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TFW Gender

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:15 pm
by Apollo the Just
TL;DR -- please refer to me as a boy/man, as masculine, using the pronouns he/him, as male. Thank you.

Alright, so.

Y'all may have noticed that I changed my name recently for the first time in basically ever. That is because I no longer find that I identify with the name "CuccoLady," most specifically the latter half. I'm trying to forge a new identity that feels more comfortable to me.

I've had off-and-on Gender Doubts for a couple years now, but never to the extent that I wanted to go through the process of vocalizing them and trying to change how people perceive me. Recently though, with more and more of my friends coming out as transgender and expressing feelings of relief and happiness and comfort in doing so, I've decided to try "coming out" to a couple people and communities at a time to see how it feels. The few people I've talked to so far have made it a very positive experience for me and I'm finding that being referred to as masculine and perceiving myself as masculine feels deeply satisfying. However, I'm still not certain enough to announce this to most folks I know IRL yet.

Since VGF is a place I've visited for almost half of my life at this point, and it's a lot easier to present as male online than IRL, I wanted to try it on for size here first. There's a possibility I might end up realizing that this isn't really me, I don't know, but I won't ever be sure if I feel more comfortable living as a man if I don't start somewhere. And that somewhere is here. So unless and until I mention otherwise, please recognize me and refer to me as male.

Thank you all for being a great happy part of my life. <3

((for those of you who know or interact with me in other circles where I haven't vocalized these thoughts, if you have concerns about how to address me elsewhere please go ahead and PM me!!))

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:41 pm
by Deku Tree
You got a preference for an abbreviated proper noun?

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:45 pm
by I REALLY HATE POKEMON!
So your new permanent user name is Apollo the Just, and we just shorten it to AtJ?

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:45 pm
by United Nations
You got it! :thumbsup:

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:58 pm
by Apollo the Just
[QUOTE="Deku Tree, post: 1624672, member: 18320"]You got a preference for an abbreviated proper noun?[/QUOTE]

Not particularly. I didn't choose CL either, so whatever makes sense and comes naturally I guess.

[QUOTE="I REALLY HATE POKEMON!, post: 1624673, member: 18119"]So your new permanent user name is Apollo the Just, and we just shorten it to AtJ?[/QUOTE]

Like above, I don't really have a preference for a shortening. AtJ sounds good to me. And yes to the first question!

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:04 am
by Heroine of the Dragon
*giant hugs* All the <<<3333 to you, AtJ!! And thank you for your bravery and just being the wonderful you that you are!! :D

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:14 am
by DarkZero
Welcome to male...ness? I guess? I hope you enjoy it

Does AJ work for a shortening? I don't like shoving small Ts in the middle of things

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:18 am
by Apollo the Just
^ absolutely not. If you do not address me with a lower case t, we 100% cannot be friends. How dare you suggest something so completely preposterous.

that's fine I rly don't care like I said whatever makes sense and comes naturally

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 2:09 am
by Cravdraa
Congrats on your grand experiment, Apollo.

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:33 am
by Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds
Apollo. Sun card tattoo. Dude, Ari, that's some next-level foreshadowing. A++

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:41 am
by Apiary Tazy
Alright then, fair enough if that's what you want.

Just a word of advice: Don't let changing your gender be what matters most to you. I'm not saying that it doesn't matter, but there's a lot of dark places in transgender discourse and... call it a concern. I'm sure you can take care of yourself though don't hesitate to come here if you need help and stuff. I'd like to think I have some wisdom rattling around in my brain.

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:55 am
by Deepfake
Much love, I'm very proud of you and I'm here if you need anything at all.

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:18 am
by Antisocial
Hooray for finding yourself. :)

I've known you too long as the initialism CL so I'm probably gonna stick to that because it's natural to me and my memory is shot unless you make an OBJECTION. Maybe if I repurposed it as "CuccoLad". Or "CUCCOLADDIE" Image

I'll be sure to make a mental note that you're a smelly boy now, though. Please excuse me if I forget because again, shot memory; pronouns get buried into my long-term mem pretty fast. Hell, I still have trouble with remembering Loot being a pretty girl now.

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:31 am
by Apollo the Just
[QUOTE="Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds, post: 1624709, member: 17429"]Apollo. Sun card tattoo. Dude, Ari, that's some next-level foreshadowing. A++[/QUOTE]

;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:38 am
by Booyakasha
I'll try to remember AJ, or AtJ, and the proper pronouns.

Might forget here and there for the first little bit. Sorry in advance.

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:47 am
by Calamity Panfan
Can I still abbreviate your name to "loser" HAHA GOT HIM

In seriousness, best wishes on the next steps. Forgive me in advance if I slip up and misgender.

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:57 am
by Apollo the Just
Panfan..... words hurt :frown:

Thank y'all so much for hearing me out and being understanding. I completely understand if people slip up a bit at first - I still accidentally type in my old username sometimes when logging in bc of 10 years of habit - but your effort is acknowledged and appreciated and all I ask is that if you misgender me and either catch yourself or are reminded, you correct yourself. <3

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:53 pm
by Random User
Sure thing, bro.

Hope you figure things out and determine how comfortable you are with masculinity! Glad to see people have made it a smooth ride so far, too.

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:59 pm
by Bomby
Cal I call you "Bruh" now then? Not that I ever use the word "bruh" on the internet.

Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:19 pm
by Apollo the Just
You could have always called me "bruh," bruh.