My grandmother hasn't been doing so well for the past few weeks, as she has been in constant pain since they tried to treat her a month back with her failing joints and all, so I haven't felt like doing much else besides take care of her in the meantime.
She has been improving just a bit recently, but still. Now I constantly have this lingering dread, hoping she doesn't leave us so soon after her husband and my grandfather a year prior. It's been a year already? Jesus.
Anyway, less bumming out—more cheering up.
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[QUOTE="Jere, post: 1592360, member: 35148"]Well better start finding out what she wants to do for the evening![/QUOTE]
Casually, I put it upon her on what she wanted to do. After a couple seconds of mulling it over...
Sirena: Well, let's just cruise straight into the heart of your little city and just see where the night takes us? Because ****—I don't have a goddamn clue what the places to be are; I was just told by Purson that someone like you would know.
Shoemi: Oh. Well, in that case, why don't we start with--
Sirena: Actually now that I've thought about it, do you guys have like a beach we can go to?
Shoemi: ...Um, it's a little late for the beach isn't it?
Sirena: Dude, you asked where I wanted to go and I want to see your damn beach. What's the deal?
Shoemi: Okay, okay... I just figured maybe we'd go to the bar first or something...
Sirena: **** no—I hate bars. I mean, I like drinking, but bars are packed with ******* in my experience. What, are the bars different here?
Shoemi: …
Sirena: ...So, we're going to the beach?
Shoemi: Well, I spent quite a lot on this particular wardrobe plus various scents and accessories...
Sirena: Oh, so THAT's what that stank was. See, I didn't really want to say anything, but...
At that moment, I didn't really want to say anything either, but I just had to.
Shoemi: ANYWAY, I just figured maybe we could do something that... involved me staying in my suit? Because, as you can see, it's not really meant for beachgoing...
Sirena: Wow. You're a piece of work, aren't you? A real classy host. It's real damn important to gussy up for a night out, huh? Have you noticed what I'm wearing? A **** T-shirt with my gym's name on it. It basically translates to, “I don't give a ****, you self-centered chode; I want to go to the beach.” Or do you want to rescind what you asked earlier on what I wanted to do?
Tugging on my collar only because it was too tight and not to transparently mask my spike in anxiety, I remarked coolly:
Shoemi: Uh... No! Wh-where are my manners? Uh, sure we can go to the beach!
Still, I sure as hell didn't want to let my tux go to waste or Shou would have my ass for it. Not to mention a huge chunk of my savings. And then a lightbulb shined through... Y'know, an IDEA lightbulb. Yeah, I'm awesome at metaphors.
Shoemi: In fact, I'll take you to a popular boating spot near where the local river meets the ocean. We can have a nice boat ride with a stellar view of the city!
Sirena: Uh, sure mac—You can boat all you want. I want to
swim. Because as a mermaid......
impersonator, I do enjoy a good swim as often as I can.
Shoemi: ...Well, at one point, you can join me in the boat so that I may bestow you a special surprise?...
Sirena: WHAT?! Where do you get off--?! **** pervert—I just MET you!
Shoemi: NO I MEAN—I have a present for you! Gift-wrapped! You know, something to remember me—I mean this visit by!
Sirena: ...Oh. I mean, you don't really have to but...
Shoemi: I
insist.
From the look on her face, it almost seemed like she was a bit flustered... For like a fraction of a second. Maybe I'm just seeing things, but...
Sirena: Uh... Fine, I guess. But no funny stuff, alright?
Shoemi: This is all kinds of serious. It's what a gentleman does.
Sirena: Heh. Sure, man. Maybe after all that we can score something to eat?
Shoemi: Actually, my mom actually has a big dinner prepared for when we get back, so there's that.
Sirena: A home-cooked meal? Hell, I'm all for that! I was under the assumption that you people always ate out. I mean, based on what Purson said. That's actually really nice; I would love that!
Yes. Phenomenal work, Shoemi—You're reeling her in! ...Not because she dresses like a fish but because... um... Forget it.
Shoemi: Then, shall we be off?
Sirena: Wait--let me change real quick. I don't want to get this shirt wet. I brought another shirt that's more artist-friendl—I mean water-friendly.
Shoemi: Oh, alright. Well, our bathroom's down that hall over th--
I turn around to find her in the middle of already changing shirts. Right in front of me.
Sirena: ...****. I forgot you guys here are prudes about that sort of thing. Sorry.
Shoemi: Uh, uh, UH... *AHEM* ...D-don't worry about it.
Mental note: Probably no nudity taboo. Still, REMAIN A GENTLEMAN. DON'T SCREW THIS UP. We're still alone in this room, right? Oh, thank GOD.
Sirena: Yo—You alright? You're staring off into space again.
Shoemi: WELL SHALL WE BE OFF THEN
Sirena: Whoa, calm down there, sport.
Shoemi: Ah AHHH aaaphblblblblbshhhhall we be off then? *Cough* I'm fine. Let's go.
Sirena: ...
Obviously a clear case of culture clash. I'm gonna have to be on my toes for this one.
I offer to take her arm and walk... hop her to my car. But she just scoffs and jumps off outside on her own. Hmm... Maybe I should make a mental note on her independent streak.
Anyway, so gentleman that I am, I open the passenger door of my Camry to let her in. However, being a gentleman probably doesn't fly with someone like her as she suddenly blurts that she can open doors herself. Another mental note: Not a manners type of girl. So she straps herself into my car as someone without legs can somehow do and we're off to the mouth of the Nicay River.
Along the way, we exchange tidbits about ourselves. I don't need to go over the boring details of my life here (she didn't seem so interested anyway...), so I just focused on what she told me: Though her homeland is known as Botulis (never heard of it), she travels constantly all across the world with her best friend, Lime. Also known as the chick Purson told me about with the skin condition. She seemed pretty tight-lipped about most of the details of her life, so I didn't press further. Because when your date has a mermaid fetish, that's probably for the best. Man, I don't know what kind of ass-backwards country she lives in... I've never even HEARD of this Botulis. Sounds like some place out of a **** fantasy world... No—Let's not think that way of it. Gotta try to see eye-to-eye on this. Remember, it's just culture shock.
A nice conversation and several awkward pauses later, we arrive at Nicay Beach. It's pretty unrecognizable to me at night. I can't even remember the last time I was at the beach while it was dark. Have I ever? I certainly don't recall.
The moon is certainly quite welcoming of us this evening as its reflection glistening off the ocean straight into the horizon presents us the perfect romantic backdrop. Well, romantic if I'm lucky enough to sweep this mermaid with a hard exterior off her feet. ...Fins. Damn it!
Sirena: You weren't kidding about the beach being less popular at night. I wouldn't even have known it was a beach if you didn't tell me. Seriously—There's no one here?
Shoemi: Isn't that the best-case scenario? We have the whole place to ourselves!
Sirena: You have a point there, champ. And it sure looks pretty inviting. You sure you not up to a nice swim?
Shoemi: Not... really in a swimming mood, especially in these clothes... But I'm still set on joining you out there because I specifically chose this place as it has a spot to rent boats!
Sirena: Oh, aren't you the clever one. Where do you do that?
Shoemi: There's a shack a ways down the shore.
Sirena: Okay, then. You do that, and I'll meet you out there.
Shoemi: Hold up—You're going out there already?
Sirena: I haven't swam in a while and I'm itching for another dip and there's a body RIGHT THERE and I don't even know why I'm still talking to you, I'm gone.
And before I could respond, she's already jackrabbitting towards the shore like a hopscotch addict. I just stood there, watching her. Watching her vigorously hop towards shore as she's piscatory from the waist down, putting all sorts of conflicting thoughts coursing through my head on how someone could adequately live a mermaid lifestyle in a world like this. Nevertheless, I shrugged off my ignorance and continued towards the boat shack
I've never really rented a boat from here before, so truth be told, I was a bit taken aback by... particular things.
Shoemi: Hey, how much for... Um. How much for uhh...
Renter: ...Spit it out man, what is it?
Shoemi: Sorry... Um—How much for a boat rental?
Renter: $50 an hour.
Shoemi: Excuse me?! Those tiny wooden things, fifty bucks an hour?!
Renter: Buddy, with how little people actually boat here in lieu of other stuff, you should be lucky I still make enough to even keep having boat rentals be a thing, so deal with it.
Shoemi: Ugh... Fine. I... only have $20, though...
Renter: Eh. It looks like you're here on some fancy date with that girl over there judging by your stupidly fancy tux, so I'll cut you a break: I'll take the 20 and you can have a boat for half an hour.
Well, poo. I guess I'll have to make the most of it and give her the gift right away out there.
Shoemi: Uh... Well, I'll have to take it, I guess.
Renter: Good call.
*takes money* Take the one already in the water at the end of the pier. Oars' already in it; just unknot, haul anchor and shove off.
Shoemi: Okay, thanks... Um... By the way... Are you... From around here?
Renter: What?
Shoemi: Because you look... unlike others from around here...
Renter: ...Look, mac—I'm seriously not in the mood to entertain your curiosity. Just take the boat before I take back my offer.
Man, our city attracts the strangest immigrants. But I wasn't about to force him to renege on the special deal he was giving me so I dropped the issue and headed toward the pier. I shakily boarded my little vessel, untied and unanchored, and shoved off.
…
...Oh right—I had to paddle myself. Goddamn these analog devices; can't ever get used to them. I take the oars and HOLY **** paddling with these things looks WAY easier on TV. I slowly but surely paddled to where Sirena was splashing about and GODDAMN IT THE GIFT. I almost forgot. I rowed towards near where the car was parked and quickly fetched the present while she was underwater, threw the thing into the the boat and shoved off again. Hopefully she didn't catch me transporting her surprise. Why must things always be so complicated?!
Eventually, my Herculean strength comes through and puts me in the middle of the bay. Sirena eventually spots me and surfaces.
Sirena: Hey, you made it. You alright there?
Shoemi: *pant pant* … *WHEEZE* ...N-never better! The... The... I was just... so awestruck by the moon's beauty that it... *cough* lit-literally took my breath away.
Sirena: Heh. Sure, man. Anyway, loving the water here. It's right around the perfect temperature!
Curious, once I catch my breath I lean over and touch the water to see what a perfect temperature for her is li--
Shoemi: AH!! Christ,
that's the perfect temperature for you?! Do you live in the Arctic or something?!
Sirena: ...Did you just scream from touching cold water?
Shoemi: Out of... *ahem* ...Out of surprise. Because that's pretty cold.
Sirena: I guess you can say I was brought up on cold weather. Sure.
Shoemi: Right. Okay, look---I don't have much time with this boat, so can I ask you to come aboard so I can give you something? A... gift to remember our quint little city by?
Sirena: Geez, really? Seriously, you don't need to...
Shoemi: I
insist. As it's something I put a lot of thought into making your visit memorable and I'm sure you'll appreciate it.
Sirena: …
She looks... REALLY skeptical. I know it's only been a couple hours but I'm sure I've endeared myself to her enough to be receptive of my gift. Remember... optimism!
Hopefully Imgur's position as the "socially trendy" image hosting site is a testament to its potential permanence. Hopefully.
