Absolutely awful movies with 0% enjoyment

[ScottyMcGee]

What are some of your most hated films?

I don't mean bad movies that were just underrated (IMO stuff like John Carter and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) or cult classics or really campy or silly and still watchable (The Room, Street Fighter, Batman & Robin).

I mean like really awful movies. Ones that we can more or less all agree lie at the bottom of the barrel. Ones that we just have to walk out of the theater, or feel a gag coming on, or even fall dead asleep. These are painful to watch. No amount of alcohol would make it more enjoyable either. Like these should be reserved as capital punishment.

I have thankfully only seen a handful of movies that have made me feel as such.

They include:

Skyline - aka the sci-fi movie where nothing happens. The entire film is a group of young adults figuring out whether or not to go outside or stay indoors during the alien apocalypse. The ending is a complete "What?" and feels like it should have started that way from the very beginning. I really tried hard not to fall asleep.

Grown Ups 2 - I had to see this unfortunate mess because I meant to go see Prometheus at a one of those AMC dine-in theaters. Everything was sold out except for Grown Ups 2. I came all this way so I may as well just fill my time. Bad idea. I actually wanted to throw up. It's so mind-numbingly dull. Utterly tasteless and gross.

The Avengers - NOT THE SUPERHERO ONE. For those not in "the know", The Avengers is also the name of a famous British spy duo from the '60's. They remade the series as a movie starring Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman and Sean Connery back in the late 90's. While those names are marvelous, nothing could stand up to the utter boring plot. I have maybe watched this movie like 5 times in my entire life because I kept falling asleep halfway through and never saw the end. Seeing through it to the end doesn't make much sense either. This crap literally mocks great actors and actresses like Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman; I literally want to find whoever wrote this film and shoot them. Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman would have been wonderful as Steed and Emma Peel, had the movie been something completely different.

[Valigarmander]

Anything by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

[Booyakasha]

I've only seen one or two movies that had literally zero entertainment value. Like, I went and saw 'Meet the Spartans' in-theatre ("that's your own damn fault," I hear you all saying, and you're absolutely right), and even that had occasional flickers of actual humour. Dunno if the writers were having an off day or what.

Like, some of them b-movies that are below Troma-quality, below even MST3K-fodder quality...I saw one this one time, 'The Killer Plankton', I think it was called, and it was just irredeemably awful. Nothing charming or silly about its badness-------everything about it was either horribly stupid or stupidly horrible. Avoid.

[Shane]

I walked out of an Adam Sandler movie once after about 20 minutes. I'm not sure exactly which one but know it was in 2002, so I would guess Punch-Drunk Love.

[LOOT]

Biodome seems pretty appalling

I mean, I guess if it's Pauly Shore then you can safely assume it's insulting

[CaptHayfever]

^Well, Jury Duty wasn't that bad (once you get over it being a blatant rip on 12 Angry Men), & Pauly Shore Is Dead is actually decent.

This is the Army, a 1940s war propaganda musical.
Baby Geniuses; even the worst episode of Rugrats is better.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Shane]

All I know about Pauly Shore is Encino Man.

[Bomby]

Back in the mid-late 90s, Robin Williams wasted his incredible talents on an unholy trilogy of awful: Jack, Bicentennial Man, and Patch Adams.

Also, Queen of the Damned. It's so depressing to think that was the last thing Aaliyah did before she died.

**** City Under Siege. Someone aught to punch Benny Chan really hard over that. I can see people liking the other movies I mentioned, but if anyone on this planet actually liked City Under Siege, I'd be shocked.

[Thanous]

[QUOTE="ScottyMcGee, post: 1522795, member: 31048"]
I don't mean bad movies that were just underrated (IMO stuff like John Carter and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) or cult classics or really campy or silly and still watchable (The Room, Street Fighter, Batman & Robin).

Grown Ups 2 - I had to see this unfortunate mess because I meant to go see Prometheus at a one of those AMC dine-in theaters. Everything was sold out except for Grown Ups 2. I came all this way so I may as well just fill my time. Bad idea. I actually wanted to throw up. It's so mind-numbingly dull. Utterly tasteless and gross.

The Avengers - NOT THE SUPERHERO ONE. For those not in "the know", The Avengers is also the name of a famous British spy duo from the '60's. They remade the series as a movie starring Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman and Sean Connery back in the late 90's. While those names are marvelous, nothing could stand up to the utter boring plot. I have maybe watched this movie like 5 times in my entire life because I kept falling asleep halfway through and never saw the end. Seeing through it to the end doesn't make much sense either. This crap literally mocks great actors and actresses like Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman; I literally want to find whoever wrote this film and shoot them. Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman would have been wonderful as Steed and Emma Peel, had the movie been something completely different.[/QUOTE]
Agreed that those are way underrated, but ohemgee I couldn't even watch more than like an hour of batman & robin, definitely put it under this unwatchable category.

I guess I'm the only one who liked the grown ups movies xD the first is one of my favorites lmao

Oh gad, they made a movie? I cannot see a way it could be good lmao. The show tho, so much nostalgia xD

[SmackDownPete]

I'm surprised Battlefield Earth hasn't been mentioned yet.

[Calamity Panfan]

^ Battlefield Earth has a LOT of entertainment value. It's so silly that it's fun

The Last Airbender is a garbage movie. One of the absolute worst. Also A Haunted House which I think is a Wayans brothers movie.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Do old movies count? There's tons of those. More recently I guess I'd have to say Finding Nemo. My mind numbs up when that turd plays.

[ScottyMcGee]

[QUOTE="I REALLY HATE POKEMON!, post: 1523091, member: 18119"] I guess I'd have to say Finding Nemo. My mind numbs up when that turd plays.[/QUOTE]

What?


What?

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Well, I don't watch a lot of movies and I hate cartoon movies in general but something about that one in particular...

[Booyakasha]

I hate 'Finding Nemo'. I can't believe that garbage won the Oscar for Best Animated in the year that gave us 'Triplets of Belleville', 'Millennium Actress' and 'Tokyo Godfathers'.

[ScottyMcGee]

I had no idea people could have strong negative opinions on Finding Nemo. I had only imagined that was possible if you liked to punch babies or something.

[Apollo the Just]

^^ I like Finding Nemo and all but it did not have **** on Millennium Actress.

Those asterisks are capitalized for emphasis.

Also, along the same lines as Baby Geniuses, there are a lot of young children's' movies that have literally nothing to offer. That one would probably also top my list though

[Thanous]

[QUOTE="ScottyMcGee, post: 1523133, member: 31048"]I had no idea people could have strong negative opinions on Finding Nemo. I had only imagined that was possible if you liked to punch babies or something.[/QUOTE]
same xD
[QUOTE="Booyakasha, post: 1523129, member: 17381"]I hate 'Finding Nemo'. I can't believe that garbage won the Oscar for Best Animated in the year that gave us 'Triplets of Belleville', 'Millennium Actress' and 'Tokyo Godfathers'.[/QUOTE]
I see that I must add a few movies to my to watch list

[ScottyMcGee]

Where do you even watch other alternate animated films? Usually the mainstream ones dominate the theaters. Around where I live I can never find most of the other nominees. Same thing with the documentaries and short films.

[Booyakasha]

Independent theatres are a good bet. The Oriental and Downer are where I've been to see smaller animated features the last many times ('The Illusionist', 'Steamboy', 'Metropolis', the aforementioned 'Triplets of Belleville', 'Spirited Away', among others).

Aside from that, I used to rent them from Blockbuster, but, you know...not an option so much anymore.