I've been watching Saturday morning cartoons on FoxBox/KidsWB for a while now. Normally I turned it off at 10, which was when Yu-Gi-Oh came on.
Well, I watched the entire Yugi vs. Merrick fight. I can honestly say it was about 40% "MY WINGED DRAGON OF RA IS INVINCIBLE! AHAHAHAHA!", 15% "We must save Merrick's good side!", 40% Merrick and Yugi pulling cards out of their asses, and 5% actual action.
Merrick: Not so fast, PHARAOH! My Winged Dragon of Ra Egyptian God Card cannot be defeated! AHAHAHAHA!
Yugi B: Wanna bet! BEHOLD! Sniper, the Sky Dragon!
*Ra flicks a booger on Sniper, and Sniper dies*
Yugi B: ...er...
Merrick: Now my Winged Dragon of Ra Egyptian God Card! Attack his Life Points directly!
Yugi B: Not so fast, Merrick! I reveal a card that I put on the field without even looking at it! It's my Ancient Sanctuary! It'll deflect Ra's attack into you!
Merrick: OH NOES! -Activates a card he needed that just so happened to be the one he took from Yugi's hand to stop Ra's attack- Fool! Nothing can defeat my Winged Dragon of Ra Egyptian God Card! Not even the Winged Dragon of Ra Egyptian God Card! AHAHAHAHA! Now, I'll send Ra back to the Graveyard like I keep doing for a reason I'm really not even sure of myself.
Yugi B: Well, now I use my Ancient Sanctuary to summon OBELISK THE TORMENTOR! -Out comes an actually rather cool looking monsters- Now, Obelisk! DESTROY HIM!
Merrick: ...well, unless you cancel your attack, you're going to send my weaker side to the SHADOW Realm! AHAHAHAHA!
Yugi A: He's right, Pharaoh! We have to find a way to defeat Merrick's evil side while saving his good side!
Yugi B: Yes, you're right. Your move, Merrick.
Me: What happened to the attack?!
Merrick: YOU FOOLS! NOW I CAN DESTROY YOU IN ONE SWIFT BLOW! NOW, MY WINGED DRAGON OF RA EGYPTIAN GOD CARD! DESTROY HIS LIFE POINTS AND SEND HIM TO THE SHADOW REALM!
Yugi: Not so fast, Merrick! I happened to lay down the one card I needed to defeat you! It's a card that needs a bunch of ridiculous requirements that I just happen to fulfill! It'll deflect the attack back at you!
Merrick: OH NOES! Well, I just so happen to have the card I need to counter that so that my Winged Dragon of Ra Egyptian God Card can send you to the SHADOW Realm!
Yugi B: And I just so happen to have the card needed to counter THAT!
Yugi A: Wait, Pharaoh!
Yugi B: What is it, Yugi?
Yugi A: If you go ahead with that attack, you'll kill Merrick's good side!
Ponytailed Dude who was unconscious in bed the last episode: MASTER MERRICK! GET YOUR HEAD OUT YOUR BEHIND AND FORFEIT THE DUEL!
Merrick: SCREW YOU!
Ponytailed Dude who was unconscious in bed the last episode: MASTER MERRICK! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! YOU CAN OVERCOME YOUR EVIL SIDE!
Good Merrick: Yes, he's right! -Enter five minute long speech about how you can create two of yourself just by getting tizzy about something-
-Insert some really confusing crap here that I still don't understand-
Merrick: KILL ME! PUT AN ARROW THROUGH MY HEART! ATTACK ME! ATTACK MEEEEE!
Yugi B: Yes, I must! It's the only way to save humanity.
Yugi A: No, you can't! You'll destroy Merrick and his evil side will rule surpreme over the world!
Yugi B: Yes.
Yugi A: No.
Yugi B: Yes.
Yugi A: No.
Yugi B: Yes.
Yugi A: No.
Yugi B: Yes.
Yugi A: No.
Yugi B: Yes.
Good Merrick: WOULD YOU TWO QUICK ARGUING AND ATTACK ME ALL FRICKIN' READY?!
-Insert a lot of flashy stuff here. Obelisk and the Sniper grab Ra and enter some pentagon portal, leaving Good Merrick's entire body with Evil Merrick's eye-
Evil Merrick: NO! NONONO! Listen to me, Merrick! You can still win the duel! And if you do, we can rule the world together! Ah, who am I kidding. I'LL TAKE OVER YOUR BODY AGAIN AND RULE THE WORLD! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Merrick: Well, that's done. I forfeit.
Evil Merrick: WHAT?!
Merrick: I forfeit.
Evil Merrick: NOOOOOOOOOO! *boom*
Everybody: CONGARTULATIONS, PHRAOH DOOD!
Merrick: Oh, and Pharaoh! I must thank you in some way! Here, look at this! ::yanks shirt off as "I Believe in Miracles" starts playing::
Kaiva: Now that the tournament's done and Yugi just saved humanity, why don't you all just GET YOUR UGLY FACES OFF MY ISLAND BEFORE I NUKE IT!
All that rambling was probably still more coherent than the actual cartoon.
Although it's still a lot better than Pokemon...
Where are these lemmings going? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Hop in line and follow them there!
[ August 29, 2004, 02:42 PM: Message edited by: CodieKitty ]
