Caution! PWNAGE ahead!
Just as CRASHMAN's A.I. had recorded enough data to assault Will at full capacity, more varibles were introduced to totally screw up the robot's processing advantage.
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Unknown entity has appeared.
Source of entity appears to be "book?".
Scanning...
Entity identified as canis lupus.
Canis lupus possesses characteristics atypical to species.
Error: Extent of canis lupus' abilities incalculable! Unknown parameters!
Scanning...
Canis lupus appears to be aiding subject X.
New strategy required...
Although it lacked the anatomical construction of a human mouth, the supernatural wolf growled out a raspy approximation of the English language.
"What's the matter, Tin Man? You look baffled!"
was the last operation performed by CRASHMAN before the canine terror pounced on him, teeth-first. His mouth closed around CRASHMAN's head and he took him down to the ground. There were loud snapping, crunching and grinding noises as the wolf's teeth punctured the both sides of the robot's head.
The Big Bad Wolf backed off of CRASHMAN, shaking metal fragments off his teeth and spitting inorganic particles out of his mouth. He coughed before looking back at Will.
"What kind of trickery is this?"
"He's an android." Will responded, directing anger at the assassin of whom he spoke. "He's designed to look like a man, but he's completely robotic. Furthermore, I'm certain he'll try to kill us both if we give him any breathing room."
CRASHMAN's left hand opened into a missile port and he aimed at the unlikely duo.
"Is that so?" The villainous beast quickly dove down on top of the mechanical menace and put a forepaw against his left wrist-equivalent, shoving its aim off target. An incendiary missile flew out the library's skylight. He brought up his left paw and slammed it down onto CRASHMAN's face. Once. Twice. Three times. The skin-colored paint ripped away. The plasticly deforming metal dented inward into his head. CRASHMAN's optic input began to flash from an angry canine face to a screen of snowy static. Back and forth it flashed. Damaged relay circuits reported irregularities to his CPU.
The Crash-Bomb launcher on his right arm closed into a drill head and began spinning. In time with the wolf's fourth blow, CRASHMAN crammed the drill into his assailant's ribcage.
"AAAAHHH!" It didn't take very much ripping and twisting of the animal's thorax for him to hop back. Wolf blood had splattered the area, and there was a large hole of a wound in his stomach.
"Tricked me into getting a taste of your iron face, did you?! Now pay, you inhuman trash-heap!"
While CRASHMAN was getting up, the Big Bad Wolf clamped his teeth around his right foot. Exerting a
great deal of strength, he spun in a circle, swinging the hapless robot around for momentum. Wolf managed to raise him off the ground and suddenly released his biting grip. The centrifugal force flung CRASHMAN through a wall into a room full of audio cassettes. He was greatly disoriented until he hit the back wall his head. This caused his legs to hit the floor. Immediately, his internal gyroscopes were able to detect which direction was down, and he caught his balance before falling completely to the ground.
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Heavy damage incurred to helmet.
Circuit groups A14, A15, and A19 badly damaged.
Repairing shorts...
Relay circuits A16-104b, A16-105b, A16-106d, A17-103f unresponsive.
Circuits have sustained irreparable damage.
Multiple errors originating from data backup boards.
Wolf and Will looked at the wreckage. There was a white cloud blocking their vision into the room caused by drywall being powderized.
"..."
A Crash-Bomb flew out of the dust towards them. He dodged with canine agility, and the bomb flew far enough past them to be ignored. CRASHMAN walked forward into view. His right arm was leveled at them, bomb port fully opened. His upper half was jerking spastically and sparks were flying off of him. The top of his head was smashed in, but that didn't seem to be affecting him much. He did not stop his 'power trot', but kept a steady pace with the two of them as his destination.
<I get it. That's why he never ran at me. He's incapable of sprinting. That half-jog power-walk is the only speed at which his legs can propel him.>
Will's feral steed ran forward and swung his right claw at the robot.
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Attack trajectory deciphered.
Calculating counter measures...
CRASHMAN's left arm shot up at an amazing speed and blocked the Big Bad Wolf's attack. He immediately followed up with a right-cross to the beast's face. What the heck, did someone give this robot Karate lessons?
Wolf staggered back, slightly dazed, then shook violently and bucked Will off.
"Get off, human! You're only slowing me down!"
Will flew backwards into a bookcase. No actual damage was inflicted by the collision, but it agitated the painful stings of his former injuries. When he looked up, he saw the metal assassin once again turn on his thruster engine, but this time, it launched him directly forwards. He rammed his shoulder into the Big Bad Wolf in a straight-up Robo-Tackle.
They crashed through another bookshelf and began rolling on the floor wrestling for an advantagious position. The crash caused a miniature novel to fall on the floor next to Will. Curious, he turned it over to read the front cover.
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde
A compound explosion was heard in the distance.
"Hmmm..."
He began to meditate on the characters of the old story.
<Edward Hyde may be small, standing at roughly 5'7", but he is fast, vicious, armed, and quite strong despite his little stature. Although his size is altogether unimpressive, there is none more brutal than the murderous Mr. Hyde.>
The tiny book fit easily into his messenger bag.
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CRASHMAN was now sitting on the Big Bad Wolf's chest like a UFC fighter. They traded several blows to each other's heads, both exhibiting incredible endurance. The massive canine then wriggled his body with a whip-like motion, tipping the heavy robot off of him. He quickly rolled over on top, swapping positions. Instead of sitting on his chest, however, the dog stood upright, concentrating all his weight on his back legs. He jumped up into the air slightly--just enough to come stomping down on CRASHMAN's chestplate as soon as he tried to lean upward. He smashed his torso back onto the cement floor with a resounding
'clunk'. Having foiled his attempt to stand up, the Big Bad Wolf leapt up again, slightly higher this time, to really give the second stomp some attitude to go with it. Sparks shot out of the robot's chest as it dented inward. Bending his knees, CRASHMAN put his left foot flat against the ground and pressed down to raise his hips up for maximum reach. He then slammed his right foot into the beast's back causing him to fly forward off of him. Rather than skidding face-first across the floor, Wolf put a paw forward on to the ground in order to guide himself into a roll. After rolling to his feet, he spun around to see CRASHMAN already in a half-kneeling position with one hand (no hands, yes, but the end of his arm) on the ground and already firing a volley of incendiary missiles. They collided with him with rather weak explosive force, but he erupted into raging flames.
Luckily the Big Bad Wolf was no stranger to fire or heated situations, and managed to keep a cool head even though his skin and fur were being roasted. Keep a cool head, that is,
after he infuriatedly slashed at a heavy metal cart labeled "Fiction--Teens" which, of course, very intentionally, ripped through the air into CRASHMAN, who sailed with the cart for a good ten feet before smashing into a support column. The conflagrated canine took off running across the library and jumped over bookshelf, springing off the top of it in order to get big air so he could leap clear over that whole section of aisles. Landing, he plowed through a solid wall ending up in a single-occupant ladies' room with one toilet and a sink. With a mighty swipe, he demolished the commode into dozens of porcelain fragments. The water pipe protruding from the wall where there had once been a fine lavatory began to spill cool, clean water onto all of the restroom floor. He dropped down and rolled, entinguishing the flames as they were pinched between his body and the water-logged tile floor.
The Big Bad Wolf angrily stepped back into the library. His skin was charred and his fur was soaking wet, which was uncomfortable to say the least. He looked and saw CRASHMAN firing a Crash-Bomb his way. Wolf began to inhale and enormous amounts of air were sucked into his chest and stomach. The wolf swelled to twice its size as he kept a sharp eye on the incoming explosive. When CRASHMAN's projectile was ten feet from the wolf he blew as hard as he could. It was as if a whirlwind had formed inside the library. The signature moves of both combatants met climactically. The flying Crash-Bomb was utterly rejected by the strength of the air current and flew off sideways away from both of them. It landed on the floor quite a ways away, but since the claws did not engage and clamp onto anything, the detonation timer did not start, leaving an unexploded Crash-Bomb in the corner.
"Whaddya know? I huffed and puffed and blew your stupid little bomb into oblivion! Now do you see what you're dealing with, Tin Man?"
The robot looked at him with a cold, emotionless stare.
Not even his high-powered processor could grasp how fantasy and reality could become one and the same... how this fairy tale creature could have performed such an impossible feat.
The Big Bad Wolf balled his hands together above his head and leapt forward. CRASHMAN hopped back out of the way as Wolf swung downward, and replied with an uppercut worthy of a comment from Shao Kahn. The forest beast was lifted off his feet and his head was thrown back, leaving him gazing skyward, his feet rising in front. A quick burst from CRASHMAN's thruster allowed him to follow, and he started a backward flip while passing over Wolf. As he completed the flip, he swung his right foot down onto the canine's face, spiking him into the cement floor.
Although greatly dazed from the impact, the Big Bad Wolf performed a
Kip-Up. After CRASHMAN landed, the metal assassin and the canine juggernaut turned to face each other simultaneously. CRASHMAN aimed a launcher at Wolf and he caught the robot's arm. This process repeated with their remaining arms, but the Big Bad Wolf had something CRASHMAN did not. He clamped down on the mechanoid's torso with his massive jaws and yanked back, pulling CRASHMAN off balance. As the robot tumbled face-first, Wolf heaved with all his might, using CRASHMAN's forward momentum to swing him into a desperate backwards toss. The mechanical menace sailed through the glass barrier, down into the shaft of the central elevator and out of view.
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Will felt a bit stronger now, but he was drowsy. With the Big Bad Wolf fighting CRASHMAN, he had time to rest his muscles, pick out splinters, and tend to his wounds in general. He stood up and began stretching. Yes, his body felt relief, but his vision was fuzzy. It seemed as though as long as the Big Bad Wolf was alive and moving about in this world, that there was also an intense mental strain on him. Even though he felt like he could go eight more rounds, it also felt like he'd taken a thousand tests and written a hundred essays. He flexed his muscles and blinked a few times. He couldn't think straight...
He was approached by the Big Bad Wolf.
"Now, what was our deal?" he growled.
"Oh, yeah. Ummm--Hey!"
With a lightning-quick claw, the beast snatched his copy of
Grimm's Fairy Tales. Before a reaction was even possible, the wolf had torn the book in half.
"I'm sure not going back in there!"
"What?! I--"
Wolf wrapped a paw around Will's throat, cutting him off mid-sentence. He lifted him off his feet by the neck and pinned him against the wall.
"I took a little gamble, see... I figured if you brought me into this world by speaking, you probably need to speak to banish me. Not gonna happen."
The claw was clamped tightly around his neck, preventing him from breathing or speaking.
The wolf laughed.
"Now that I'm in this alternate world where my destiny is determined by me alone, and I don't seem to be fading back, I really have no use for you anymore. They don't call me the 'Big Bad Wolf' for nothing! Don't worry, though; I'll make it quick..."
Will was reaching into his messenger bag for something to get him out this mess, but he didn't have to. He suddenly dropped Will to the floor.
"What's going on?!"
Wolf spun around, revealing a Crash-Bomb attached to the back of his head. Will jumped behind the customer service desk and put his hands over his head.
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!--"
*PFROOM!!! Bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang!*
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Threat neutralized.
...
Mission Status: Incomplete
...
Terminating Subject X.
Suddenly, the strain on Will's mind was gone. He stood up and looked over the desk to see the Big Bad Wolf, decapitated from the blast. From a hole in the elevator shaft, he spied a badly smashed-up yet steadily-advancing CRASHMAN.
<You gotta be kidding me...>
OOC: OK, PK. Here's the rough draft. Hope you like it. There may be certain parts where you say, "Wait, that's not right..." This would probably be caused by my failing to properly imagine the full size of your creature. Let me know.
*opens topic for comments*
