Paul Blart Mall Cop 2

Deku Tree · #1

I haven't seen this movie, and can't say I intend to, but I've found the harshness of some of the reviews pretty hilarious.

It's not that the film is particularly loathsome, or that Blart is an overweeningly horrible character. What rankles is that he's barely anything at all; a stereotype of a stereotype; a half-remembered punchline; a stomach with a moustache and wheels.

The cinematic equivalent of biting into an old brown banana.

So mordantly witless that it takes on the quality of a bleak art-house tragedy.

ScottyMcGee · #2

YouTube · #3

I saw some of the first one on TV recently. It was decent, but not in any way sequel-worthy.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

#4

My cousin and I saw the first one together. Like, we went to the movies, and she wanted to see 'The Spirit', but I'd be damned before I'd go see that crap again. (Anyone remember an era some eight-nine years back, incidentally, when people were excited about Frank Miller movies? How young and naive we all were. The world seemed so fresh and full of promise. I wonder, did the sun shine brighter then?) So we settled on 'Paul Blart'.

It was Die Hard times Kevin James Being Fat. Maybe 6/10.

If they had to make a mall cop sequel (and I assume they were indeed forced to, probably at gunpoint), why couldn't they have revisited 'Observe and Report'? That one was objectively better than Blart in every way. Like, it was engrossing, and messed up.

SmackDownPete · #5

ScottyMcGee · #6

[QUOTE="Booyakasha, post: 1530580, member: 17381"]My cousin and I saw the first one together. Like, we went to the movies, and she wanted to see 'The Spirit', but I'd be damned before I'd go see that crap again.
[/QUOTE]

I kind of only see that movie for Eva Mendes' ass.

There's a trend of producers adapting pre-superhero era pulps that end up being as bad as video game movies. The Spirit wasn't really a pulp but more on the borderline. But there was also The Shadow, The Phantom, The Saint - all mediocre to crappy movies. Once and a while we still get a modern adaptation that tries but fails, like The Lone Ranger.

One day I want to make successful pulp movies.

Apollo the Just · #7

i tried watching this movie for the lulz but could not get past 5 minutes in

but the terrible photoshop memes make its existence worthwhile

#8

My only experience of Paul Blart is Galefore flipping out because they he was getting annoying ads for the first movie all the time.

ScottyMcGee · #9

Wasn't there a brief moment on the news where they said ISIS claimed to threaten to attack malls in America?

I remember thinking, "Huh, so maybe Paul Blart isn't THAT dumb of a plot after all. . ."

#10

[QUOTE="ScottyMcGee, post: 1530586, member: 31048"]I kind of only see that movie for Eva Mendes' ass.

There's a trend of producers adapting pre-superhero era pulps that end up being as bad as video game movies. The Spirit wasn't really a pulp but more on the borderline. But there was also The Shadow, The Phantom, The Saint - all mediocre to crappy movies. Once and a while we still get a modern adaptation that tries but fails, like The Lone Ranger.

One day I want to make successful pulp movies.[/QUOTE]

I liked 'The Shadow'. That was back before Alec Baldwin transmogrified into a panda bear.

Really like the actor they got to play Shiwan Khan. Good old John Lone. He was the bad guy in 'Rush Hour 2', as well. Good actor.

ScottyMcGee · #11

^Hooo snap. I did not realize he played the bad guy in Rush Hour 2 as well.

The Shadow was okay. Way more entertaining than The Spirit. I am in love with other Shadow media though, such as the novels and comics.

#12

I recognised him by his voice. It's very distinctive.

Thanous · #13

[QUOTE="CaptHayfever, post: 1530513, member: 25169"]I saw some of the first one on TV recently. It was decent, but not in any way sequel-worthy.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"[/QUOTE]
That was my exact thought when I saw the trailer for this xD

It's 6 years since this first one came out isn't it? This is quite obviously a dumb after thought then xD but damnnn the first made a nice profit so I get it lmao[DOUBLEPOST=1430887260,1430887226][/DOUBLEPOST]Realizing I've quoted you so many times in so many different threads in the last few minutes xD