Kim Jong-Un declares new Seth Rogen film an "act of war"

[Calamity Panfan]

http://www.avclub.com/article/north-kor ... o-m-206212

Continuing an escalation that future history students will someday find in their textbooks, right alongside the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, North Korea has declared the upcoming release of Seth Rogen and James Franco’s The Interview an “act of war that we will never tolerate.” As was reported earlier this week, the nation that is normally pretty chill about everything reacted to trailers for the film—in which Rogen and Franco embark on a comic misadventure to assassinate dictator Kim Jong-un—by denouncing it as more evidence of the “desperation of the U.S. government and American society,” and even worse, not as good as James Bond.

But these were the informal opinions of an unofficial spokesman for Pyongyang. The latest statements, conveyed through the Associated Press, come directly from North Korea’s Foreign Ministry, which threatens a “strong and merciless countermeasure” if the White House doesn’t prevent The Interview from screening. “The enemies have gone beyond the tolerance limit in their despicable moves to dare hurt the dignity of the supreme leadership,” the statement reads, threatening “stern punishment” for a film that dares to slander Kim Jong-un as an unstable, posturing warlord. Said punishment could involve everything from using its nuclear weapons system that it totally has, to Kim Jong-un and his friends making their own, supreme version of Pineapple Express.

While North Korea has withstood being the glorious butt of pop culture parody before—Team America, 30 Rock, that time Dennis Rodman went over there at the behest of David Letterman or Funny Or Die or whomever—The Interview has apparently invited “the towering hatred and wrath of the service personnel and people of the DPRK,” in a way presumably not seen since the time someone served Kim Jong-un a sandwich that didn’t have the crusts cut off. The statement also directly implicates the U.S. government in its production, suggesting it bribed a “gangster filmmaker” to make it. (The Interview is co-directed by Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen, whose previous film, This Is The End, was propaganda calling for the assassination of everyone in Hollywood.)

This is the first time a James Franco movie has been declared an act of war since the last one.

[Apiary Tazy]

Maybe they should detonate nuclear weapons underground again. That was a good idea.

[LOOT]

I would really, REALLY love to see what happens if the US responded to North Korea's constant "NYEEEEH WE'RE GONNA FIGHT YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP"

be like a **** war axe against a paper fan

[Deepfake]

STOP MAKING FUN OF ME YOU TERRORISTS

[CaptHayfever]

[quote="China] :facepalm: [/quote"]

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Marilink]

It's kind of funny (not, like, funny "ha-ha" but funny "aww") that North Korea just doesn't really understand how the rest of the world works. To them, a movie made in America is automatically a product of the government. Because, you know, who else would make it?

[Valigarmander]

Come on, Seth Rogen's not that bad.

[Calamity Panfan]

^ I dunno, have you SEEN The Green Hornet?

[Auron]

Awww, North Korea wants the world to pay attention to them again.

[Random User]

Why haven't we wiped them off the planet yet?

[X-3]

This could be huge. North Korea knows a lot about declarations of war.

[Jere]

[QUOTE="Random User, post: 1472248, member: 35827"]Why haven't we wiped them off the planet yet?[/QUOTE]

Because no one want to be responsible for the malnourished sick people of NK!

[CaptHayfever]

[QUOTE="Random User, post: 1472248, member: 35827"]Why haven't we wiped them off the planet yet?[/QUOTE] China.
China is North Korea's only ally. If anyone attacks North Korea, China will retaliate. However, China is getting really sick of the Kim family's crap, so I'm pretty sure that if North Korea starts the fight, China is willing to let them lose.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Random User]

[QUOTE="CaptHayfever, post: 1472260, member: 25169"]China.
China is North Korea's only ally. If anyone attacks North Korea, China will retaliate. However, China is getting really sick of the Kim family's crap, so I'm pretty sure that if North Korea starts the fight, China is willing to let them lose.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"[/QUOTE]
I had actually forgotten that North Korea had any allies.

[Bomby]

Dammit, Franco.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Nuke everyone everywhere.

[Kil'jaeden]

Kim can always keep Rodman and try to trade him for Rogen.

[Deku Tree]

Kim Jong-Il took Team America comparatively well.