avengers at the top of the heap. But if SHIELD just died, then what of its agents...?


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Season 7 starts in exactly 1 month. Let's finish up S1....


Agents of SHIELD season 1 part 3:

#1.17 "Turn, Turn, Turn":
--Crud, now which side of SHIELD just fired on Garrett?
--We know May isn't the mole because we just saw Hand order her dead, so she's probably telling the truth about talking to Fury.
--Trip is great. I hope he doesn't get killed here.
--May's story actually makes total sense, but Coulson has to be in mental anguish right now; Skye is the ONLY member of the team he actually chose.
--Cool, Fitz invented that thing Fury used to escape Bucky.
--Hand is such a freaking douchebag. She probably killed a bunch of loyal SHIELD agents just because they were trying to counter-infiltrate Hydra or take a second to understand what was happening.
--"It's suicide." "Only if I die." Yes, that's what suicide means.
--And the Clairvoyant is ALSO Hydra. Dang. It really was all connected.
--Stinger: OH DEAR LORD. That is definitely a twist.

#1.18 "Providence":
--Raina is not going to take this very well.
--Skye's been an agent for 1 day, & now she's gotta erase her existence AGAIN.
--When did Garrett have time to raid the drug supply?
--If Coulson was recruited just out of high school & then went through the academy, then he was probably mid-20s in Captain Marvel, making him mid-40s now.
--Coulson is putting up with zero crap right now.
--Dangit, we're back to "Location: Classified"?
--Ouch, almost everything the team has done this season has been undone.
--There's a lot of "Coulson" in this script & not a lot of pronouns. If I wanted Space Ghost, I'd watch Space Ghost.
--His breakdown is heartrending, but having his faith rewarded like that is a wonderful payoff.
--Patton Oswalt is on this show.
--Criminy, Brett Dalton is a good actor.
--Good build of suspense.

#1.19 "The Only Light in the Darkness":
--This guy looks like the barkeep from Captain Marvel. He also has Ron's deluminator.
--The lie detector sequence is illuminating & brilliant. Koenig should've fired.
--Darkforce is back, that's cool.
--Oh snap it's the cellist. And she's Fred.
--Simmons told a convincing lie for once!
--Poor Eric. Skye plays this really well, though.
--YOUR. HEAD. ASPLODE.
--Poor Audrey.
--Obviously, we already know about Ward at this point, but there was still a nice twist or two in this one.

#1.20 "Nothing Personal":
--Man-Thing!?
--Hill's a welcome sight.
--Ward's gonna pass out if he keeps standing over that spray.
--Skye is playing this REALLY smart.
--I feel like Talbot is our replacement not-evil douchebag for Hand.
--Suit jackets really are horribly impractical for any kind of physical motion.
--The Nazi speech is glorious. Deathlok's move is almost as good.
--Poor Lola.
--Stinger: I share your shock, Phil.
--Outstanding character work in this episode. I feel ready for a finale.

#1.21 "Ragtag":
--So this is how Ward got here, people like Garrett screwing him up.
--If that's Garrett's an idea of a reward, he's an even bigger jerk than we already knew him to be.
--Great to see Coulson the fanboy again as Trip busts out the Get Smart gear.
--Cybertek's filing system is kinda genius.
--How does Garrett already need another haircut?
--So this is how Garrett got here, people like Hand screwing him over.
--Fitz coming in clutch with the joy buzzer!
--That's YOUR serum, Raina? We know you didn't like Debbie, but c'mon.
--Poor Buddy.

#1.22 "Beginning of the End":
--The "incentives program" sounds like what's keeping Mike in line too.
--Garrett manifested those symptoms very fast.
--90 feet down isn't that bad.
--Raina's crazy even without the drug.
--FitzSimmons are having a real moment here.
--Trip is too cool for school.
--They probably could've guessed that default directive even without hacking in.
--They say this cat Fury is a bad mother...
--Is that the destroyer gun?
--Deathlok wins. Brutality.
--Coulson's plan was masterful, even without Fury's assist.
--We now have a 3rd "first Avenger".
--Patton Oswalt is on this show.
--Stinger: Why is this guy all gooey?

Executive summary: Dang. That got amazing. Seems like destroying the premise of the show is exactly what the show needed to fulfill the potential of its premise.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

The full trailer for SHIELD S7 is out, but it's 99% just the previous few teasers mashed together.
And now for something completely different. Space.


Guardians of the Galaxy:

--St. Charles is a major suburb of StL, & it has no hospitals adjacent to any large parks or open land, so this kid must've been running a LONG time before he was abducted.
--That extrapolation tool has to just be guessing.
--Is that Korath? What happened to his head?
--So was Star-Lord using a grenade as a lamp, or does the lamp just explode?
--"Go All the Way" is the biggest waste of a great intro in rock history.
--Yondu, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
--Ronan is a lot more covered-in-blood than the last time we saw him. Nice Gallagher impression.
--Hi, Stan!
--A melee-a-trois is a rare but fun delight.
--Dewey Cox? More like Dewey Cops!
--"He don't know talking good like me & you." He can't all speak it good like we do.
--Rocket's implants are truly disturbing to look at.
--I love how Thanos doesn't even seem to care that Wesley's dead.
--Oof, to say that "favorite daughter" line with Nebula standing right there.
--The Milano, eh? Sounds like Quill has a brand new life around the bend.
--Seeing different interpretations of aliens' reactions to Earth music is genuinely fascinating. The prison guard's enjoyment stands in stark contrast to Animorphs, in which Ax loathes any & all human music, yet the Ellimist began his road towards attaining godhood through jazz.
--Kirk from Gilmore Girls is in this.
--"Knowhere" is a pretty clever pun.
--How kind of the Collector to explain the rest of the franchise to the audience.
--"Give me liberty by giving me death!" ~Carina
--Gamora is in the same floating pose as Jane was in that dumb fantasy scene from Dark World. Meanwhile, Drax is about to become the Joker.
--This bunch of jacknapes standing in a circle feels like the start of something big.
--Good 3-D battle tactics on the Ravagers' part.
--"Denarian Saal" is an even faker-sounding name than "Star-Lord."
--Nebula sounds like she has a cold, but her accent has slipped through enough for me to recognize Karen Gillan's voice now.
--I was really caught up in that space battle, but where the heck did Quill get that cannon?
--A tree just made me cry, & not because of my hayfever.
--Ronan is about as thinly-written as Malekith was, but Lee Pace is trying a lot harder than Eccleston did, & it's paying off.
--Daww, Rocket is holding some of Groot's twigs!
--Yondu got trolled.
--Post-credit scene: The mighty duck.

Executive summary: This was quite the welcome curveball. Exciting, creative, visually-delightful, & weird as heck. And the soundtrack has the relevance that Garden State's soundtrack WISHES it had.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Oh yeah, I probably should mentioned that I'm linking to these posts from Grand High Productions' FB & TW, as well as the relevant MCU subreddits. Probably not getting a ton of clickthrough on that, but just in case anyone looking at stats was wondering.
Anyway, it's Netflix time.


Daredevil season 1:

#1.01 "Into the Ring":
--Same origin story as Affleck, same confessional opening too.
--That first fight is different, though.
--The blood-soaked credits are somethin'.
--"The Incident" is going to be ongoing Netflix terminology for the Battle of New York. It's a bit irksome, but we'll roll with it.
--I hope that dude's daughter doesn't get killed because he failed at killing Karen.
--The Legion of Doom here is definitely something.
--I'm surprised Matt can sleep without a sensory-deprivation chamber.
--Karen is already proving herself to be just the worst.
--"Creel vs Murdock"? This must've been where his dad trained too.
--An optimistic start undercut by a depressing epilogue. The work is not done.

#1.02 "Cut Man":
--This is just like when Roger met Mimi, kinda, sorta, a little bit.
--My dad did the same thing for me once; a sip of beer at age 5 put me off of alcohol for life.
--I can't tell if Claire is oblivious or just in denial.
--Foggy & Karen's night out is charming, but kinda irrelevant. Josie seems cool, though.
--Tequila comes with a worm, you idiots, not an eel.
--Wait, St. Agnes? Skye went through there!
--Holy crap, Claire went from denial to devious way too fast.
--Godspeed, Jack.
--The hallway fight. Accept no substitutes.
--A-plot was flawless; B-plot a complete waste of time.

#1.03 "Rabbit in a Snowstorm":
--What a great way to ruin a perfectly good bowling alley.
--If Healy here thinks revolvers never jam, he's never fired a Nerf Maverick.
--Villager f-smash.
--Our new mysterious kingpin lacks the honor of the mafia, & that is not a compliment to the mafia.
--I don't think they're on to Matt; I think they really do wanna put them on legal retainer.
--Karen could easily argue in court that the file being stolen from her does not at all constitute her disclosing anything.
--Why go through the trouble of recruiting clean lawyers & keeping them uncompromised if you're gonna rig the jury anyway?
--Foggy's opening statement was good, but Matt's closing is a work of art.
--"...the judgement is yours & yours alone." You won 2 pendants in the Temple Games; who's going first?
--Cutting BACK to the head spike was completely unnecessary.
--No wonder Fisk understands the intricacies of law so well; he used to be Det. Bobby Goren.
--Cool to see some serious legalism.

#1.04 "In the Blood":
--Origin story for Generic Russian Criminal Brothers?
--Ok, Gao makes drugs, the Russians distribute the drugs, Leland handles the money, & Fisk coordinates everyone. What does Nobu do?
--"Stranger things, right?" Ben cross-promotes other Netflix shows.
--The Russian for "three" is "three"?
--An ephinedrine shot to make Malcolm Reynolds proud.
--He's moving like a bug wearing an Edgar Wilson suit.
--Wait, it's really called "Rabbit in a Snowstorm"?
--"Don't children have that at birthday parties?" So?
--The car door decapitation. Accept no sub...oh, gosh, I'm gonna be sick.
--Now we really get to meet Wilson Fisk, & he's a mercurial terror.

#1.05 "World on Fire":
--How 'bout yours? That's the way I like it & I'll never get bored.
--"Vladimir" is a common name, Claire.
--Wesley is playing very smart.
--This car cam is giving me chills. Poor delivery guy.
--What. Dirty cops. No way. Perish the thought. How unrealistic.
--Foggy gets a win without being overshadowed by Matt.
--Turk is, as ever, the wrench in the works.
--Fisk makes a lot of speeches about improving the city, but it's all vague grandiose blather that screams "supervillain." Vanessa, who claims to already know what kind of business he's in, must have some kind of issue to want to stay with him.
--Poor other delivery guys.
--It's a trap!
--Lots of plot progression here, very exciting.

#1.06 "Condemned":
--Playing cards for an investigation is legit, but I've seen it before, not just in fiction but in reality.
--Vladimir has a very poor understanding of his situation.
--The police may be corrupt, but if there were just a bunch of virusesexplosions outside, I'd be fine with them telling me to stay in.
--"This isn't a movie." ~a TV character technically telling the truth
--Leaving the bullet in is the right move for sure. Botched removals killed Presidents Garfield & McKinley. Teddy knew this & told the doctors to leave his slug in because of it.
--"Part of something bigger"? That was Fury's recruitment speech to Coulson & Garrett!
--Fisk's threat is really obviously gonna be a self-fulfilling prophesy.
--Killing your own guy who didn't even screw up? That's cold-blooded, Gomer Pyle.
--Vladimir goes out really well.
--A powerful bottle episode.

#1.07 "Stick":
--What the hell is a Black Sky?
--Good Mets burn.
--How is Leland of all people the first person to face Daredevil & come out unscathed?
--Gotta say, I'm liking Stick right away.
--Didn't Matt say he got a discount on this apartment?
--Urich is trying to teach Karen a lot of useful things that she isn't really taking seriously & one useless thing that she is.
--Good mace burn. Props to the Fogg Machine, too.
--Come on, Matt came from the same direction those guards were facing.
--How is Matt gonna explain all this mess?
--Aw, he kept it!
--A twisted tale of complicated relationships with mentors.

#1.08 "Shadows in the Glass":
--Why even own that many cufflinks if you're never gonna wear--WAIT WHAT.
--Daredevil screwed up with Blake. He almost certainly didn't get much info, & now he's accused of even more crimes.
--Wesley's face when Fisk starts speaking Mandarin.
--Fisk's dealings with Gao stand in start contrast to his dealings with everyone else.
--Papa Fisk is (was) a real piece of work. That may be the only person Wilson ever killed who deserved it.
--But seriously, what's the point of a tiny sprinkle of scallion that's just gonna fall off anyway? Cook that stuff into the omelet!
--How do you get people to come to your press conference when they've never heard of you?
--This was Fisk's episode, & boy did he make the most of it.

#1.09 "Speak of the Devil":
--Fr. Lantom's speech on the Devil is really good.
--Explicit mention of Captain America. Take that, people who claim there are no direct mentions of movie stuff on these shows.
--So this is the episode where Nobu actually matters?
--Poor Mrs. Cardenas.
--Nobu used Selfdestruct! It's not very effective...
--Heh, "baited the hook". Nobu was using a giant hook.
--We're really going deep into the philosophy on this one, & I'm deeply enjoying it.

#1.10 "Nelson v. Murdock":
--In the sense that his eyes do not function anymore, yes, Matt is blind.
--Don't let "Hey Soul Sister" deceive you; Train is actually a really tight country-rock band.
--Foggy oughta give Matt a slapshot over this. Or they might become Bash Brothers. Heck, Matt's been out there in hockey pads.
--Oof, Mrs. Urich is slippin' same as Peggy.
--Nelson & Murdock, Avocados at Law.
--Greek girl? Hmm.
--Daredevil hasn't been half as effective against Fisk's inner circle as Fisk has been himself, & Owlsley recognize this.
--Roxxon again?
--Is that the same actress as Mama Fisk?
--Oh, right, the poison. The poison for KuzcoVanessa. The poison chosen especially to kill KuzcoVanessa. Kuzco'sVanessa's poison.
--This was the confrontation we were waiting for all along.

#1.11 "The Path of the Righteous":
--Why is Foggy in Marci's bed exactly?
--"I'll always be there..." ...just not for the next few weeks when I'll be out of town like I already said.
--Wesley is one hell of a good consigliere, but Lantom is an even better counselor.
--Crap, did Karen just get herself & Ben killed?
--Brought to you by Yoo-Hoo chocolate-based fluid.
--Did...did Matt just read the closed-captioning to figure out Melvin's name?
--Wesley did not play this one smart. See ya!
--There had to be a tipping point eventually; here it is.

#1.12 "The Ones We Leave Behind":
--Dream Kingpin is far more even-tempered than the real thing.
--Foggy thinks he's helping, bless his heart.
--Both Karen's scheme & Fisk's operation are starting to unravel.
--Sure, it's easy to keep up with a car in a city where the traffic is too think to ever drive fast & buildings are close enough together to run across the tops of.
--The sad thing is, I don't think Ellison even is on the take. He's just that much of a jerk.
--Gao's operation is the most disturbing thing on this show, & that includes that time with the car door.
--Gao used Force Palm! It's super effective!
--Brett, finally, a cop on this show Matt can trust.
--Leland did it!?
--Dangit, Karen, you did get Ben killed. At least he wasn't careless enough to get you killed too.
--This episode went poorly for everybody, good or bad.

#1.13 "Daredevil":
--Lazy episode title is lazy.
--Hi, photo of Stan as Forbush Man!
--Leland has no poker face & poor self-preservation instincts.
--It's really comforting to see Matt & Foggy reconcile after all this mess. That moreso than anything else is what's inspiring hope of a happy ending.
--If you told me 7 episodes ago that Hoffman was gonna be the key to the whole thing, I would've said "who?"
--Fisk, unless they let you get married before trial, proposing to Vanessa as you get arrested ain't gonna do jack crap do protect either of you.
--WHiH is broadcasting a live firefight? What slease!
--"15 minutes to the drop." 15 seconds would've been closer.
--Dat devil suit tho.
--What the Kingpin fails to understand is that it's possible to improve things without killing lots of people or trafficking slaves & heroin.

Executive summary: A genuine masterpiece. Daredevil's best comic stories have always been told through a layer of grit, & this captured it well. All due respect to Michael Clarke Duncan, but the cast here is just magnificent.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Gentlemen, behold! MORE SPACE!


Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2:

--Who are half the people in this production logo?
--With hair, Meredith looks a lot more familiar; I'm pretty sure she was in First Avenger.
--Kepler might write off Asgard as an asteroid, but the Sovereign planet? Ouch.
--I used to have that game.
--Smooth moves for an infant. And for a sapling.
--I saw a lot of critical & audience comments mentioning "Lake Shore Drive" as one of the more obscure selections in the film, but I heard that song on the radio all the time as a kid when my dad put on oldies. I found out later that (a) it was a regional hit here in St. Louis, & (b) James Gunn is from St. Louis.
--Gamora may not be a dancer, but Nebula is a dance-battler.
--Love that the "perfect" genetically-engineered race would all have the minds of bratty teenagers.
--Rambo Balboa is in this movie.
--Rocket's enjoying Earth music too.
--Yondu *is* going soft on Quill, but he's right that they'd have to be idiots to kill the saviors of the planet where the space cops are from.
--Ego is "no larger than [our] Moon", yet his planetary status is not in question. *coughPlutocough*
--He's a small-g god. "My Sweet Lord" indeed.
--Why does Ego have a museum of his own history with mobile dioramas?
--The mutiny scene is a deft balance of Yondu's heartbreak, Nebula's rage, Kraglin's confusion, & Rocket's compulsive mockery.
--Drax & Mantis are having a genuinely touching moment.
--Yondu emphasizes the word "prototype" when he should be emphasizing "fin."
--And now, Zoe Saldana & Karen Gillan in North by Northwest.
--Quill has to check the track listing for "Brandy". He hasn't memorized Awesome Mix 2 yet.
--Hi, Stan the Watcher!
--"So anyway, I started blasting." Quill should know better than to hassle the Hoff.
--It's too bad SHIELD got busted to bits a few months ago; otherwise they investigate this giant blob.
--Don't believe in yourself, Mantis. Believe in the Drax that believes in you.
--Ego's planetary face reveal is chilling.
--Rocket trying to get Groot to repeat a simple instruction he just heard & trying to process his making the exact same mistake twice in a row is every math teacher.
--Cool subtle detail: Ayesha's hair slowly becoming looser as she grows more unhinged throughout the film.
--He does kinda look like Mary Poppins.
--Irony: By squeezing Groot & scratching up the death button, Ego saved the Guardians.
--That 2 seconds of Quill Pac-Man was better than the entirety of the movie Pixels.
--There are a lot of genuine tearjerkers in this finale: Drax screaming for Quill, Yondu's sacrifice, Peter's eulogy, Kraglin's sorrow & joy, Rocket's self-reflection, "Father & Son".
--Credits: I am Groot--I mean, why is Jeff Goldblum here? And how did a song about this movie get onto a mixtape made in the 80s?
--Mid-credit scene 1: Where did he get the fin? Yondu's went into the funeral pyre.
--Mid-credit scene 2: Why is there a Cyberman in Stakar's crew?
--Mid-credit scene 3: Warlock? Do the Sovereign have the Soul stone?
--Mid-credit scene 4: So it's gonna be a few years before we see these guys again?
--Post-credit scene: Hi again, Stan!

Executive summary: Better than the first. Freed of having to establish its obscure protagonists, there is more room for the emotional beats that make GotG stand out among many of its peers.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Today is the 12th anniversary of Iron Man's release, & it would've been the release date of Black Widow in a COVID-free world.


Agents of SHIELD season 2 part 1:

#2.01 "Shadows":
--It's 1945, which means...Peggy & the boys! And the original 084?
--Xena & this British dude seem interesting. And there's another Mack?
--Fitz is in a bad way if he's relieved not to be hallucinating the metal flesh chunk.
--Wait, Creel? The guy Jack Murdock fought? And he's Absorbing Man or something?
--In the base's basement, a **** in a box.
--While Creel is a literal brick wall, Talbot is a metaphorical one. Luckily he's predictable.
--You great buffoons; you SAW what Creel can do.
--Dat reveal tho. Poor Fitz.
--Wow, that dude is old.

#2.02 "Heavy Is the Head":
--Hunter's got a particular sense of decorum that I've already grown to enjoy watching.
--Now that we know Simmons isn't there, Fitz's scenes are even more worrisome. Though it's cute that even he recognizes Simmons has a type.
--Creel don't look to good--Oh snap it's Raina.
--Skye, you dirty bird.
--That device was very clever.
--Oh gosh, Coulson. Well, at least you're not rambling about the secrets of the universe like Garrett did.
--Skye's dad(?) has some kinda story to tell, I'm excited to see it.

#2.03 "Making Friends and Influencing People":
--The Faustus method, eh? I guess this bit of nightmare fuel is the result of Zola's sit-down with Fennhoff.
--I've never heard this song before, but it's so freaking perfect for Simmons's situation.
--May imparting life lessons up in here.
--Don't you know Donnie's riding on the Marrakesh Express.
--If you're trying to hide from people, why would you go to the place they wanna take you?
--This dinner & debrief is really sweet. Mack helping out Fitz is sweet too.
--Bakshi's a blustering idiot; Simmons *just said* she isn't loyal to Hydra, yet he thinks she is because she didn't use the word "no." The man's as thick as a Fox News pundit.
--The main plot of the episode is Blizzard, but the real centerpiece is Fitz facing down Ward.
--Donnie, all you had to do was reach out & touch Bakshi before he finished the trigger.

#2.04 "Face My Enemy":
--The Church of Our Lady of Alien Psycho Scribbles
--I have heard Ming-Na laugh. This is not that.
--Phil, you are a dancer, & May is not. You need to find a woman who is pathetic, like you.
--Yeah, I didn't think Talbot was THAT drunk.
--It's genuinely comforting that Fitz is recognizing Simmons is a hallucination.
--Documentary footage of May vs. Agent 33
--I only realized that ominous thunder was in the show because of the captions; there's a storm outside as I'm watching this.

#2.05 "A Hen in the Wolf House":
--Crap like this is why I don't drink.
--Doctor Skye's Dad needs more screentime.
--Simmons is in a bad way now. Yikes.
--Thank you, Skye, for not letting slip a misuse of "theory."
--Simmons is actually doing really well with her cover; her sadistic lab supervisor had this coming.
--Raina, that is a picture of a fish taco wrapper.
--The plot threads are already coming together & it's only episode 4 instead of episode 10!
--Mockingbird is in this show.
--I had to rewind to get a closer look at Simmons's...escape.
--FitzSimmons reunion yay!
--Bobbi's pretty tall. Mack dwarfs her.
--Hunter walks in. Jerry Springer intensifes.

#2.06 "A Fractured House":
--Nathan Petrelli here really shouldn't be talking so disparagingly about super-powered individuals.
--Oh snap it's Ward's brother.
--More of the couples' drama in this episode.
--Senator, what's a more simple enemy than literal Nazis?
--Hunter takes wonderful advantage of the fact that he's a no-name in the SHIELD/HYDRA war.
--Putting the garage in the plane seems deeply impractical since, y'know, the plane flies & the cars don't.
--Whoa, respect from Talbot.
--Guys, Coulson was being literal when he said not to give Ward one inch.

#2.07 "The Writing on the Wall":
--Coulson's into that freaky jazz from La La Land.
--Heh, she said, "It's all connected."
--I've heard of Micro.
--I could watch them hunt Ward for a while, but the scribble mystery genuinely needs to happen, & Hunter's gonna be on that bus for a while.
--These GH flashbacks are somethin' else.
--What kind of bar stocks a full shelf but only offers 2 drinks?
--But Fitz didn't lose any memories, Mack; he suffered physical neuron damage.
--Oof, Mack, too soon.
--We've already resolved the alien writing, & it's only episode 7.

#2.08 "The Things We Bury":
--Sucks to be Sen. Ward's mistress and/or wife right about now.
--PEGGY YAY.
--The doctor is cautious not to touch the diviner; he knows he isn't one of the "chosen."
--We know from "The Well" that Grant isn't lying about the well, but everything Christian is saying about Grant's character is true too. Both Wards are despicable.
--Fitz kicks some butt without even actually kicking any butt.
--Bobbi might be better as an interrogator than as a fighter.
--The flashbacks to Reinhardt/Whitehall are the most captivating part here, but the doctor is always a joy. And now we've learned how they're connected.

#2.09 "...Ye Who Enter Here":
--Trippy dream is trippy. More of Skye viewing Coulson & May as her parental figures.
--It's cute how much Mack wants to tinker with Lola.
--Patton Oswalt is on this show.
--FitzSimmons need to stop avoiding each other; it's killing my heart even moreso than my poor diet is.
--I like that they keep track of the fighting skill levels of the various characters. An opponent who an injured May struggled to defeated is still more than match for a healthy Skye.
--Sounds like Raina's talking about mutants, but fl;dfa--the Kree? So Skye is connected to the Kree somehow? Is that why she didn't go crazy from the Tahiti drug?
--WHY WOULD YOU TOUCH THE THING, MACK?

#2.10 "What They Become":
--Dat fancy flying tho.
--Ugh, I've heard of that fungus; it's deeply disturbing.
--Crazy doctor Cal really hates this guy who he's given tons of help to.
--Yes, of course you've heard that song before, Skye; it's "Bicycle Built for Two". It's in dozens of cartoons.
--Theta protocol? You're gonna measure an angle of rotation?
--Skye & Cal do not hesitate on those guards. Nicely done.
--"Probability rate" is redundant, Jemma.
--Cal, you were running straight towards a man with a gun leveled at you; what did you think would happen?
--Skye does not hesitate on Ward. Nicely done.
--Poor Trip.
--Raina is looking way past cool.
--"Are you seeing this?" Are you?

Executive summary: No more waiting half a year to resolve plotlines; this new season is all about keeping things moving. There are still a few moments of cheese here & there, but now they're outliers compared to back in the opening of season 1.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

In a COVID-free & Cernovich-free world, yesterday would also have been the release date of Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3.


Jessica Jones season 1:

#1.01 "AKA Ladies Night":
--The opening sequence has me already. Great tone-setting for noir.
--Well, dang. That's a start.
--G-G-G-GIA! Ritter jumps from one detective show to another.
--Gritty PI, sleazy lawyer banging the secretary, junkie neighbor. Love it. Just wonderful. I'm in already, & that's with me pretending not to know what's gonna happen.
--Sweet Christmas, that dude looks like Luke Cage.
--Classy dame & her husband walk in.
--Real lifestyle vloggers understand that cuts are mandatory because not everyone will consent to be in your video.
--Lift a car, super strength, check.
--I thought Tony Stark with the reporter was gonna be the steamiest scene in the franchise until now.
--The Alias comic had a lot of art shifts to impart different tones & flashbacks & such; the altered lighting & camera work achieve the same effect here.
--Madeleine Albright? Trish, it's early 2015; Albright's been out of office since Dubya Bush's inauguration.
--Purple is my favorite color, so having it so powerfully associated with our heroine's trauma is more than a bit jarring.
--The classic bonk-head-on-doorway gag.
--Holy effing crap what kind of sick prick would make somebody do that.

#1.02 "AKA Crush Syndrome":
--The police detective is being needlessly hard on Jessica; why would you think she did this?
--Some kind of jumping-related power, check.
--Hogarth has a point; it's basically impossible to prove mind-control without a mind-reader, a confession from the mind-controller, or letting more people get mind-controlled.
--It doesn't matter if your marriage is falling apart or if your spouse hired a PI; if you lie to people about whether you're married so you can sleep with them, then YTA.
--Ha, "Pooh Bear," I get it.
--Buses don't turn that way.
--There's the date used to anchor this season; it's been a year since 20 Jan 2014.
--Bloody hell, Trish is an idiot.
--Don't ask somebody trying to help you to kill you.
--Well, we just learned something about Luke.
--I swear I've seen these lecture halls before.
--Doctor, no!
--I guess this is what they call having "cut" abs?

#1.03 "It's Called Whiskey":
--Well, dang. Good thing she's not sitting on that radiator pantsless in the middle of winter--OH WAIT.
--Makes sense that a man who lives in Harlem would identify "the big green dude" as the face of the Avengers.
--Well, dang. Good thing they did that before Jessica went to the bathroom.
--You can tell this show is fiction because the printers work reliably.
--I didn't think you could make these kind of modifications to an apartment; does Trish own the building or something?
--Well, dang. Hope these kids are being careful; this is how you make little baby Danielles.
--Even more skepticism towards mind-control, now from people who literally have powers. Loki could psychically project illusions; hundreds of people saw him do it.
--"Pay us, we give you key"? How do you expect she pay you when all her stuff is locked inside?
--Ruben quotes Avenue Q to accurately assess his sister.
--I feel really horrible for Malcom.
--Fat lot of good your training & security is if you open your door like that, Trish.
--Jessica's pursuit of Kilgrave plays out like a reverse Game of Death.
--Falling in love with the widow of the person you were compelled to kill is a pain.

#1.04 "AKA 99 Friends":
--Huh, another case.
--Simpson is gonna keep coming back because he can't accept that someone else can handle this better than he can, or that the best thing he can do to help is to leave Trish alone.
--Hogarth is such a douchebag.
--The interviews are something all right. Jessica could actually benefit from spending an evening with the legit victims--not go to every session, but just one sincere conversation.
--Some of these jumps are very high; I think Jess can actually fly.
--"the big green guy or the flag waver" is cringey. Eastman deserves it, though; she reminds me of the idiots out there yelling at nurses for supporting proper medical procedure just because some people die of coronavirus anyway.
--Don't feed this guy's ego, Trish.
--Well, I feel less horrible for Malcolm, now.

#1.05 "AKA The Sandwich Saved Me":
--Pre-abduction Jess wasn't much different, except for the paranoia.
--Trish's child-star references are an endless source of amusement. Carol Danvers served Trish Walker's role in the Alias comic, but obviously MCU Carol is a couple decades older than MCU Jessica, & she wouldn't have the same kind of baggage.
--"Guided falling" is Buzz-Lightyear-style gliding; that's darn near flight.
--Well, dang, Trish.
--The Nickelodeon-slime-green loading dock is really distracting, but the soundproof room is a nice touch. Really, both Jess & Simpson have good ideas here; they just need to get over their respective pride.
--"Superheroes wear costumes" the ones known to the public at the point of this flashback in mid-2013 wear either armor or uniforms...unless Trish just reads a lot of comics. (Shout out to Jess's "Jewel" costume appearing, but mocking it here makes a lot of sense; even in Alias, she only wore it in flashbacks.)
--Ok, nobody predicted Kilgrave would hire non-compelled security. Plan would've worked otherwise.
--I'm really proud of Malcolm making the right call here. Soon he'll be able to morph again.

#1.06 "AKA You're a Winner!":
--2-7 off-suit is statistically the worst hand in hold-em. Slim odds at a straight or flush, & anything you do manage to get will be low-ranked.
--Malcolm, elves do exist; they're just aliens.
--Hope's predicament is loaded with pathos & controversy, so I have a wonderful idea called "let's not debate this."
--TIL who Carl Icahn is.
--"I'll give you a ride." ...& also a trip on the motorcycle.
--Pam may have the patience of a saint, but her "I'm Catholic" bit rings pretty hollow when she's still adultering.
--Well, dang. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
--Kilgrave is purposely not compelling this guy. What's the angle?
--Charles Wallace? Like from A Wrinkle in Time?
--"'Confessions' by Usher" by Jessica Jones. Knowing how Jess & Luke are in the comics, this is as heartrending as FitzSimmons being separated.
--Hogarth, you are revolting.

#1.07 "AKA Top Shelf Perverts":
--"'Your House' by Alanis Morissette" by Kilgrave.
--Jessica was seriously considering letting that train hit her. If she had, she wouldn't have seen what happened to Ruben.
--Well, dang.
--Hi, photo of Stan as Forbush Man!
--This Supermax plan is terrible, but (a) it could still work, & (b) she came up with it in a panic.
--Robyn is a tremendous pain to watch.
--"It's a small city," my butt, Dorothy.
--Is Malcolm Haitian? Or maybe Cajun?
--Brett? This doesn't look like your desk.
--Jess is part of "everyone", but she doesn't seem any calmer.
--Good thing Simpson knows where Jess is, but if he hadn't lied in the first place, she wouldn't be there.

#1.08 "AKA WWJD":
--Even Kilgrave's narcissistic mind should be able to comprehend that an adult woman would decorate her room differently than she did at age 14, because *he* decorates differently than he did at that age.
--The phone call was a nice touch, especially since it confirms Kilgrave does not know Simpson is watching him.
--She was with him for 6 months; she would be familiar with his recurring phrasing & what it meant. "I didn't tell you to kill her" doesn't apply.
--Freaky dream is freaky.
--Watermelon & cottage cheese? Seriously, Jess?
--Minor satisfaction against an annoying neighbor is hardly a trade-off for months of repeated rape. And this one isn't up for debate either; that IS rape.
--"Kevin's" origin story is disturbing, yes, but you don't get to pass your abuse on to others.
--I do appreciate the touch of Obi-Wan. This little field trip raises some very interesting ethical questions, though. Let's see how those answers play out, especially since Jess clearly doesn't share Black Widow's concepts about balancing the red in one's ledger.
--You can't break a Game Boy that easily before you have super strength; Philip probably just needed to pop the batteries back in.
--Ah, we're back to the good plans again, nice.
--Pretty sure that's a flight confirmation, nice.
--First of all, HOLY CRAP. Secondly, is he not completely unconscious?

#1.09 "AKA Sin Bin":
--It's deeply satisfying to see Kilgrave conscious & powerless.
--Hogarth is not taking Kilgrave OR Wendy seriously enough.
--Speaking of control, Pam actually has some for a change.
--The professor on the phone is really mean for somebody who has a chance at catching the people who ran off with his grant money.
--What Jessica says to Malcolm here is genuinely sweet.
--"Give me a red." Holy crap, he's Nuke.
--This plan would actually have worked if the shock switch hadn't been sabotaged by a power-hungry a-hole. At least Clemons believes it now.
--She didn't let go.

#1.10 "AKA 1000 Cuts":
--And now Hogarth finally understands what the hell she's done, just too late.
--Virus is actually pretty close to the comics: Zebediah Killgrave is not telepathic; he emits a pheromone. Genuine telepaths are immune to him, as well as Jessica (thanks to a psychic shield installed by Jean Grey), Daredevil (because of his unique sensory perception), & a few exceptionally strong-willed people.
--Ugh, Wendy did not deserve to get dragged into this.
--Heh, "clearance Clemons".
--Poor clearance Clemons.
--Poor Wendy. This is why you don't get glass tabletops with sharp corners. Poor Pam, too, while we're at it.
--We really don't need Robyn right now. Or ever again. Too bad she's still alive.
--And poor Hope. This episode really thins out the cast.

#1.11 "AKA I've Got the Blues":
--I just realized Rachael Taylor sings "It's Patsy", which means Trish sang in her deep adult voice as a 14-year-old.
--Robyn finally realizes what kind of show she's on.
--The flashbacks are really helping me understand how much of a threat Dorothy was/is, as well as why Jess & Trish trust each other so much.
--The truck collision was necessary to maintain stakes a little longer. We've seen Jess's detective prowess at work; we know she could normally track somebody down very quickly, & Kilgrave will not win the confrontation when she does. Now, though, she's injured, in shock, & sleep-deprived. (This is also why she doesn't just break Simpson in half when he goes after her.)
--Simpson was already unnerving, but the unnatural stutter he's developing adds an extra layer to it.
--The recovering drug addict really didn't need to be taking a pill that she doesn't know what it does.
--Malcolm brings all the pathos.

#1.12 "AKA Take a Bloody Number":
--It's the little things. Luke is obeying Kilgrave's commands in the flashback, but clearly not totally onboard like the other victims; his specific powerset would in fact make him more resistant to a virus than other people.
--IGH? In a franchise that can't use mutants yet, "Inhuman Growth Hormone" would make a lot of sense as a stand-in for MGH.
--"Flat rate JFK"? That's some bullcrap, man.
--This is the heartbreaker fight right here.
--Behind-the-scenes trivia: The working title of this episode was "AKA Jewel & the Power Man", which is actually a much better title, but it would've instantly spoiled what would happen.

#1.13 "AKA Smile":
--The hospital sequence is one of the creepiest moments on this show, hands down. If not for Claire's intervention & speedy escape, the series ends here & Luke's show never happens.
--I wonder how he's gonna kill these dudes whose apartment he hijacked. He basically already told us how he would do in Albert.
--The headphones were a brilliant touch, as was "it's Patsy!"
--This final showdown is tense & terrifying & genius. Smile, you jackhole.
--Dat zoom out tho.

Executive summary: Another masterpiece from the Netflix realm. Tennant steals the show, but again, the ensemble is strong (save for Robyn). The show draws me in so much that I could've binged the whole thing without remembering to type a single comment.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

These posts are starting to catch up to what I've watched. I'll probably have to space out the entries more after this week.


Agents of SHIELD season 2 part 2:

#2.11 "Aftershocks":
--We open on bargain-bin Nightcrawler learning how to stand in one place.
--Skye being in biohazard quarantine is hitting hard right now.
--Poor lab guy didn't have any rings.
--Mack's been great at helping Fitz recover, but now he understands what Fitz is recovering from.
--Oh, look, it's every single distracted driving commerical ever.
--Simmons is being irrational.
--Bakshi is so dumb it's hilarious.
--For once I actually feel bad for Raina.
--FITZ SAID THE THING.
--Coulson just chessmastered almost all of Hydra's leadership to death.
--Fitz is being too dang wholesome.
--Mack is up to some shenanigans, & I don't think it's therapy.

#2.12 "Who You Really Are":
--Speaking of shenanigans, Sif has a bit of a...blindspot regarding her past right now.
--Ope, that's a Kree. Speaking of Kree, I was just thinking about how Coulson must've had his past memories of the Kree erased after his resurrection.
--May's crush on Thor from S1 is intact.
--Another one for Animorphs fans: Compare Sif, with only memories of her school education, to Ax, who remembers everything but his school education.
--Why is Bobbi analyzing the truncheon instead of Fitz?
--VIN-TAK SAID THE OTHER THING.
--For an ad-libbed group fight plan, it worked pretty well.

#2.13 "One of Us":
--So, she's "gifted" because she glued knives to her fingers?
--Ideal grilled cheese: lightly butter the inside of the bread, use multiple cheeses, nothing French.
--Oooh, that's May's ex? I'm as excited as Skye is.
--Angar's face is deeply troubling. The falling birds are a great & disturbing touch.
--The carp is Mack & Bobbi's deal? Coulson's getting suspicious, & they're just gonna drive Hunter to him.
--Cal's little legion of doom here is actively threatening hostages, so it's very jarring to try framing Andrew's POV of "how dare they fight powered people" as making any dang sense.
-"The real SHIELD" my butt.

#2.14 "Love in the Time of Hydra":
--Ha, "pumpkin" pancakes. Good one, Agent Honey Bunny.
--Weaver's back! And Jaime Escalante!
--Coulson & Skye's father-daughter thing is the core of the show.
--Talbot's anger is justified for a change.
--The cabin is actually a really good idea.
--Hiding out on a boat for a year doing nothing while Hydra runs rampant is a bad idea.
--Edible Arrangments are kinda weirdly bitter.
--I'm not gonna be upset when Calderon is killed or imprisoned at the end of the season.
--That is way too much scarring on 33 for what May did to her. Still looks better than Zuko's scar in the Airbender movie.
--I'm pretty dang happy about what's happening to Bakshi, too.

#2.15 "One Door Closes":
--Nice. It's a flashback, so Lawless gets to return.
--Mack, you can't fool a guy that savvy forever.
--The gloves give me the heebie-jeebies. Are they supposed to knock Skye out or something?
--Gordon is reminded me of Stick, oddly enough.
--Gordon, how can you know all this from her saying "I feel like bees."
--Bobbi got knocked out by Simmons; that's gotta be embarrassing. I hope they don't plan to interrogate her; not sure what they'll do if that Mockingbird don't sing.
--Yeah, Fury did keep a lot from the World Council, because they made stupid decisions like nuking NYC. Fury also didn't come up with Project Insight. Gonzales has absolutely terrible information.
--May like a boss.
--These guys were told to use icers. That gunshot was a bullet, & so is the piece Calderon pulled.
--I dunno how he did it, but Hunter got the award for most heartwarming moment of this episode.

#2.16 "Afterlife":
--It's always creepy when somebody falls unconscious & then wakes up in different clothes.
--Seven agents down? I saw *two.*
--"We would've preferred to be invited guests"? Coulson just said he was TRYING to find you to invite you. Gonzales's massive stockpile of misinformation & selective interpretations is infuriating. I see why they got Olmos to play him; they needed an actor that good to sell this bullcrap.
--If Gordon's the only way in & out of Afterlife; they is everyone just trapped there forever if something happens to him?
--I like Chicago-style pizza, but not exclusively.
--"We don't use it anymore" was such a transparent lie, Lincoln; just say someone else is in there. And there are only 2 types of electrical charge.
--Jiaying is interesting. I want more of her & less of "Real SHIELD".
--Tide's turning. Deathlok's back. FitzSimmons are back together...mentally. Dat sandwich tho.

#2.17 "Melinda":
--Well, dang. I mean, we know what the episode is about anyway from that title, but still.
--"7 years ago" at this point is 2008. Looks like it took Fury quite a while for his initiative to gain traction, a bit over a decade.
--Bobbi, black-bag operations are *worse* than a funding mystery.
--Jiaying's lessons are so much better than Gordon's vague clichés or Lincoln's literal nonsense.
--This is a great emotional beat for Skye & a strong performance from both actresses, but it's not a reveal for the audience; we already put those pieces together in Whitehall's & Cal's flashbacks in the first half of the season.
--Seeing May & Coulson back in the day is kinda fun & cool--wait, did I say fun & cool? I meant tragic & traumatizing. My bad.
--If stopping Katya was your responsibility, Jiaying, they why didn't you?
--Skye is a year older than she thought, & 5 years older than Chloe Bennet is.

#2.18 "The Frenemy of My Enemy":
--That look. Jiaying is totally gonna betray Cal & doesn't care what he does to anybody else afterwards. There's an ever-increasing implication that the Inhumans literally couldn't give less of a crap about anyone else.
--At least Bobbi is getting the idea that they need to stop attacking each other.
--Why would they think cutting a computer open with a laser would help crack it?
--This is the most mysterious Ward's ever been. I'm genuinely confused what his objective is, other than just knowing it isn't settling down & starting a family with 33.
--Does anybody like Funyans, Cal?
--Even the people WITH SECRET POWERS are being skeptical about psychic powers?
--Skye & Coulson both have pretty decent plans, & Cal genuinely wants to bond, but Jiaying's & Gonzales's respective paranoia are gonna make everything suck, especially once Ward pulls the betrayal that we all expect.
--They were THAT close!?

#2.19 "The Dirty Half Dozen":
--I'm glad Lincoln is finally wising up.
--Jiaying, there are options BETWEEN "you can't go at all" & "I send idiot boy after you."
--Why is Hydra so confused about how Deathlok works? They made him.
--That Sonic joke was way past cool.
--Simmons is sneaking onto the mission to assassinate Ward, so let's get ready to mourn Simmons.
--So glad nobody's letting Ward get away with his excuses.
--Poor the Bus.
--Mike's got a very solid sense of humor.
--Skye's oner firefight. Accept no substitutes.
--So Gonzales is the one really obsessed with collecting powered people, & he's just attributing his crap to Coulson.
--Also loving Coulson twisting the trust knife into Gonzales with spoiling that Fury's alive right before getting a call from Hill & activating the Avengers to go chase List in eastern Europe.

Executive summary: All this "the real SHIELD" nonsense is annoying & eats up screentime from the Ward plot & the Inhuman plot, both of which are much more interesting. But at least both of those ARE much more interesting.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

In the news: No news is good news. A lot of actors are doing charity livestreams & stuff. So yeah.


Avengers: Age of Ultron:
--We open on the Avengers chasing List in eastern Europe. Dat team up shot tho.
--Nonviolent barricade robots. Nice to see Stark thinking responsibly.
--Oh, look, it's Mia Doucett & Kick-silver.
--Tony's vision: Obviously he's still working out that PTSD from before, but why is Clint just sitting there?
--LLCT. Ladies love cool Thor.
--These holographic representations of Jarvis & Ultron are utterly meaningless.
--I see they found a way to justify Paltrow & Portman wanting to stay the hell away from Ike Perlmutter.
--Brooklyn wasn't hit like Manhattan was by the invasion; rents are still high there.
--Hi, Stan!
--Let's addresss the elephant in the room: Nat & Bruce. It's a weird pairing, sure, but I actually think it's portrayed very sweetly, & it's not like it's overwhelming their role in the plot or anything.
--Hawkeye plays drums. I knew I liked him.
--Oh, that hammer twitched.
--Little Pinocchio Ultron here is pretty darn creepy, except for his silly metal lips.
--Klaue is a lot of fun. He didn't die, so I hope we get more of him.
--"I think you're confusing peace with quiet." No, YOU'RE confusing quiet with stopping-mass-murder.
--Doesn't matter how fast you are, still not worthy.
--Thor's vision: Why does Hel look like just a really pretentious party? At least he understands what's happening to him.
--Cap's vision: Tragic, but not surprising.
--Nat's vision: Definitely an evolved version of what we saw in Dottie's flashbacks on Agent Carter.
--Hawkeye's vision: n/a. My man.
--Veronica, as in "Betty &". Clever.
--Jinkies! Hawkeye's married to Lauren from Boy Meets World!
--I love the whole farm sequence. It maintains tension & builds character while still giving the audience time to breathe.
--The monster line is awkward & could've used a revision, but the meaning is still very clear: she thinks herself a monster because she was built up to care about nothing but killing, not just because she can't have babies.
--"I'm not the director of anybody." It's true; he's not.
--The Nexus is a ridiculous idea; if every byte of internet data went through one city, hacking would be way easier & communication would be way slower.
--Was the "frisbee" limited thinking, or was it 1940s technology trying to manipulate the strongest metal on Earth?
--The Norn cave is painfully awkward. I get that the Avengers need to learn about the Infinity Stones, but Thor already knows about them; he can just tell them anyway.
--"Humans will have every opportunity to evolve"...as long as they do so in the next couple days, right?
--The Avengers finally catch on that they only disrupt Ultron by engaging all of his nearby bodies.
--Why show the end of the tracks if the train has already jumped the tracks?
--Much criticism has been made of Natasha being captured, but she wasn't grabbed like some damsel in distress; she took a calculated risk & knew something could happen to her. She was not denied agency, & she was able to help the others find Ultron's base.
--Hawkeye getting one over on Quicksilver makes me happy.
--Paul Bettany is now actually IN this movie.
--Tony has used Jarvis for ages, & it's based on a real person; why would he have so many replacement AIs to choose from?
--Hawkeye's speech to Wanda makes me even happier.
--Ah, Theta Protocol. There's your secretly-hidden-away tax dollars at work.
--Why did they stop shooting Ultron Prime when they were about to destroy him!?
--Wanda, come on, you said you would guard the switch.
--Hulk need some Hulk-time.
--Vision's talk with the final Ultron body really ends the fight on a powerful note.
--Credits: This statue of the battle is really something special.
--Mid-credit scene: How lazy do you have to be that you need your gauntlet placed at an angle so you don't have to pick it up to put it on? And how simultaneously picky do you have to be to not just store it at that angle all the time anyway instead of having to build an elaborate lift system for it?

Executive summary: This is Hawkeye's movie; he has most of the best parts, & he manages to avoid all the bad parts. You can really see the seams on this film, though; it's very easy to tell what Whedon wanted to do & what committee-driven stuff he was forced to do. (P.S. My wife wants it to be known that this is one of her favorites.)


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

I should probably start numbering the entries here like I do everywhere else. This is part 23 of what will be 61-63 parts (depending on how some small things get grouped & whether I do SHIELD S7).


Agents of SHIELD season 2, part 3:

#2.20 "Scars":
--The Koenigs have a sister? Is she Patton Oswalt too?
--Ugh, Gonzales, you Olmos gave a genuine compliment.
--Jiaying thinks SHIELD wants to use the freaky rock against them, but SHIELD doesn't know what it even is. SHIELD thinks the Inhumans want to use the freaky rock against them, but the Inhumans just wanna destroy it. Poor communication kills.
--I literally never heard of Muscle Milk before this episode.
--Bobbi & Hunter's reconciliation process reminds me of the song "One Week."
--Ok, we know Raina's visions are real, but now it looks like she's using them to grab power, & it's blowing up in her face.
--Ok, the season's almost over, & we're introducing a new plot thread with Agent 33?
--Sending Mr. Alien-Bad to the pow-wow with the alien-empowered people with a gun was a terrible idea, even if Jiaying hadn't been planning a trap.
--Is 33 bleeding through the mask?

#2.21 "S.O.S. part 1":
--Jiaying opens by firing on her own people, so that's nice.
--Fitz is almost completely back.
--Ward is a sadistic SOB, & we did not need to see that closeup.
--Holy crap, Jiaying's a vampire.
--33 blames Bobbi for giving up a safe house she wasn't even supposed to be at? Lame.
--Cal is making this episode much more enjoyable.
--Did freaking Raina just save everybody?
--Heh, "night-night gun" callback.
--Heh, "honey bunny" callback.
--Interesting, Multiple-Woman here seems to be aware of where all her clones are, but not what they're doing.
--I'm surprised Hyde Cal can't just move the car.

#2.22 "S.O.S. part 2":
--Coulson & Cal finally have the conversation that they've needed this whole time.
--Bobbi took that like a champ.
--Poor Kara. Screw you, Ward.
--Mack learned something today; that's comforting.
--Andrew is a recurring character now, eh?
--About dang time, Simmons.
--"I'm the guy who kills Gordon." He's not gonna axe you again.
--Skye's holding out a lot better than Agent Redshirt did.
--There's that Little League action, Phil; we're gonna miss y--HOLY CRAP HE CUT OFF HIS HAND.
--Cal, you're a champ too. Pity about your brain.
--Is Ward the new head of Hydra?
--Warriors that are secret, got it.
--"Health benefits that will change your life" indeed. Of course, this'll be happening to more than just these pills; obviously seafood & ocean currents will be affected as well.
--Stinger: Aww, FitzSimmons are finally gonna--WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED.

Executive summary: With the dumb SHIELD schism out of the way, the show was able to stick the landing. This was the first official two-part episode (& honestly, it was really a three-part episode), & they utilized the extra time well, even though the movie tie-in was kinda clunky compared to the past two tie-ins.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

So, I started the rewatch just over a week before I began posting about it, but I'm about to catch up with myself in a couple days. Once that happens, expect more spacing between these posts. That won't mean I'm stopping, just that I can't watch 10-13 episodes a day.


WHiH Newsfront season 1:

#1.01 "WHiH Newsfront Promo":
--Hey, it's the reporter Tony banged in IM1; I was wondering when she'd get a spinoff!
--That is Clueless-era Paul Rudd.

#1.02 "Top Stories":
--Sounds like the SEC got paid off. Stranger things have happened.
--Also sounds like VistaCorp owns WHiH.

#1.03 "2012 VistaCorp break-in security footage...":
--How did the cameras pick up all the ambient noise outdoors but not anything Lang did?
--ONEPRcentR, nice.
--The smash cut to the car is hilarious. "ONEPR¢R" is a nice touch.

#1.04 "Wired Insider Interviews Darren Cross":
--So, did Wired pay for product placement, or did Marvel pay for licensing?
--That's a very valid question; how do you make a profit if you provide neither goods nor services?

#1.05 "Scott Lang Interview":
--If it was just a cover for a heist, why would he give almost all of the money away?
--"Reported on" Tony Stark, you say?

Executive summary: We've seen WHiH before, in the backgrounds of the shows & movies; their broadcasts have always been very sleazy-cable-sensationalist-news, like Fox or CNN. Makes sense Everhart would end up here after Vanity Fair kicked her to the curb; her bias against do-gooders like Stark & Lang makes her a perfect fit for this place.


Ant-Man:
--Howard looks same-different again.
--Scott, I have a master's degree too, & I spent 3 years in a crap job like that afterwards without a prison record. Baskin-Robbins don't play.
--All the bank records online? Yeah, the SEC definitely got bribed.
--That haircut looks hilarious on Tauriel there.
--Why would you need a whole new model for your building if you're just changing the sign?
--This child is precious & I just wanna keep her safe forever.
--Scott committed ONE crime, served his sentence, & would easily hold down a legitimate job if he didn't have his conviction weighing him down. Maggie, who has another source of income in her fiancé already, is being unreasonable.
--Yeah, sure, kill a guy for saying "I don't like your idea."
--Luis's stories are a delight. From the little side-tangents that establish his personality to the characters therein lip-syncing his narration.
--Fury pulled off the fingerprint stunt with just tape, but that was 20-year-older tech.
--Dat engineering tho.
--Cross, you have to *change* something before the next iteration of the experiment.
--This rave has some of the ugliest shoes I've ever seen.
--SNL's Garrett Morris is in this movie.
--There's no way he got that suit on in 10 seconds.
--40 years prior to 2015 is 1975, but he might be rounding, so let's just go with "in the 70s". I like that Hank correctly uses "discovers" instead of "invents".
--"Affect the brain's chemistry", "turn you to goo", same thing.
--Here we have somebody as smart as Hank believing the Avengers wanted to drop a city. This is gonna set the stage for something or other going forward.
--Hank sees a bit of himself in Scott, even if he doesn't actually respect Scott; he wants Scott not to lose his relationship with his daughter like he did.
--They're saying "suit" a lot.
--I get that Hope was caught up in her grief & stuff, but how did she not realize that Hank was trying to keep her safe?
--Janet was lost 1 year before Peter Quill was abducted & 2 years before Carol Danvers was abducted.
--Obligatory Falcon cameo.
--My grandma used to have that china cabinet.
--The ant raft is very disturbing.
--I had a bad experience with ants out of a faucet. *shudders*
--Dave just did a very very brave thing.
--Cross has no poker face, & he's very comfortable selling to Nazis.
--Scott running on the model building is very similar to everyone running from the Chitauri.
--Luis goes back to evacuate the guy he tied up.
--Poor Antony.
--Dang, those Pym Particles are even more effective than nitramene.
--Dangit, Paxton, you're just in the dang way.
--Cross shooting his own loyal people reminds me of corporate America.
--There are a lot of clever fights in this film, & the premise lends it self to even more ideas, but the toy train fight is the best one.
--Featuring Thomas the Tank Engine as himself.
--That is a painful way to go, shrunk inconsistently.
--The quantum realm here is pretty stunning.
--We end on an example of a healthy divorced family.
--Well, we actually end on another Luis story featuring Anna Akana referencing Spider-Man.
--Hi, Stan!
--Mid-credit scene: The Wasp.
--Post-credit scene: Skip it. This exact footage will be repeated & expanded upon in the next movie.

Executive summary: A wacky heist comedy is a nice change of pace after about 30 hours of intrigue & drama & world-threatening robot armies. Rudd & Douglas carry the weight really well. Peña & Forston steal scenes. Judy Greer is underused. There are a couple of kinks to work out of the script, mostly relating to dialogue.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

We now enter a brief interlude of darn-near 4 full TV seasons before the next phase of films begins.


Daredevil season 2:

#2.01 "Bang":
--Something something Father's house den of thieves.
--Mr. Delfino is smiling very proudly for his dog.
--I first saw Nelson & Murdock being paid in food in the 2003 movie. Glad to see they didn't leave that out here.
--Well, bang.
--That's a good question; where IS his hand?
--The Dogs of Hell got hit too? Oof, so much for Rooster's crew.
--Karen Page is much better at improvising than Jemma Simmons is.
--Oh, look, it's Turk.
--The "Dogs of Hell" sign is hilarious.
--Daredevil is infiltrating the place where they make Soylent Green.
--Oh, wow, it's the Punisher.
--What was up with that color shift when Matt stood up? It was kinda cool.
--Well, bang.

#2.02 "Dogs to a Gunfight":
--I would hate to live in a building with anyone dumb enough to fall for "I lost my keys."
--Reyes is back, & she's still a jackhole. Foggy handles her beautifully, though.
--Hi, photo of Stan as Forbush Man!
--When you've sold a guy your security tape & your security gun & he has shown no interest in your porn, do not stop him on his way out to offer him kiddie porn.
--Matt's spending this episode living through what's probably been his worst nightmare since the car accident.
--Reyes, lying to defense counsel is never the right move.
--That's some Cap-style stuff with the baton.
--They keep saying "war zone", & it's gotta be a reference to that crappy movie.

#2.03 "New York's Finest":
--In Karen's words to Reyes, I'm reminded of Betty's words to Thunderbolt Ross, "You made him a fugitive to cover your failures & to protect your career." Reyes is threatening to make Nelson & Murdock a patsy to cover her failures & to protect her career.
--"'You're one bad day away from being me.' ~Joker to Batman" ~Punisher to Daredevil
--Claire's life hasn't been great lately, but Foggy's helping.
--Most of this episode is Matt & Frank arguing on a roof about philosophy & methodology. And it's one of the best dang episodes of this series.
--Hallway fight 2. Matt's whipping that chain around like he's Ghost Rider or something. (Wouldn't an MCU Ghost Rider be a hoot, though?)

#2.04 "Penny & Dime":
--This Finn guy is as much a nutter as Frank is. At least he didn't kill the dog.
--Lantom's back with a deeply honest eulogy for an audience of 3 about Grotto.
--At least Tower is aware that his boss is a crapstain of a person.
--Frank's shot in the head like he's Ghost Rider or something. (I wonder if they'd ever actually do that?)
--So this carousel is where it happened, eh? That's messed up. Gangs don't usually like to throw down in places like that. Frank must've been really lost in his memories to be snuck up on like he was.
--We did NOT need that closeup on the foot.
--The penny-&-dime thing is a children's book!? I thought it was some Marine slogan or something.
--These idiots fell for the old booby-trapped money trick.
--Matt gaining Frank's respect & Frank pouring his heart out to the Devil is a great emotional beat.
--"I think we've had enough Punisher for one evening" is right; I need to go to bed after this one & resume tomorrow. But what are the next 9 episodes supposed to be about?
--Wow, there's gonna be a little somethin'-somethin' going on with Matt & Karen n--HOLY CRAP ELEKTRA IS HERE.

#2.05 "Kinbaku":
--Those leftovers get thrown away anyhow; they can't be resealed. The money is already lost. So I truly don't understand what the problem is with someone else eating it.
--Elektra is the most English Greek person I've ever seen.
--Somebody with less-refined hearing than Matt would've heard "electric nachos."
--Foggy really needs to start recording all his conversations with anyone from Reyes's office.
--Well, dang. That's quite the...knockout.
--That Roxxon dude's arrogance offends ME, & I'm not there.
--Ellison is much more reasonable than he used to be. Of course, back issues should be easy enough to come by.
--Marci comes through with Reyes's motive. She's working with Hogarth now?
--This is a very awkward date. Now, am I talking about Matt & Karen now, or Matt & Elektra in the flashback?
--They say those Murdock boys got the devil in 'em.

#2.06 "Regrets Only":
--NINJA GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!
--Roxxon has had ties to crime since at least the 1940s, & the false Mandarin exposed some of those crimes just a few years before this. You knew, Elektra.
--I feel bad for little Roth here. Thankfully Matt & Foggy were easy on him.
--Reyes seems to feel invincible. This is gonna bite her in the butt.
--Frank has some kind of special connection to Karen, & I wanna figure out what it is.
--It's still very bright in that bathroom for the power being out.
--Just realized, this episode is the first time Frank has eyes upon Reyes. No wonder he changed his plea.
--What's with the string on the guards' fingers?
--That "starts next week" announcement would be a lot more poignant if this show ran weekly.

#2.07 "Semper Fidelis":
--So, none of these people are gonna be approved for the jury, right?
--Frank raises a very good point about the stigma against veterans with PTSD.
--Elektra is gonna completely wreck Matt's preparation for every stage of this case.
--Karen has a moment like she's describing. That's the connection she shares with Frank.
--I don't like sand. It's all shapeless & rough & train car filling. And it muffles the sound of approaching footsteps.
--Foggy pulled that the hell out of his butt, & he was amazing.
--Karen is not as good at defending Frank as Frank is.
--Why the hell would the jury be cleared out so quickly just because a witness is slightly upset?
--Foggy's anger with Matt is justified. Matt's anger with Elektra is justified. For once, though, nobody's anger with Karen is justified.
--This is quite a plot hole.

#2.08 "Guilty as Sin":
--Faceless ninja horde fight in the dark #1.
--Madness? This...is...STICK!!!
--Colonel Eugene Krabs for the defense.
--Schoonover was shot in the arm, but Reyes just shot herself in the foot.
--What the hell is a Black Sky?
--Dat skull tho.
--I never understood how "I instruct you not to let that influence your opinions" is supposed to work. Obviously it's gonna; everything everyone experiences influences their opinions.
--Stick, you let her see that on purpose, you jerk.
--Those signs should not be allowed in the courtroom; they influence the jury as much as that kid shouting did.
--Why does Castle have to be brought in? Why did proceedings begin before he was in there?
--Matt, why.
--That'll teach that kid not to join the evil ninja cult.
--None of them understand. He's not locked up in there with them. They're locked up in there with him.
--Ok, maybe one of them understands. Hello, fatty.

#2.09 "Seven Minutes in Heaven":
--Fisk has been busy in here.
--Dutton seems very...generic.
--Matt, all you have to do is tell Karen you weren't sleeping with Elektra.
--Matt & Foggy breaking up hurts more than any of the romantic relationships on this show.
--How are neither Karen nor Ellison noticing there's a car pulling up behind Tepper's window!?
--Fisk just made a very dangerous enemy.
--Hallway fight 3. I had to look away a couple times.
--The shield drumming is so stupid.
--So is Karen just a reporter now? She just gets Ben's old office? Ben didn't know he was gonna die; did he just give Karen his password?
--The Kingpin finally claims his title.
--What the crap; it's Nobu?

#2.10 "The Man in the Box":
--This crap with the blood-draining is horrifying. It's not even gory or hard to look at; it's just so psychologically screwed-up.
--Reyes was corrupt, but Tower is a coward.
--Donovan, blindness is not unusual enough to be addressed that way.
--Crap, Fisk knows. Matt let him get too close & threatened him too similarly to before.
--A bar in a hangar? That's just tacky.
--Sometimes overcoming latent sexism means continuing to protect a woman because you realize you should've also protected a man in the past, not refusing to protect a woman to match the mistake you made not protecting a man in the past.
--"Punished", the fire new album from MC Foggy & the Night Nurse!
--I learned the term "hair shirt" from a Barenaked Ladies song.
--Cox's accent is slipping as badly as Matt's emotional stability is.
--Frank makes a strong case for his innocence by not being the one shooting at Karen right now.
--Elektra tries the Black Widow move, but it didn't work. Luckily she found another way to cut the dude down to sais.

#2.11 ".380":
--Faceless ninja horde fight in the dark #2. (Gotta admit, this one's a little more memorable because that nurse got murderstabbed.)
--Fun fact: The Foot from TMNT were conceived as a parody of generic ninja villains like the Hand.
--Karen making things worse #52837.
--"We'll be just outside." *leaves the hotel entirely*
--Chicks dig battle scars, Foggy.
--Gotta say, Gao again is a surprise; is she Hand too? Two of Fisk's branches?
--Looks like those two dishes... *shades* ...just got served. YEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!
--"What made you think I ever left?" ...You said you were leaving.
--Claire makes quitting look smart. It isn't, but she makes it look like it is.
--Well, bang.
--Stick is normally a joy to watch, but this sword-sharpening scene is just a bore.

#2.12 "The Dark at the End of the Tunnel":
--Baby Elektra is actually kind of an adorable widdle psychopath.
--Faceless ninja horde fight in the dark #3.
--Brett: "It's over. Frank Castle's a dead man." Narrator: "Frank Castle was not a deat man."
--Karen just got hired & she gets the veteran investigative reporter's office. The rest of this staff is gonna hate her.
--Faceless ninja horde fight in the dark #4.
--This is just like in Carnivale when Clancy Brown was revealed to be the villain all along!
--Faceless ninja horde fight in the dark #5.
--Stick giving advice was clever, but do we have to watch fingernail torture again?
--Matt's the boxer's kid, but clearly Stick is a fan of Mike Tyson.
--What the hell is a Black Sky?
--These flashbacks to Elektra's youth with Stick are a real Sucker Punch.
--Faceless ninja horde fight in the dark #6.
--Punisher wins. Fatality.
--Faceless ninja horde fight in the dark #7.

#2.13 "A Cold Day in Hell's Kitchen":
--What the hell is a Black Sky?
--Matt's making a very strong case against killing cult leaders.
--Hmm, not sure if Hogarth is a healthy jump for Foggy, but at least he's gonna get paid what he's worth for a change.
--Melvin, mah man.
--God bless you, Turk.
--Relying on Nobu for this plotline, the member of Fisk's ring who mattered the least & had no personality, was a mistake.
--Faceless ninja horde fight in the dark #8.
--Realistic helmet hair is a nice change of pace compared to most other superhero things.
--Madrid & Tunisia are both south of NYC, Matt.
--Faceless ninja horde fight in--wait, no, this one actually matters. Poor Elektra. Dat skull tho. Finish him, Stick.
--This season started in a heat wave, didn't it? And now there's snow. This all took quite a while.
--Don't print beat poetry in a newspaper, Karen.
--Karen sucks, but she deserves the truth, finally.

Executive summary: Elodie Yung does a fantastic job as Elektra, & absolutely everything about the Punisher plotline was amazing (except Karen being herself). But the Hand stuff slogged, in part because Nobu is a big bunch of nothing, in part because there were 137 faceless ninja horde fights in the dark, & in part because what the hell is a Black Sky?


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Part 26 here slightly overlaps the preceding events. Keep an eye on Turk & Claire.


Luke Cage season 1:

#1.01 "Moment of Truth":
--Very 70s groove on this theme song. I like it. (The alternate version ain't bad either. )
--Lonnie's mom pays for Kumon? Pfft, get a Varsity Tutor instead, better schedule & cheaper.
--Luke told Pop about Jess shooting him, but didn't tell him why? That's cold, Luke.
--Kid, it's been 3 years; people aren't gonna buy Incident footage forever.
--Luke, people still say "album."
--Cottonmouth mixes his metaphors; you don't want pure water to blow holes in battleships. And you sure as hell don't want Hammer Tech!
--Shameek's gonna get a lot more people killed.
--"Coffee" is gonna be our go-to on this show for "well, dang."
--See, his name is Shades because he wears shades.
--The strip club is just gratuitous.
--This shot in front of the Biggie photo is gorgeous.
--Whoa, Reva gets lines now.
--"Amos...show the man what you famous for." ...Give him tiny cookies?
--I really like the name "Genghis Connie". It tickles my punny bone.

#1.02 "Code of the Streets":
--This mugging will not ends well.
--Misty's case-solve-o-vision is really cool.
--"Trim" is not swearing, Pop.
--Cottonmouth, stop moving your jaw while you're being shaved.
--Bobby & Turk in the background are hilarious.
--Baby Pop looks like he's in a Spike Lee movie.
--Turk's not supposed to be here & he's not limping.
--Oof, Turk's really not supposed to be here.
--Bloody hell, Tone. RIP, Pop.
--This would normally be the kind of thing that ends an episode of Daredevil with the cops on the scene at the start of the next one. Coker don't play that way, though.
--"I'm going back to Hell's Kitchen where it's safe." ...where you'll be abducted by a ninja cult & have your leg sliced open.
--Mahershala bringing the manly tears.

#1.03 "Who's Gonna Take the Weight?":
--Another frame story flashback right after the last one.
--Colter & Ali play off of each other really well.
--"Nothing humbles a man like gravity." Tell that to the Wright bros.
--"The bullet that killed Pops probably bounced off you." There were SO MANY bullets, Chico, you nitwit.
--Girl in the safehouse reminds me of Trevor Slattery's groupies.
--Misty & Scarfe have good chemistry too, but Scarfe is annoying.
--My first thought was "why does he need a shield?" then I realized it wasn't a shield, it was a battering ram. Also, it was a car door.
--It's not a complete breakdown of the system, Misty. It's somebody helping the system work more effectively.
--So that's why Scarfe is so annoying. Poor Chico.
--Public opinion: "Diamondback was too cartoony; that's why Cottonmouth was better!" Cottonmouth: *shoots a rocket launcher with a digital scope at a restaurant in episode 3*

#1.04 "Step in the Arena":
--That beard.
--So Luke was in the same prison as Trevor Slattery at roughly the same time. So the Ten Rings didn't wreck the whole place after all, just the one wing.
--I'm genuinely surprised Reva warmed up to...Carl...after the first impression he made.
--Rackham is like Umbridge, completely corrupt, completely vile, & completely realistic. People like him exist.
--You may know fights, Squabbles, but you don't know films. Bruce's stuff was better.
--So the guard moves on to threatening the psychiatrist & the doctor. Jackhole.
--So all I gotta do is boil myself in acid to get super strength & unbreakable skin? Deal.
--Dat tiara tho.
--Luke father used to say he'd regret the life he led before he was framed & imprisoned!? He was a COP before tha!

#1.05 "Just to Get a Rep":
--Ope, Claire's here, & she ain't putting up with these muggers' crap.
--Koko had a decent idea, but too bad it didn't really apply to a specific conflict already in progress.
--Why are they talking about Tyson like he's dead?
--I love how everybody knows everybody else's nicknames in the neighborhood.
--This man's just trying to get to a funeral & everybody's trying to stop him.
--Claire's moving back in with her mom after having just quit her job. The timeline overlap is complete, & she's becoming the Night Nurse.
--The Judas Bullet is appropriately horrifying.
--I have never seen a funeral this much like a debate.

#1.06 "Suckas Need Bodyguards":
--Trish Talk? Really?
--Scarfe has poor survival instincts.
--Claire reaching out to Luke is a nice proactive move on her part, & she's just in time to save Scarfe.
--I haven't talked about Mariah much at all. She's just sorta had her own thing going on underneath everything else with her political career. It's intriguing, but overall it's just been background decoration. The interview subplot in this episode is a nice moment for her to shine.
--I had to rewind for a second to get a better look at Misty's...entrance.
--How did Claire's mom see her from the street? The door to the barbershop is sunken behind a wall.
--Zip is such a freaking moron.
--This confession sting brought to you by Wendy's.
--Scarfe didn't even get to sort anyone as being metrosexual.

#1.07 "Manifest":
--The trash talk in this cold open is awful. Telling people what they *want* to hear isn't gonna make them upset.
--"I can handle Ridley." I sure hope so; he's got a massive hurtbox & surprisingly bad recovery.
--"I'm a strong believer in party first, no matter what." That's not something to brag about, Damon.
--"Get out of the rain." It's not raining.
--Mama Mabel shares the ethics of Vito Corleone (good with all manner of horrible business but not drugs), but lacks the family values.
--Dubya Bush is a pretty good artist. Imagine if he could've just done that for his whole career instead of his father forcing him into the family business. Replace "Dubya Bush" with "Cornell Stokes."
--Ridley wants Misty to arrest somebody she knows to be innocent or else lose her job. Sad thing is, Ridley ain't even on the take; she's just that big of an a-hole.
--Welp, Cottonmouth's dead. That I couldn't predict (unless I knew in advance that they only had Mahershala Ali for 6 episodes), though I could predict that Mariah wouldn't react well to being told she wanted her uncle to rape her; don't ever do that to a rape victim. Ever.
--Looks like the Judas bullet worked after all. Who the heck fired it, though?

#1.08 "Blowin' Up the Spot":
--Solid Warriors reference.
--Pulp Fiction Cleanup 101 with Professor Shades is kinda cool.
--Oh, ok, Ridley isn't on the take, but she IS buddy-buddy with Mariah from their sorority. I freaking hate that who-you-know crap; it's just nepotism without the blood ties.
--Same sleazeball that represents Fisk is also covering Candace? Hmm.
--Stryker? Like from X-Men?
--Just like Mariah, Diamondback is attacking out of personal rage, & it's causing him to make stupid decisions. But since we've only just met Diamondback, it doesn't mean as much.
--Misty is having a breakdown, & Ridley's continued presence is only making it worse. Doesn't excuse Misty's actions, but the problem with somebody like Ridley is that she'll never admit fault.
--"I am your brother." "NOOOOOOOO!"

#1.09 "DWYCK":
--Clearly it was all of the above, psyche-eval-guy.
--Diamondback's little magic trick was clever, but ain't no way he knew that shot was only gonna hit a shoulder.
--48 Laws of Power was published in 1998; Diamondback "got through [his] darkness" sometime in the past 17 years.
--Oof, dat stop-&-frisk tho. :(
--The lemonade story is too true too.
--"Tonight" is kinda vague, Mariah.
--Reva's flash drive (not a hard drive, Claire) returns, this time with stuff relevant to Luke.
--Why lie about the psych eval being observed. Obviously it was being observed; there was NO other reason to do it in an interrogation room.
--Burstein is kinda nutty.
--Oof. All Mariah wanted was out of the business, & here Diamondback shows up, kills all the people she was gonna help for reasons that probably weren't even true, & forces her to stay in.
--Irony that the moment when Diamondback thinks Luke can't run is the moment when he already has run for a totally different reason.

#1.10 "Take It Personal":
--I wouldn't normally say backroom boiling acid baths were realistic, but then I saw the president use a hashtag about firing his medical expert during a pandemic.
--Diamondback's out there like Vaan shouting "I'm Captain Basch!" Anybody who believes that's Luke is just plain dumb.
--"When justice is done, it is a joy to the righteous, but a terror to evildoers." Yeah, but when injustice is done, it is the opposite.
--Dang, Reva was in on it!? And does Burstein not know Reva married Luke?
--Misty, you actually HAVE evidence: the facial recognition. Why aren't you telling Ridley about it?
--Very convenient flashback.
--That reverend just stuttered exactly like Nuke.

#1.11 "Now You're Mine":
--Solid Diff'rent Strokes reference.
--There've been 2 different Obama references in this show, but we know President Ellis is in office. Obama must've lost the 2008 primary to Ellis.
--Boone clearly does drink, or else he would flinch at the burn of the alcohol going down.
--Claire is being very smart. Ridley is finally catching on that Mariah is the problem. Misty finally knows Luke is innocent. Shades is coming to realize he needs to get the hell away from Diamondback. The only person with no leverage right now is Candace; sucks to be her.
--I don't know if Willis meant to turn the PA back on, but at least now Luke knows what the hell his problem is.
--Poor Boone.
--If Misty keeps that tourniquet on too long, she's liable to lose that arm.
--"We know you innocent, Luke!" The optics may be bad, but all the testimony is on his side, & even American racists should let off an innocent black man when there's another black man they can punish instead.

#1.12 "Soliloquy of Chaos":
--Turk's looking a little worse for the wear. Big scar on the ankle will do that to a man.
--The convenience store robbery with Method Man is a nice light moment.
--Shades mopped the floor with Ridley.
--Hi, photo of Stan as Forbush Man!
--Candace is probably gonna do something stupid, but even if she doesn't, she already let herself get followed.
--"Bulletproof Love" is pretty good.
--Zip, you are so dumb & so dead.
--I think I understand what really makes this season drag. First of all, yes, Diamondback doesn't hold a candle to Cottonmouth; the former thinks he's in the 70s comic while everyone else has their feet firmly planted in the universe built by Iron Man & Daredevil. But secondly, there aren't any short episodes on this show like there are on DD or JJ. This one in particular is 65 minutes, & 10 minutes could've been chopped out of it at no dramatic loss.
--Domingo comes VERY close to killing Willis here. It's only bad luck that stretches this another episode.
--Bobby can't catch a break.

#1.13 "You Know My Steez":
--I do not, in fact know your steez.
--Based on this flashback, Luke is definitely the one with the accurate memory.
--"This suit's Hammer tech, made just for you." Then why does it work?
--Why is Final Fantasy save music playing at Soledad's apartment?
--This fight ain't half bad.
--His name is "White Thomas"?
--Pop's place is 8 blocks from the Apollo, where Hulk faced Abomination 4 years prior to this.
--On the one hand, Misty absolutely did screw up with handling poor Candace. On the other hand, Ridley has repeatedly given Misty reasons not to trust her, so she shouldn't be upset that Misty didn't trust her.
--Bobby found the file in the barbershop, which means Carl Lucas should eventually be exonerated once Claire sends her lawyer friend to follow up. At least these marshals are being decent.
--Mariah has awful trigger discipline.
--Burstein has Willis? Either Willis is gonna die, or we're gonna have another Abomination scenario in Harlem.

Executive summary: Diamondback isn't as bad as everyone likes to hype him as being, but he's definitely a downgrade from Ali's outstanding character work as Cottonmouth. Luckily Shades & Mariah are able to carry the villain work through to the end. On the other side, Luke, Misty, & Claire do a killer job. Really, Diamondback & the freaking long episodes are the problem.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Part 27, in which Simmons has been eaten by a giant rock.


Agents of SHIELD season 3 part 1:

#3.01 "Laws of Nature":
--New guy here hides behind wooden pallets & they don't melt like all the metal he's been touching. Nice detail.
--Awesome Quake entrance.
--Fly away on my Zephyr-1.
--Aww, she goes by Daisy now!
--Oof, that's a lot of holes in chests.
--Coulson throwin' shade with the fake hand.
--Joey's freakout is completely understandable, but he really needs to understand that if he goes back out right now, somebody's gonna kill him.
--Globe-trotting cool-guy Fitz is the real game-changer here.
--How the hell does this woman know Tahiti?
--Ok, if Raina was a hedgehog, this big dude is a werehog.
--Hey, it's President Ellis...as the puppet of a spy.
--18 months from fall 2015 until full dispersal.
--SHIELD knows about Ant-Man, good to know. But known Hydra funds were static, so Carson never paid for the vial he stole.
--Fitz's breakdown here is astounding.
--Stinger: Welp, she's not dead!

#3.02 "Purpose in the Machine":
--Ah, great, a sketchy secret society sacrifical ceremony.
--Heartwarming moment: The instant Fitz gets evidence Simmons could be alive, everyone is immediately onboard with saving her.
--Ward actually has a good point about wealth & status.
--Numb3rs alum Eliot Randolph is back.
--Bobbi, who's gonna see the symbol on top of the jet?
--Daisy, your mother's halfway house wasn't "enough" because she was embittered, deceptive, & power-mad. Also, Andrew isn't gonna approve anybody for the team so quickly after their terrigenesis.
--Papa May is adorable.
--There would have to be a storm shelter under the Louvre.
--Ward's ripping off Garrett's training tics.
--There's a pretty good Dane Cook joke about being inside a woofer.
--Simmons's rescue is phenomenal. Hunter's cheerleading from a far is adorable.

#3.03 "A Wanted (Inhu)man":
--Simmons probably had to suture herself. Her struggle to re-acclimatize is engaging.
--"Her mental health is just as important." DO YOU HEAR THAT, AMERICAN INSURANCE PROVIDERS?
--Coulson is rocking a Luke Skywalker glove over his fake hand.
--The subtitles on "drunk Brit" are awesome. Kudos to Netflix for not screwing them up with their own subtitles for a change.
--This really does suck for Lincoln. I feel for his situation, & the detail of him having an AA sponsor he trusts helps establish character, but he's still pretty much a blank-slate onscreen. And he could've gotten out ahead of things with John by telling him what he was falsely accused of *before* John saw the news.
--Fitz points out that he's still recovering.
--First rule of Hydra Club: Do not talk about Hydra Club.
--That Hunter looks horrified speaks very well of him.
--Fitz got game.
--Coulson is learning from his mistakes & is sick of good vs good fights.
--Mack's shown a lot of growth in his opinion towards Inhumans, too.

#3.04 "Devils You Know":
--Poor one of Alisha.
--Jaws was 13 years pre-Daisy, not 20, Mack.
--Andrew is unveiling more of Simmons's repression.
--Now Andrew's being really sketchy with May, Simmons is being really sketchy with Fitz. Ugh.
--Banks reminds me of the trigger-happy cop from Harlem whose name I can't remember.
--This dude looks like a witch from L4D. What a sucky power, being allergic to other people of your species. Why would that even be a thing that could happen in a designed subspecies like Inhumans?
--If "Lash" didn't like doing what he was doing, he wouldn't have killed those human guards at the hospital.
--He really is a werehog!
--Bobbi, Hunter did tell you where he was going.
--Once again, Hunter's relative anonymity pays off; it took Ward himself to make him, & they've reduced his personnel down to 3.

#3.05 "4,722 Hours":
--Whenever people press buttons on their phones while recording or taking calls, the resultant audio never seems to have any noises in it. I promise you, though, when you're on the other end of that call, you hear ALL of it.
--Dat title card tho.
--Its filthy stagnant water, but any port in a dust storm.
--How did you not notice those sticks there before? You've been camping by this same puddle for almost a month!
--Why suture through the pants? Just tear the leg back.
--I don't know why writers think astronauts aren't sciencey.
--Ok, it's that cult dude's sword. (I just got sucked into this awesome episode for 15 minutes straight.)
--Not sure how the planet could've been a paradise with no sun.
--This escape attempt is over 75% of the way through Jemma's time here. She held out hope for 5 months out of the 6.5 months this episode spans.
--Oh, that's why the wine made her cry.
--Dang, Will really made it right down to the wire.
--Cool guy Fitz is cool.
--This legitimately might be the best episode of the series so far.

#3.06 "Among Us Hide...":
--May's back. And this time, she's mad...again.
--I appreciate that Daisy has dropped the notion that the ATCU is purposely helping Lash.
--Wait a tic. This old Hydra guy that Baby Strucker ran to was on the security council in Avengers 1! He gave the order to nuke NYC!
--Bobbi's play in the bank vault was very smart; not her fault the one guard was so jumpy.
--Hunter's play with Banks was actually pretty smart too.
--You don't have to throw the burgers away, Ros.
--Daisy, don't be so shocked; you knew he was trying to get into that place. You know full well that Coulson is good at controlling his emotional displays.
--Ros, unless you got consent for those gel cubes, it's still freaking gross.
--HOLY CARP ANDREW IS LASH.

#3.07 "Chaos Theory":
--Maui. It's a magical place.
--How did that book do that?
--Hey, Joey's back! Hope he doesn't get ganked by Lashsld;fdsf.,sorry, I looked up & Adrianne Palicki was in a bra.
--Fitz is doing all kinds of silly fake-sciencey things to this SIM card.
--Glad May is taking things seriously, but she should've told somebody what's up.
--Ros, obviously keeping people contained safely in a way that they can still communicate & have agency & learn how to gain control of themselves is more humane that sealing them in gel indefinitely for a "cure" that probably isn't possible.
--"Inhumans can't change form." What if that's part of his power, Lincoln? Before Gordon, Inhumans couldn't teleport either. Why are people with superpowers so skeptical about the existence of other superpowers? (Nevermind the Skrulls; Lincoln has no reason to know they even exist yet.)
--"I've only killed those who deserve it." And some hospital security guards. And a couple cooking dinner at home. And the guy who helped you find the others.
--Rosalind: "We got him." Narrator: "They did not have him."
--Well, dang, Phil.

#3.08 "Many Heads, One Tale":
--Ward is in outstanding shape for a guy who was just shot in the shoulder.
--Solid "Easy Mac" reference.
--The extra with the wireless sniffer sweep earned his pay.
--This ATCU guy used to be a SHIELD coroner. And he was in Scott Pilgrim.
--I'm actually really enjoying Coulson & Rosalind's banter now that they're not obstructing each other anymore.
--How can any living active spy type that slowly?
--Malick? Crud, the ATCU is connected to Hydra?
--That symbol for the death cult & the NASA program aligns with the symbol for the Council of Nine; were they Hydra too?
--Malick, the reason SHIELD was able to bring somebody back now & Hydra never could before was because the entity you wanna bring back so much kept eating all the people you sent to rescue it.

#3.09 "Closure":
--Why will no one let this man enjoy his burger? Screw you, Ward, & your false equivalencies.
--Ok, let's talk about Rosalind's death. This is the first real fridging in the entire MCU, & hopefully it'll be the last.
--The team interviews about Ward are a great dark reprisal of the lie-detector montage from season 1.
--Poor Banks. Iron Chef here takes no prisoners...well, except FitzSimmons; he took them as prisoners.
--"I would never do anything to hurt you," says the guy who dumped her in the ocean to drown.
--Oh snap, it's the littlest Ward.
--"Just because you grow up in a family of abusive monsters doesn't mean you have to become one." AMEN.
--Coulson threaded the needle on that jump, but both fortunately & unfortunately for him, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.

#3.10 "Maveth":
--I really appreciate that they didn't forget Daisy is a hacker when she became a superhero.
--Coulson's dream sequence is a nice what-if moment.
--Simmons still has her shiv. Awesome.
--Jemma, did you for real just let Lash out? You would've been fine if you'd just ignored the module & hidden.
--We go from a bulletproof black man to a bulletproof gay man.
--This is the shortest 12 hours I've ever seen.
--Ward has had some kind of religious awakening on this planet, unless he's just lying again.
--Mack's not bad at this director thing.
--That ancient city is significantly less silly than the giant Hydra logo was. Poor Will confirmed.
--Ward is dead. Screw you, Ward.
--The thing slithering out of Ward's body reminds me of the description of the Caretaker from Chain Letter by Christopher Pike.
--How did that thing have time to even reach the portal after having to backtrack to the corpse, much less get in front of Malick's car?

Executive summary: This show has really come into its own. The main plot & subplot were both good & have interwoven nicely. "4722 Hrs" is magnificent. When we come back to these guys, we'll see the fallout from what just happened.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

More news: New Mutants is finally rescheduled again, for 8/28, which would be fine if we'd taken the past 2 months seriously. But we didn't, & so that might get bumped again.
In other ambivalent news, it's time for this crud...


Iron Fist season 1:

#1.01 "Snow Gives Way":
--Let's start with these opening credits. The animation looks terrible. Black on black, which is dumb for a character whose signature color is green. There is no point to the motion trails. The kata hits a climax, but then keeps going for a few more beats. The music is dull & fizzles out at the end.
--Danny leaps sole-first onto the spire of a fence & doesn't get his bare foot impaled.
--The clickwheel iPod is an excellent piece of hardware. Pity you can only use it with the craptacular mess that is iTunes.
--Whoever wrote this dialogue should never be allowed near a keyboard again.
--Is Danny communing with this hawk? Is this an Animorphs crossover?
--Also, it's really convenient that our other Ward finally died just in time for this one to show up.
--Colleen's flyers match the ones Claire was looking at the end of LC1.
--It's Chinese New Year, February 2016.
--The Rand security guy thinks he's gonna assassinate a guy in a huge crowd with a loud gun & not get caught?
--Just like in Return of the King, Faramir is not as dead as people thought he was.
--"How the hell did he learn martial arts?" is a dumb question.
--Poor Big Al. Credit where it's due, Danny's response is sweet.
--Why does Joy just happen to have drugged tea in her office?

#1.02 "Shadow Hawk Takes Flight":
--So we're in the kind of asylum where a patient with known homicidal tendencies is able to freely visit other patients who are restrained & can't defend themselves. Delightful.
--Why is Colleen teaching her students how to mug people?
--Colleen is doing the Mary Catherine Gallagher armpit pose.
--"Immortal Iron Fist", "sworn enemy of the Hand", & I think earlier in this episode he said "protector of K'un-Lun."
--Okay, we get it, he's proven his identity to Joy & the doctor & Harold. Why are there still 10 minutes left in this episode?
--Credit where it's due, the bioluminescence of the actual Iron Fist is genuinely a cool effect.

#1.03 "Rolling Thunder Cannon Punch":
--Why. Are. All. These. Episodes. So. Long.
--Colleen hides behind a column that's narrower than her head, & the invaders don't notice her shoulders sticking out when the flashlight sweeps over them.
--Darryl isn't actually sweeping.
--Joy & Ward can't seem to comprehend that Danny isn't after the money; he just wants to keep his identity. If they'd asked him to simply forfeit his share of the company without changing his name, he'd have agreed.
--That's 3 shows with Hogarth now, or...a Trinity.
--"You've got your look." No, he doesn't; he's wearing a standard men's business suit.
--Just move the dang glass, Harold.
--Is the theme song the only music they have?
--Wow, they just went to Metro General & DIDN'T see Claire.
--The kid playing Lil' Danny can't wince in time with the blows.
--Credit where it's due, this fight is a fairly realistic depiction of how somebody as small as Colleen could beat a guy as big as Zangief from Street Fighter here: dodge a lot, strike quickly & then back off, block what you can, redirect what you can't.
--And Danny falls to his death. The end.

#1.04 "Eight Diagram Dragon Palm":
--Ok, not quite the end.
--Of course Danny's never seen the Hand; K'un-Lun has been cut off from the world that whole time.
--"Sworn enemy of the Hand" again.
--And the Hand is in Rand making Demands.
--"I think one of my favorite things about Colleen is she always looks like she just woke up from a really good nap." ~my wife
--Credit where it's due, Danny's prepped speech & his answer about the asylum were genuinely good.
--There's a lot of room between $5 & $50 for pricing this drug.
--Another realistic cage fight: Faced with two opponents, initial strategy is to always keep one of them stunned or distant to prevent being overwhelmed. Once that stops working, she uses one as a shield against the other until one of them is KO'd.
--This hallway fight is not as good as other hallway fights. The overhead shots were nice, but they're cutting way too often.
--Danny should not've had to force that elevator open; they're should automatically reopen once they hit something.
--Harold just complained about not getting weapons training, & now he can do that?
--The boy with the dragon tattoo.

#1.05 "Under Leaf Pluck Lotus":
--It takes some big brass ones to go selling heroin that publicly.
--Why would Ward see a tiny paper rectangle & instantly think it's heroin?
--Ok, Claire's here, we can start the plot now.
--That Danny's comment on the street in a video where he straight-up says he doesn't know the details of the situation could cause such trouble for the company is a sign of how broken the corporate system is. At the same time, that the company can't treat the people they got sick, or enact safety measures beyond the bare minimum required by law, is also a sign of how broken the corporate system is.
--Every nunchuck exhibition looks like the one from the first TMNT movie.
--How strong is that gun that it shot through a steel door at a distance & still had enough force afterwards to break through a windshield?
--Gotta be honest, I fell asleep for the last few minutes of this episode around 3am. Woke up about 20 minutes later, restarted & paused the next episode that had begun, & went to bed. Had to be online by 8am for work.

#1.06 "Immortal Emerges from Cave":
--What I'm really learning from these shows is that absolutely every restaurant in New York is run by organized crime.
--"Corporate leaders do not admit culpability." He didn't. He just said he'd help.
--Danny, you can't just say stuff from your magic city that only connects to Earth once every 15 years & expect everyone to instantly know what it means.
--"I have a vision of total victory." SO DO THEY.
--I should start sending all my messages written on bamboo popsicle sticks.
--Gao up in here acting like she's not the one in charge.
--Credit where it's due, the Thunderer is really interesting, & I'm glad we're getting a lot of him.
--Needle Storm here lives in an amateur haunted house. Also, Danny is moron for letting somebody he knows is gonna try to kill him get that close.
--Those camera zooms are hideous.
--Ward's hand is swollen like a balloon, & this awesome nurse is not having his bullcrap.
--Ken vs Byleth on Arena Ferox is the first decent fight we've seen Danny in.
--Gao violated Danny's terms, so he isn't bound to honor hers.
--RZA directed this episode, which explains its very different tone from what we've had before & establishes a Wu-Tang thru-line with Method.

#1.07 "Felling Tree with Roots":
--"Iron Fist, sworn enemy of the Hand."
--"Told you what?" ...THAT HE KNEW GAO. THE THING HE JUST SAID. DEAR LORD, DANIEL.
--We didn't need the closeup on that finger.
--Well, dang.. Colleen's enthusiastic consent is a nice touch.
--Credit where it's due, Ward is having an incredible breakdown, & it might be the best thing about this season other than Colleen's general competency.
--Gao's secret base isn't the cool lair from the tournament or either of the drug houses we saw her work out of in Daredevil, no; it's a random floor of this office building, where she takes inventory meetings after giving clunky expository lectures about Daredevil & Luke Cage.
--"...keep everyone on payroll, so nobody loses their job." Yes, that's what keep-everyone-on-payroll means.
--How do people who make up less than 25% of the company's ownership oust the people who make up at least 75% of that ownership, one of whom is 51% all on his own? Disney can't manage to kick out Ike Perlmutter, & he has nowhere near the controlling interest there that Danny has in Rand.
--Anzhou is pretty close to Beijing; there could be legit reasons to go there.
--Welp, Harold's dead.

#1.08 "The Blessing of Many Fractures":
--Claire is really out of character here, which I'm gonna chalk up to crappy writing, like most of the dialogue-based problems on this show.
--"Bringing Danny into this company was a toxic decision." Was it, though? He seemed to just get you lots of positive press.
--Ward's going through the 5 stages of Lady Macbeth.
--In this episode, the part of Anzhou, China, will be played by a warehouse in Manhattan.
--Joy hired Jessica & got results.
--Credit where it's due, the drunk fight is pretty fun to watch.
--Claire in this episode: "Killing is wrong, no matter who kills this trigger or why." Also Claire in this episode: *puts on freaking wolverine claws*
--There's something satisfying in seeing Gao truly afraid for the first time ever. Too bad it's undermined by the anticlimacticness of her just standing there after Danny busts the wall down & letting him grab her.

#1.09 "The Mistress of All Agonies":
--Welp, Harold's not dead.
--Gao's laughing like she shoots sodium pentathol to get high.
--Mandatory New York "hey, I'm walking here!"
--On the one hand, the boiling water probably keeps those hot dogs sterile anyway. On the other, it's not like hot dog carts are known for particularly clean water anyway.
--Even shambling zombie Harold can remember Ward's birthday. Daww.
--How can a shambling zombie whose portrait is wander the building freely when they have security on high alert to stop the ousted executives.
--Of course the perfect thing to do when you have two major plot threads that are barely progressing at all is to introduce a new character with his own baggage to clog up the works even more.
--I used to sit like Danny does in my Acting classes, rather than in the usual cross-ankle style. Everybody thought it hurt, but it was actually much more comfortable to me.
--Credit where it's due, Mr. Yang's story is appropriately chilling & explains a lot not only about Harold, but about all of the Hand.
--Oh, Kyle. Poor sweet Kyle. You deserved none of this.
--Healing makes no sense as an ability of a living weapon.
--Your first "Sweet Christmas" was cute, Claire, but knock it off.

#1.10 "Black Tiger Steals Heart":
--Bakuto's voice is a chore to listen to.
--Wow, so we could be watching a show about a competent Iron Fist?
--We're just sitting around this college campus the whole time, eh?
--Danny, breaking all this stuff is a really good idea, but do it more quietl--how did Bakuto get back here so quickly?
--Credit where it's due, Davos's first line of dialogue is the thesis statement of the season: "Wow, you are the worst Iron Fist ever."

#1.11 "Lead Horse Back to Stable":
--Danny actually has a good point for a change; there is a massive concentration of Hand operations in New York, so the Iron Fist would actually do more damage to them here instead of just standing at a gate that's only accessible once every 15 years.
--Bakuto, like the Thunderer, is mired in a traditional mindset of never questioning authority. I recently learned that a lot of Japanese companies have begun staffing a "Loud American" position in their domestic offices so that there is somebody who is culturally allowed to argue with the boss when a bad idea is presented to protect the company.
--Genuine funny moment when Davos doesn't know what a stapler is but Danny is in dread.
--Harold's performance is really interesting, & Ward has the best character arc of the season, but whenever Joy is present, the Meachums' story is all business, & all the enjoyable bits vanish.
--These repeated jabs at Danny's "limited thinking" would be a lot less dumb if we hadn't already seen what the Hand are in Daredevil.
--"I am the Iron Fist, protector of K'un-Lun, sworn enemy of the Hand."
--The way New Yorkers talk about pizza is so cringey.
--"We cut off the head & the snake will die." Tell that to Hydra.
--I had to rewind to get a closer look at Colleen's...escape.

#1.12 "Bar the Big Boss":
--Ward's dream of zombie-Harold is a delightful Big-Lipped-Alligator-Moment.
--Davos seems really upset that somebody reacted badly to him attacking her.
--Oh, look, Bakuto can't be trusted to honor his deals. Shocker.
--Remove the head or destroy the brain. The Hand really are just zombies ninjas.
--Davos got slammed into that elevator button like 3 times & the elevator never came.
--Credit where it's due, Colleen's fight with Bakuto is genuinely exciting, & it's really cathartic to watch him lose & die, even if we know from Bakutos's prior words that he'll be back.
--Davos, his duty is to "destroy the Hand". You can lock some of them up along the way to destroying the organization.

#1.13 "Dragon Plays with Fire":
--"Danny made a poor decision when he attacked the DEA agents." Well, the DEA agents made a poor decision when they didn't identify themselves.
--Hi, photo of Stan as Forbush Man!
--Ugh, a whole season of getting his head straight, & now we're back to the twitchy Danny of episode 1.
--Joy is having a very hard time comprehending the "you would have been assassinated" thing.
--Die Hard had a more convincing window swing than that 30 years ago.
--Credit where it's due, Danny's shockwave attack is pretty cool.
--Danny successfully disarms his foe...& then runs away for no reason.
--This camerawork is so bad.
--"Oh, Danny boy." Harold is impaled on a pipe, a pipe, & calling him.
--There's clip-art Tobias again.
--Well, cremation separates the ashes of the head from the ashes of the neck, so that counts.
--Joy is very blasé about the idea of killing Danny after being deeply upset about killing Bakuto earlier.
--"It's blood." No, it isn't. There's nothing there.
--What do you mean you don't know where K'un-Lun went? You know the city disappears after a while. That's all that happened.
--EXTREME SKIN CELL CLOSEUP.

Executive summary: On the one hand, there's Colleen, Harold, Ward, & Gao. On the other hand, there's every-dang-thing else: sloppy fight choreography, god-awful dialogue, hideous camerawork, a horribly-developed protagonist, & a refusal to delve into the K'un-Lun material that would actually enhance this mess. Finn Jones got set up to fail. Hopefully after a screwup this bad, Marvel won't hire Scott Buck again.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Part 29. I've been at this for a month now. Now that I'm through IF1, though, life is good again. That overlaps with this, by the by.


Agents of SHIELD season 3 part 2:

#3.11 "Bouncing Back":
--"Three months from now" wait whaaaa?
--President Ellis again.
--Lincoln, that makes no freaking sense. How could the exact evolutionary needs of the species be predicted that far in advance, especially when not every Inhuman is activated? Simmons was right to laugh at you.
--The image of Yo-Yo trying to break out of the containment cell is pretty chilling & awesome.
--Current affairs lesson: Sometimes the cops are the bad guys, here demonstrated by Colombia. There are other examples in other countries, some that you wouldn't expect.
--If Bobbi & Hunter weren't there, Elena's cousin would've been killed anyway.
--The specifics of Elena's powers solve a lot of the plot holes typically associated with speedsters.
--While, Bobbi & Hunter are lamenting not being able to keep up with powered people, Coulson's out here proving there's still a place for old-fashioned spy work. (The hold music is a nice touch.)
--Ok, why are Daisy & Lincoln kissing? They've had no real setup for this.
--HAHA, Talbot's gonna be so pissed.

#3.12 "The Inside Man":
--Yes, Carla, your husband does have to follow the President's orders.
--Nice bit of elemental strategy in the Creel fight. Also nice to see that we can still have powered people who aren't Inhumans on this show.
--Malick is needlessly impatient with his...creature boss thing, who justifiably wants to catch up on the centuries of history.
--The Australian delegate has the kind of attitude I've come to expect from the Australian government, based on the testmonials of friends I know there, both born & immigrated.
--Daisy, people can choose to turn down their birthrights. Lincoln, the government really would force this on people.
--Since Malick's people all broke the no-weapons rule, that should help Coulson save face at least a bit.
--Why is everything sticky?

#3.13 "Parting Shot":
--Never cook burgers anything but well-done unless you made the patties yourself, Bobbi.
--If I liked mushrooms, I'd actually try some of Hunter's recommendations.
--I appreciate that Coulson is able to provide reasons against assassination beyond just "killing is bad" for the sake of the sociopaths in the audience.
--"No" is the OPPOSITE of a confession.
--"Just think what the United States did for the Native American population..." ...constantly broke treaties with them & progressively stole away reservation lands?
--I actually think Hydra might be an improvement over Putin.
--General Peter Pan's Shadow can tap into Darkforce like Whitney Frost or Blackout.
--Why can't the other traitorous soldiers pay for what happened here?
--The "spy's goodbye" is a bit of a tear-jerker. But at least we'll get to see these two in their own wacky misadventures on Marvel's Most Wanted, which will surely be picked up soon & run for several seasons.

#3.14 "Watchdogs":
--In the news crawl under the Watchdogs' nitramene shenanigans, "Gang war rages in Hell's Kitchen. Authorities searching for solution." I see you, Frank.
--What was that camera zoom on Simmons? Did somebody from the Iron Fist crew sneak onto the AoS set?
--I'm glad Mack's sticking up for civil liberties. No joke, no "but," I'm just glad. Daisy's about to make a mistake.
--How dumb are these Watchdogs that they thought Mack did that quake blast?
--Something about a group of species purists in white masks setting fires in effigy on a black man's front lawn makes me wonder how many right-wingers got upset that the Watchdogs are the bad guys.
--Behold the prototype shotgun-axe.
--Daisy's namedrop here makes me excited for Marvel's Damage Control, coming soon to ABC, right?
--Blake has no stinkin' clue how deep over his head he is.
--Today's secret ingredient is...A NUCLEAR WARHEAD!

#3.15 "Spacetime":
--The quinjet peeling off from the Zephyr is really jarring.
--Like, I know the claw game is easier when there's nothing else in the machine, but the toys can't walk out of the way either.
--Malick has never been in a job interview; those of us who work for a living have heard yet-unnamed-Hydra-being's questions before.
--Fitz is presuming that the 4th dimension is the highest one. But the 5th & 6th dimensions allow for different possibilities.
--CEO Guy thinks Malick couldn't just buy shares on the open market if he wanted?
--The first batch turned gooey, but this batch turned smokey; Hydra-being can't seem to cook his humans right.
--The training room simulation is a really cool idea. I like the brightly-colored fake guns in particular.
--Gideon's power suit is like a not-Hammer version of Diamondback's suit; they'll have to find a different weakness than just running out the battery...like quaking it into a wall at high velocity.
--Oh snap, it's that vision from a few episodes ago again. Poor Charles.

#3.16 "Paradise Lost":
--Stephanie looks like a mannequin in that unwavering pose.
--"Well, you didn't kill him hard enough." Never change, May.
--James has had ONE LINE, & he's already shown more personality than Lincoln did for his first two story arcs.
--SquidWard.
--Today's secret ingredient is...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
--The flashbacks are interesting, & it's fun to see Whitehall again, but the real gun-punch is Alveus channeling Nate. Brett Dalton is a genuinely very talented actor.
--Giyera becomes the first person to break out of the containment module, which he only accomplishes by not letting the doors fully close in the firstplace.

#3.17 "The Team":
--They showed Joey on a date, which is more than I ever expected from ABC.
--Aww, Yo-Yo was gonna come visit Mack anyway! That's cute.
--Hell hath no fury like a parent spurned.
--Joey actually should already be free from suspicion; he killed Lucio, & this "Hive" would never allow that by the way he talks. The others are fair game, though.
--Power's out. It's either Lincoln or Daisy.
--Lincoln's first genuine emotion in several episodes is shock at what Hive can do. It's Daisy. Let's see how long it takes everyone else to figure it out.
--Joey wants out. Sad, but understandable.
--FitzSimmons. They are the magic. (Fitz's "picture of space" joke is one of the best in the series.)
--Daisy's exit is deeply disturbing.

#3.18 "The Singularity":
--The opening shot following Mack is lovely.
--Wash could've made that maneuver.
--The cross cut between Hive's & Simmons's lines is genius.
--Lincoln needs to understand that Coulson actually trusts him right now & just wants to keep it that way.
--Radcliffe's assistant with the stupid name sets off an EMP using the computer in her own arm. So, shouldn't her arm shut down? Or if her arm is somehow shielded, why wouldn't her opponent's tech also be shielded?
--Coulson's SHIELD shield is awesome.
--Daisy is terrifying me by force-choking Fitz, while Simmons is making me proud by calling out Hive on his crap & shooting him.
--Last season, Coulson took out the rest of the Hydra science wing (minus Mitchell Carson), & now he's taken out nearly all of the Hydra cult wing (minus Hive himself). Can't be too much of it left.
--FitzSimmons use the rendezvous room...to rendezvous.
--All of James's nicknames are about flames, but his power is more like Gambit's, specifically about charging things up to explode. "Combustion Man" would be good if it wasn't taken. And no, "Hellfire" is not better than "Scorch."

#3.19 "Failed Experiments":
--The flashbacks to Hive's origin are cool. As ever, the Kree are douchebags.
--Gotta imagine for the time-lapse shot, they really just had Clark Gregg sit there perfectly still as the camera slowly dolly-zoomed towards him for like 20 minutes.
--We did NOT need that closeup on the melting dude.
--Got a couple of redshirts with dialogue here. Let's see if they stick around.
--Radcliffe is way too into this.
--May is playing James like a fiddle.
--Why does it matter whether the Kree specimen is living or dead? The blood doesn't change.
--Daisy actually got her specimen on the table, even if it then got splinter-ganked. Hive couldn't even manage that; he had to dissolve his specimen. Despite this, Hive has no qualms about draining Daisy's blood for his project, just like he had no qualms about sending Alisha to her certain doom against the Kree.

Executive summary: They're piling on the emotional stakes now, which is fitting considering the nature of Hive's powers; not only does he look like Ward & contain dead people's memories, but he's essentially an Inhuman drug dealer, & he's taken our co-protagonist. Really cool stuff happening here.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

SHIELD S7 starts next week! Here's a sneak peek.
Phase 3 begins with part 30:


WHiH Newsfront season 2:

#2.01 "Avengers Impact"
--Hey, it's the Daily Show's Al Madrigal!
--Everhart brings up Tony Stark when referring to the Project Insight incident, in which he was not involved. She's still pissed at Stark, & that's biasing her coverage.

#2.02 "The Cost of Saving the World":
--Everhart's argument is basically "but muh economy", while Adams is saying "if millions of people die, that's gonna hurt the economy just as much AND millions of people will be dead." Sounds kinda familiar.
--The pollees come out slightly in Adams's favor.

#2.03 "The Avengers & the White House":
--Of course Ellis is hesitant to take a stand; he's got a black-ops team involved that he can't talk about.
--According to Everhart, Ross "has experience in dealing with superpowered beings" rather than "should never be allowed into dealings with superpowered beings". Hmm.
--Adams: "The Avengers have been effective in many regards." Everhart: "I don't agree with you." Sure there was a cut, but it's HER SHOW; the editing would be to make her look better, not worse.
--News ticker: Transia needs a new CEO, since Gideon Malick popped the old one's skull like a grape. (Transia has never appeared in the films or one-shots, so this is an explicit reference from a Marvel Studios production to a Marvel TV production.)

#2.04 "President Ellis Discusses the Avengers":
--Hawkeye is "& others."
--Ross "has relationships with many these heroes," leaving out the fact that they're exclusively negative relationships.
--News ticker: ATCU's investigation into the nitramene explosion is mentioned. Another AoS reference.

#2.05 "Breaking News: Attack in Lagos"
--Jackson Norris is working for WHiH now? And he looks different? (The new actor is never credited, so I'mma call him "Two-t McNairy.")
--Imagine giving a live report from a battleground & getting cut off for the President to give a generic "we're gonna help" message that could've waited 5 minutes.
--Adams is kinda reaching here.

Executive summary: Good world-building (& connectivity to what SHIELD's been up to). I appreciate the discussion of accountability, but Everhart's arguments are thin as tissue paper. I guess we need to find out what happened in Lagos now.


Captain America: Civil War:
--Compliance will be rewarded.
--Crossbones's body can no longer be affected by electrical shock, & he just threw a grenade on 2 of his own guys, & he clearly plans to die for his petty vengeance.
--De-aged Tony looks creepy. Good thing it's not a real flashback. That said, they got the visage right; he could've stepped straight out of Chaplin. (And Maria Stark could've just stepped out of Proof.)
--Here we get to see Stark doing some real-world superheroics.
--Holy crap, it's Black Mariah. Not totally sure I can trust her, but Tony sure is taking the bait.
--26 people died in that explosion, but Crossbones tried to set that bomb off on the street with the crowd surrounding him & Cap; if Wanda hadn't intervened, hundreds would've died.
--It's 2016; Ross's heart attack happened in 2011. He might've been *on* the golf course, but the *cause* was probably something to do with Banner embarrassing him & Betty disowning him.
--Sokovia can be blamed on Stark for the creation of Ultron, but Ross also pulls footage of New York & Washington, two incidents which the Avengers were responding to, & in which many more WOULD have died (especially in New York which was going to be nuked).
--The correct answer to "where is Banner?" is always "as far away from Thunderbolt Ross as he can get."
--"If I misplaced a couple of 30 megaton nukes, you can bet there'd be consequences." The Watchdogs just stole a nuke. Your "consequence" was being appointed Secretary of State. Betty's words ring true yet again.
--Rhodey politely asks Ross a valid, reasonable, important, & direct question. Ross does not answer.
--Zemo's entrance is chilling, strong, & verifies what we know from AoS, that Hydra has been reduced to almost nothing in the time since the Insight carriers crashed.
--"In the 8 years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has increased exponentially." Not based on the data given in the movies alone, it hasn't; a linear regression model fits better than an exponential regression. For Vision to be correct, TV characters must be included in his calculation.
--Here's the thing. As long as there is a provision for immediate response in the event of a massive attack, something like the Sokovia Accords is a pretty good idea. But the involvement of somebody like Thaddeus Ross, who we already know absolutely cannot be trusted under any circumstance, taints it from the start.
--RIP Peggy. Wait, Agent 13 is her niece?
--Jackie Robinson is in this movie.
--How does a special operative from an eastern-bloc country not know Russian already?
--Meanwhile, the real Winter Soldier just wants some dang plums in a city 2 hours away, by plane, from the bombing.
--Oh my gosh, it's...CAT MAN. DUde.
--Sam just did a Falcon Kick on a helicopter.
--Dat motorcycle flip tho.
--So the police are driving the wrong way through a tunnel with tons of oncoming traffic to catch a fleeing suspect who tore through your SWAT team without killing any of them, & you think the Avengers are the ones putting the public at risk?
--"Congratulations, Cap. You're a criminal." is Rhodey's worst line ever.
--Keeping Wanda on the campus would be a lot more justifiable if she'd been told that's what they were doing.
--Dr. Watson is in this movie.
--Oh, so T'Challa isn't in trouble because he's royalty from a sovereign ally nation? Kinda like Thor?
--Steve was *about to sign* after the reassurance that practical contingencies could be added, when Tony let slip about Wanda's unjust detainment.
--Tony with an Iron glove lasts about 5 seconds longer against the Winter Soldier than he would've without the glove.
--This is the post-credit scene from Ant-Man, but longer.
--Every attempt at recreating Erskine's serum has gone wrong.
--Tony's left arm has taken a lot of direct blows; it's starting to catch up with him.
--Holy crap it's Peter Parker. And it's about time Aunt May was depicted at the age of a teenager's aunt.
--With great power comes great responsibility. Six months' worth of responsibility; when Crazy Stupid Fine Anna Akana was talking about him, he'd *just* started out.
--Hawkeye made every joke I was going to make.
--This kiss is kinda cringey, but Bucky & Sam's reactions aren't.
--Scott is the first person who greets Wanda with admiration & glee. The smile on her face is heartwarming.
--The supporting characters get the best moments in the airport fight: Nice subtle depiction of the spidey-sense, Ant-Man gets some awesome shots in both tiny & huge, the Long-Islanders bonding was a nice beat, Nat turns coat at just the right moment to show she understands the stakes, & of course, I had to rewind to get a closer look at Wanda's...escape.
--"Then why did you run?" Because there was a shoot-on-sight order!
--Tony Stark has an ego, but he's still a scientist: Presented with evidence that contradicts him, he revises his hypothesis & expects others to help fix things. Thaddeus Ross has an ego, but he's a retired general: Presented with evidence that contradicts him, he dismisses it & expects everyone to continue following his orders blindly so he won't lose face. T'Challa is an authority figure too, but one with much less ego: Presented with evidence that contradicts him, he openly acknowledges his mistake & immediately changes course.
--Zemo killed a hell of a lot of innocent people in his quest for petty vengeance. I wouldn't even call it hypocrisy; unlike the Avengers' collateral damage, these deaths would not have happened had he not intentionally caused them.
--"Did you know?" Cap knew they were assassinated by Hydra, but not specifically by the Winter Soldier.
--Cap & Bucky vs Iron Man is the most emotionally-charged fight we've seen on the big screen, outside of Quill vs Ego.
--"The living are not done with you yet." Zemo doesn't deserve the escape of death. In fact, nobody who's done something so heinous that they deserve to die for it also deserves the *escape* of death. We can't guarantee they'll pay in the afterlife, so make 'em pay in this life.
--Hi, Stan!
--Mid-credit scene: Carefuly, Wakandan scientists; giant panther statue is always watching you.
--Post-credit scene: Stark can't make the webbing, but he can upgrade the shooters.

Executive summary: It's really good that they're addressing these issues in one of the films; most of the real political analysis has been on SHIELD or Netflix so far. And it's a hell of a lot better than the comic version; here Stark's side is actually defensible, whereas in the comic it absolutely was not.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Part 31, in which the film begins to affect the show again.


Agents of SHIELD season 3 part 3:

#1.20 "Emancipation":
--The Accords affect other powered people too. Not surprising.
--Fitz absolutely cannot out-hack Daisy, but he can physically re-wire the servers to limit her access.
--Yo-Yo immediately establishes a huge flaw in mandatory registration: People doing good will get hunted down.
--"It needs to be frozen in a gel-matrix cube!" is one of the greatest sentences ever spoken by a human being.
--Great, now James is going from bargain-bin Gambit to bargain-bin Ghost Rider.
--In the comics, the Alpha Primitives are a race of slaves created by the Inhumans of Attilan, some of which were converted from humans. The Attilan royal family is hugely problematic & unsympathetic, & I'm really glad we haven't seen them yet; sadly, we can't say the same for the Primitives that Radcliffe has created by accident with his improvised "slave engine."
--Radcliffe, whose transhumanism is about upgrading the species, is horrified, but Hive cares only for subjugating the species.
--May & Lincoln's fake-out plan was brilliant.
--Lash manhandling Hive is so cathartic. It makes sense that Lash is the anti-Hive; he's proven essentially immune to other Inhuman powers. What doesn't make sense is how Lash dies.
--Also still not making sense: Lincoln's "every Inhuman has a specific purpose" garbage. Unless the Kree or evolution or the terrigen managed to predict that Hive would return to Earth like 6 months in advance.
--Daisy looks like a zombie at this point.
--Oof, it's the cross from the vision.

#1.21 "Absolution":
--Yeah, I'll bet this aircraft wasn't designed to swim.
--After seeing what happened to Daisy, Lincoln & Elena are willingly wearing the kill vests.
--That's one hell of a code.
--Coulson is able to process what Iron Man couldn't: Mind-controlled people aren't responsible for their actions.
--Daisy understands this too, but her guilt complex won't let her accept it until Mack gets through to her.
--Hive's memory scramble is really something.
--They froze that thing in a gel-matrix cube!
--John Hannah is really Mummy-ing it up, & it makes me very happy.
--Oof, there goes O'Brien. Evil alien conversion gas is a bugger.
--Oof, there goes Daisy. Withdrawal symptoms are a bugger.

#1.22 "Ascension":
--These originally aired back to back, so this literally begins exactly where it left off. Daisy is now immune to Hive, though unlike Jessica Jones, she isn't happy about it (yet).
--If Hive wasn't a swarm, Daisy would've just won.
--The timer on the nuke is set to 31 minutes & started when there were 31 minutes left until the credits. It won't proceed in real-time, but that's still outstanding editing.
--Today on Freaking Terrible Ideas, we'll show you how to weld shut a bullet wound in human flesh with a bowtorch.
--May & Fitz have had it with this monkey-fighting snake on this Monday-to-Friday plane.
--Something something red ledger.
--Fitz pulls off a much better version of Diamondback's finger-gun trick.
--James's concerns are vulgar but valid.
--That cross is bouncing between everybody.
--Coulson did seem like he was standing kinda stiffly, like Blake was.
--Daisy & Coulson figuring out the exact same plan was cute.
--Behold the completed shotgun-axe.
--The Primitive fight is a really cool oner.
--Quinjets are airtight & pressurized, but they can't steer in a vacuum.
--Lincoln goes out like a champ. For that matter, so does Hive, old enough to be wise enough to accept defeat gracefully. Their conversation on the quinjet is a really beautiful moment.
--Aww, Daisy's still helping out Charles's family! And she's trying to hook them up with Cal as a friend! And she's flying! But she's not in SHIELD anymore & Coulson isn't director?
--LMDs?

Executive summary: I legit didn't care about Lincoln until about 3 episodes ago, & now I'm genuinely sad that he's gone. The movie tie-in was much better than last year's, too; instead of an offhand mention of Ultron, we establish a plot thread about the Accords that will probably continue to inform the show. SHIELD keeps improving, but now they finally have to move forward without Brett Dalton.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Part 32, as Hollywood takes the time to do a thing they never have....


Black Panther:
--Everything about this prologue is perfect.
--StL's own Sterling K. Brown is in this film.
--It's been 1 week since T'Chaka died. Tie-in books, even official ones, often suck.
--Maz Kanata is in this film.
--Nakia saves a child soldier. Nice.
--"Just because something works does not mean that it can't be improved." That is true, but at the same time, KNOCK IT OFF, APPLE & FACEBOOK.
--Angela effing Bassett & Adonis Creed are in this movie.
--Benin is nowhere near Wakanda. Either somebody stole some vibranium centuries before Klaue showed up, or somebody from Wakanda got sloppy & lost a tool. Tomb-robbing is one thing, but a lot of stuff in museums was found in the ground, having been lost or discarded; it was not in use OR being preserved.
--"I'm gonna take a break." Retail culture in England must be light-years ahead of where it is in America for her to be able to just say that.
--Idi Amin & Chris from Get Out are in this movie.
--The 5 tribes: Merchant, Border, River, Mining, & Brave.
--The ancestral plane is one of the most beautiful images in this franchise.
--"And it's hard for a good man to be king." T'Challa's story is similar to Cap's in this way; his character goal is to remain a good man now that he has this power.
--W'Kabi's rhetoric is very Republican.
--Solid BttF 2 reference.
--The new Panther suit can do Incineroar's Revenge.
--Vibranium doesn't trip metal detectors?
--Hi, Stan!
--Bilbo & Gollum are playing games with each other again.
--How does the simulator process that maneuver; does Shuri's seat actually tilt?
--Okoye, there are options between "let Everett die" & "let Everett see everything."
--Klaue has been an absolute joy to watc--ope, & he's dead.
--Ok, that must be a birthmark; ain't no way you can give a kid a glowing inner-lip tattoo in LA & nobody finds out.
--Shuri would make an awful spy; she's just telling everything.
--"You ain't the son of a king; you're the son of a murderer!" ¿Por qué no los dos?
--Smart play would've been to say Killmonger missed Challenge Day & he'll have to wait until next year.
--Kilmonger's tally scars look like a rubberized grip layer.
--Unlike M'Baku, Killmonger has no honor & will never yield. T'Challa doesn't realize that until too late. Poor Zuri.
--Erik's experience of the ancestral plane is more limited, but the sky is still out there.
--Okoye mocks Nakia's espionage, but Nakia just saved the lineage of the Black Panther; Killmonger expects to be the last one, as well as the last king. *Destroying* regimes is all he knows. Even his Make Wakanda Great Again plan to slay the oppressors also includes murdering their children, an oppressive atrocity which will demand its own retribution in the future.
--M'Baku's domineering presence & sense of humor are a delight in this darkest moment of the story.
--I've always thought the special snow bed was kinda silly looking.
--T'Challa calling out his ancestors is important. You can love somebody & still tell them when they're wrong.
--Killmonger's refusal to complete the challenge speaks to the hypocrisy of rulers like him. They say they value tradition & law, but when it comes down to it, they only care about what keeps them in control.
--Everett helps by asking the people in charge how to help & following their instructions, not by trying to take charge of things himself.
--Don't be fooled, it isn't thunder. Staying put would be a blunder.
--Being in prison for mass murder is not even close to the same thing as slavery.
--Here's the thing. Killmonger wasn't wrong that Wakanda should've helped the world instead of hiding away for centuries, but he was wrong that the answer was to murder anyone related to those responsible & anyone who would protest his actions. T'Challa realizes this as well & ultimately decides to intervene by lifting people up instead of tearing people down, aka what Nakia said to do at the beginning of the movie.
--Mid-credit scene: "We must find a way to look after each other as if we were one single tribe."
--Post-credit scene: O hai Bucky.

Executive summary: Score, Costume, & Production Design Oscars all well-earned. That's two films in a row now swinging for the fences on the deep political discussions. Killer cast, killer script, killer visuals (except for those Jumanji '95 rhinos).


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"